I am not a man who loves pork- given a choice I will eat almost any other kind of meat save seafood. Thus, you can imagine my surprise when after eschewing all things pork for years, I bit into a taco al pastor while car shopping with Tara and my life literally changed. All money that was not earmarked for other things became taco money. I got leaner. I got bigger. I got considerably stronger. And my life improved from a happiness standpoint almost immeasurably. Was it all due to tacos al pastor? Possibly, but I’d rather just have you know that these tacos taste so fucking good that they have the potential to change your life in a very tangible way.

We left off our investigation of the handheld source of culinary wonderment and adoration known as tacos al pastor with the acknowledgement that tacos have a long tradition of being eaten by hard motherfuckers, usually in an environment that could best be described in modern parlance as sex-positive, 420-friendly, and soaked in liquor. Tacos served as the ultimate melting pot for the many cultures that had come to augment the flagging ranks of native peoples decimated by disease, and influences as far ranging as North Africa and Turkey played heavily into the development of the the modern taco

All of that immigration funneled a ton of invention and fusion in terms of cuisine in Mexico’s taquerías. Prior to the invention of what would come to be known as tacos al pastor, at that time called tacos arabes, all of the tortillas in Mesoamerica were made with ground corn as opposed to wheat, as wheat was only introduced to the continent with the arrival of the lice-ridden, smallpox-blanket-bearing Europeans, and it took some time to reach the nomadic peoples of Northern Mexico. Around that time, the immigration boom mentioned in Part 1 was occurring in the region, and immigrants from the Mideast were cooking up all manner of mouth-smacking, Venom-drool-inducing, juice-dripping deliciousness on vertical rotisseries for the people building the new nation.

The meats cooked on the vertical rotisseries invented by Turkish epicurean god İskender Efendi, shawarma, gyro, tacos al pastor, and durum/doner kebab, get my vote for some of the greatest inventions to come out of that ancient region, and it seems the people of Mesoamerica (and particularly Puebla, where they were first seen) agreed. These culinary delights were spit roasted on a vertical rotisserie and served on flour tortilla, and the methodology and seasonings easily translated into tacos. Historians place the development of the flour tortilla for use in tacos and burritos in the first decade of the 20th century, which might come as a surprise to anyone who believed one or the other was older than that- the modern incarnation of Mexico is a tremendously young nation, and trade with Europe was slow to develop due to the problems colonialism and Western-style slavery unleashed on the region. It was actually the Turks who introduced the flour taco, so when you eat a cold taco hungover as Kiefer Sutherland on the set of 24 and have the thing hold together rather than disintegrate into an unwanted decoration for the lap of your shorts, you have the Turks to thank.

“The technique of cooking meat on a vertical spit would eventually evolve into tacos al pastor, but the main difference is that tacos árabes usually use lamb,” chef Marc Meyer of Manhattan’s Rosie’s says. “In addition, the meat in tacos al árabes isn’t marinated; it has a more simple salt seasoning, and it’s served with flour tortilla.”  The onions, cilantro and salsa of modern-day tacos al pastor are hallmarks of Mexican cuisine. But in many cases, pineapple is loaded onto the spit—and then atop the cooked pork—as well. If you find that tradition curious, you’re not alone. Take it from chef Alex Stupak of the acclaimed Empellón Al Pastor, “Where the addition of pineapple came from remains one of history’s most delicious mysteries” (Salazar). 

At some point, the enterprising Lebanese immigrants feeding the people of Puebla invented tacos arabes, which then morphed into tacos al pastor. Oddly, that name translates to “shepherd’s tacos,” which seems curious given the fact that it’s made with pork, and shepherds are about as useful to pigs as neckties and condoms. This is likely due to the fact that the preferred meat in Central Mexico is, to this day, mutton, which is also commonly used in the epicurean delights of the former Ottoman Empire. They didn’t become popular in Mexico until the middle of the 20th century, which was interestingly around the time Mexico started turning heads internationally with their performance in the boxing ring.

Prior to the 1930s, recreational sporting wasn’t all that popular- Sociologists Norbert Elias and Eric Dunning theorize that the impetus to participate in organized sport arises out of the “quest for excitement in unexciting societies,” (Beezley) and Mexico’s formative years were anything but boring. They had 55 presidents in 63 years in the 19th century, multiple revolutions, and a hell of a time deciding whether they were Spanish or something else altogether. Their bleeding-edge frontier life attitude meant that they typically resolved their disputes with bloodshed, and one US Marine Colonel commented in 1942 that among the Spanish and Mexican you were the person Violent J of ICP dreams of being, because even as little kids they were very kill or be killed:

“You had to learn to stab your little friends or they stabbed you.”

– Col. A.J. Drexel Biddle,former hand to hand training officer to the Marine Corps in the Second World War

I suppose that stands to reason, as even some hard-ass miners would likely need to rely on a knife instead of their fists if they’re eating vegetarian tacos for lunch during a hard workday- they’d be too tired to brawl hard like the miners of the UK. To give you some idea of the rough lives of the miners of the 19th century, here is an account from a Lancashire miner (their fighting style gave rise to rough-and-tumble, and then modern submission fighting):

“‘on Christmas day I saw twelve pitch battles with colliers. Were they stand up fights?  No; it is all up and down fighting here.  They fight quite naked excepting their clogs.  When one has the other down on the ground, he first endeavors to choke him by squeezing his throat, then he kicks him in the head with his clogs.  Sometimes they are very severely injured; that man you saw today with a piece out of his shoulder is a great fighter.’

It is difficult to get an accurate picture of just what life was like in a colliery village in the nineteenth century, simply because most of those who wrote about the subject did so from a particular perspective and the colliers themselves has neither the leisure time nor the inclination to write their own stories” (Burton).

Although Colonel Thomas Monstery didn’t encounter them, Mesoamericans likely produced a gang of seriously badass hand-to-hand fighters in the pre-Colombian era because at least one culture that traded heavily with the peoples of Mexico has a pre-Colombian fight tradition that persists today in spite of its illegality- tinku. Tinku’s source lies in the hell on Earth pictured above, as the largest tinkus (which means meeting-encounter) hail from that city. Large groups of people gather together in circles and the women play music as men and women square off in brutal no-holds-barred brawls armed with anything from fists to feet to rocks to slingshots and whips.

“The Bolivian tradition began with the indigenous belief in Pachamama, or Mother Nature. The combat is in praise of Pachamama, and any blood shed throughout the fighting is considered a sacrifice, in hopes of a fruitful harvest and fertility. Because of the violent nature of the tradition there have been fatalities, but each death is considered a sacrifice which brings forth life, and a donation to the land that fertilizes it. The brawls are also considered a means of release of frustration and anger between the separate communities. Tinkus usually last two to three days.

During this time, participants will stop every now and then to eat, sleep, or drink” (Tinku).

Though it’s unproven that tinku ever expanded into the Mayan or Aztec empires (which were far more warlike than were the Inca), it’s much more probable that the indigenous peoples of Mexico simply stopped practicing the bare-knuckle fighting of the past when they were suddenly thrust from a massive but crumbling stone age empire into the industrial age in just over two hundred years- they had much more important shit to do than hang a beating on their fellow man. They were too busy building a new empire to maintain all of their (likely fucking awesome) ancient traditions, and it’s not as though the Spanish encouraged any such thing anyway.

Indigenous fight sports aside, there was a sizable population of emigres from the former Ottoman Empire, and most of them settled in the greater Mexico City are (which includes Puebla). These people not only brought with them their food but their sports, and the Ottomans were well known since the dawn of their empire as boasting some of the greatest oil wrestlers the world has ever seen. Though it’s fallen out of favor in the modern world, oil wrestling dates back to the first recorded civilization, which means it’s stood the test of time well enough to find a place among modern fight styles. They were also famous for belt wrestling, a style extremely similar to jacket wrestling, similar variations on the same theme of which are popular among people around the world ranging from the Swiss Alps to the steppes of Mongolia to the shores of the Black Sea, and everywhere in between. Thus, the Ottoman transplants were bringing far more than just cumin and a vertical rotisserie to the table- they were also bringing brawn built by brotein-laden bounty of Turko-Mediterranean cooking.

Mexico’s influx of immigrants wasn’t finished contributing what they could to Mexican culture, however, because the Spanish clearly had a heavy influence on what would become Mexican culture as well. Food-wise, their main contributions to Mexico were the introductions of all kinds of domesticated meats (the Mesoamericans only had the turkey as a domesticated food animal) and rice, by way of China. As I mentioned previously, Mexicans have for the entirety of their nation’s history been known to get stabby with it when tempers flared (which was likely often, because being a miner in the 19th century wasn’t making anyone exactly rich, comfortable, or healthy. Fightfighting waned to the point of disappearing by the time the taco began to see the light of day, because bringing a fist to a knife fight often ends badly for the fighter without steel in their hand. This seems to have been a Spanish sentiment to favor the steel over the fist for settling disputes, and the indigenous people of Mexico adopted that mentality in what must have been an attempt to fight fire with fire.

“Not everyone in our country knows what a tricky science there is behind the use of the knife as a weapon of offense and defense, but let him travel away to the South or Southwest among the people browned by the sun and a new and deadly phase of the man-fighting art comes to the surface.

Knife fighting seems generally to be a weakness of Southern denizens as well in the Old World as the new. South of Mason and Dixon’s line is this country it is no unusual thing even at this day to find a bad man who prides himself on his superior science with the thing, but to get into real knife territory one must go into the Mexican and South American countries. Here he will find desperadoes innumerable whose use of the knife for generations has evolved into a well defined science, as distinctly so almost as the use of the fists in this country by exponents of that art. The origin of true knife science is said to have been Andalusia, where its use was brought to great perfection. Hence in South America, when a native is particularly renowned as a deft wielder of the short blade, he is petted by his friends by being referred to as having sprung of true Andalusian stock” (Chouinard).

If you read the series about 19th century merc with a mouth Colonel Thomas Hoyer Monstery series, you’d know he fought alongside the revolutionary forces multiple times in Mexico and fought quite a few duels there, one of which ended in death (because it was over a broad). He held tournaments that featured the “Mexican knife” which you can read about by clicking on these colorful words.

In short, it’s safe to say that tacos were the OG fuel for a lot of hardasses throughout the years, on multiple continents. And though you might not find that sort of context valuable in a discussion of foods that serve as training aids, think again-

the context in which foods are eaten is often nearly as important as the nutritional content of a food, as the context often provides much more information about the effects of the food on the mentality, strength, and behavior of the people consuming it than does simple nutrition.

And lest you think it’s my opinion that it’s just the fight and strength sports enjoyed by a people that make them worthy of emulation, think again- it never hurts to take a look at their attitudes towards sex. It’s not as though there have been an overwhelming number of badass prudes in the course of human history, so it might make you pleased to know that the hand-portable food that put Mexico on the world’s culinary map was neck deep in human semen, gunpowder, and blood. As the Chili Queens of San Antonio slung mad Mexican food (and in doing so a love for their women and culture) in what amounted to a massive open-air brothel/bar/gambling den, the newly minted Mexicans to the South were also using sex to sell their delicious, delicious foods.

Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere else, fuck it!

“Cuautla is about a hundred miles or so from Puebla, and the speedy trains of the Interoceanic Railway take about ten hours to make the journey. The train which I took left about seven o’clock in the morning ; it was not timed to reach Cuautla until five in the evening; and as there was not any restaurant at any intermediate station, a somewhat terrifying prospect of starvation faced travelers. How were they to get their luncheon? A little pamphlet given away by an American tourist agency and evidently written by an accomplished press-agent gave me the desired information:

‘At a certain station on the road, said my traveler’s guide, ‘your train will stop for some twenty minutes. Here you will be greeted by graceful Indian women,— beauties, many of them, with their olive skins and dark, flashing eyes, bearing themselves with queenly grace in their dainty rebosos and flowing garments, white as the driven snow. They will offer you such dainties as tamales, chili-con-carne and tortillas, piping hot from their little stoves, and prepared with all the scrupulous cleanliness of a Parisian chef. They will bring you dainty refrescos of freshly gathered pineapple or orange to quench your thirst, and pastry such as your mother may have made when her cooking was at its prime’”

So, can you imagine what you get when you take several highly advanced warlike cultures and unite them with a hatred for the aristocracy and a love of flavor, fucking, and bloodshed? Tacos al pastor, the single most delectable way to consume the flesh of a pig. Whether you put them in traditional corn tortillas or the Arab-influenced flour tortillas, al pastor is fucking delectable, and the nutrition on the two methods of conveying savory is heavy on fats and proteins and light on carbs, so although it’s not quite keto it could likely be convinced to be pretty easily, and should you not want to go the ripped-to-shreds route, I’ve found that keeping your macros more or less isocaloric allows for a lot of growth and strength with a minimum of fat, and you can jiggle your your macros a bit until you find your sweet spot to prevent you outgrowing too many clothes.

Tacos al Pastor

Ingredients (for 10 servings)

• 5 lb boneless pork shoulder
• 3 tablespoons achiote paste (In the Mexican section of your US grocery stores, but I’ve no idea if you can get it in Europe. It’s this) If you’re curious, achiote = annatto, which is used to color cheeses yellow and orange, so I think it’s included for color, not taste.
• 2 tablespoons guajillo chili powder (I just put a few chilies into the food processor and break them down pretty finely)
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon dried oregano
• 1 tablespoon cumin
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 tablespoon pepper
• ¾ cup white vinegar(I used apple cider vinegar because it’s what I had, but I’d imagine rice vinegar would work really well too because of the sweetness)
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1 pineapple, skinned and sliced into 1-inch (2 cm) rounds

FOR SERVING

• 10 small corn tortillas
• 1 white onion, finely chopped
• 1 cup fresh cilantro, finely chopped
• 2 limes, cut into wedges

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT

1 thick wooden skewer, trimmed to the height of your oven

Directions

1. Slice the pork shoulder into about 1-centimeter (¼ in) slices, then transfer to a large dish or bowl. Coarsely chop half and onion and two pineapple rounds, discarding core; cover and chill remaining pineapple. Place chopped onion and chopped pineapple in blender. Add orange juice and the achiote paste, chili powder, garlic powder, oregano, cumin, salt, pepper, vinegar, and pineapple juice; puree marinade until smooth. Place pork in large resealable plastic bag. Add marinade and seal bag, releasing excess air. Turn to coat. Chill at least 4 hours and up to 3 days.
2. Preheat the oven to 350°F (180°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or aluminum foil.
3. Place a slice or two of the pineapple on the baking sheet. Take a wooden skewer and push it directly in the middle of the pineapple. Remove the pork from the fridge and push the slices through the skewer, layering one after the other until there is a 1-inch (2 ½ cm) gap at the top. Push another pineapple slice on top.
   • You can actually build a DIY stainless steel pan for this, which I’ve yet to do because I am fully addicted to the al pastor at the aforementioned Jalapeno’s. They sell all kinds of vertical rotisserie shit on Amazon, so should you find yourself loving this, you might want to grab one. Otherwise, you might want to use a ceramic bowl with soaked wooden skewers to hold the meat in place- the sides of the bowl should keep the tower from toppling.
4. Bake for between 2 and 3 hours, until the pork is slightly charred on the outside and deep red and the meat on the interior is cooked through. Rest the meat for about 10 minutes, then carve off thin slices of pork and roasted pineapple. On a vertical rotisserie, the meat is constantly shaved either into tortillas or into a meat drawer at the bottom of the rotisserie
5. To assemble, place some pork on the tortillas, followed by a few pieces of pineapple, a sprinkling of onion, a pinch of cilantro, and a spoonful of salsa, and some diced avocado.
6. Serve with lime wedges.

Nutrition Info

Calories: 537

Fat: 30g

Carbs: 19g (16g net)

Fiber: 3g

Sugar: 3g

Protein: 47g

Caloric Breakdown: 35% PRO / 12% CHO / 53% FAT

Now, to top this, you would traditionally use verde or rojas, which are the thinner, green and red salsa/taco sauces you see in legit restaurants (and now at Taco Bell as well, to an extent). Lately, however, I’ve been going hard on salsa casera roja, which is a creamy orange taco sauce that is fucking delicious when done right. The creamy mouthfeel isn’t from cream or mayo, either- it’s the result of the emulsification of the oil, and it gives me a bit of creamy texture without detracting from the heat, which is the thing that puts my ass in the motherfucking seat (twice, if the food is appropriately spicy, for ingress and egress).

Salsa Casera Roja (Orange Taco Sauce)

This recipe is not my own (I linked the creator in the sources), and I find it to be about as close to perfection as one could get on orange sauce.  There are half a million recipes for all of these dishes, as everyone has their own spin on all things Mexican (as it should be with fusion food- there is no “real” Mexican food- Taco Bell was considered authentic Mexican food until a couple of decades ago.  If you’ve got one you prefer, share that shit in the comments- that’s what all of this is for, after all.  You learn by teaching and sharing shit, so get fucking involved in the process. In any event, this is one of my two favorite taco sauces (rojas being the other, to be covered in another article.

If you’re kinda lazy (we all are at times, Yellowbird Habenero Sauce is a pretty decent orange bottled taco sauce.  It’s not going to rival the stuff you’ll get in a good taqueria, but it’s better than no salsa casera roja, that’s for fucking sure. Now, the “in” crowd suggests carrots should not be the source of the orange color, nor should orange juice- as with anything else, these recipes are up for a great deal of interpretation, so don’t get too caught up in what’s “authentic.” The people who are busy trying to parse “authentic” from “inauthentic” food are like old timey racist talking about racial purity- they’re close-minded, dogmatic killjoys with about as much knowledge of Mexican food as they have knowledge of ancient Aramaic or making a woman cum… which is to say none at all.

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 pounds (.7kg) fresh tomatillos
• 1 large onion
• 14.5 ounce can fire roasted salsa ready diced tomatoes
• 2 tablespoons (30ml) apple cider vinegar
• 1 head garlic (cloves peeled and separated)
• 1 tablespoon (15ml) salt
• 1 tablespoon (15ml) pasilla chili powder
• 1-3 habanero peppers, for mild-hot heat, respectively. If you’re like me, choose your own adventure and know that my ghost pepper experiment did not go well. 
• 3/4 cup (175ml) olive oil
• 1/4 cup (60ml) achiote (annato oil)

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients except the achiote and olive oil in a saucepan and bring them to a boil.
2. Simmer fifteen minutes, stirring more or less constantly. It’ll burn if you let it sit.
3. Divide mixture into two batches and puree in a blender or food processor, adding half of each type of oil in a thin stream while it’s running.
4. Store refrigerated up to two weeks or freeze.

Tacos Arabes

And hell, maybe you want to go old school with it and try the OG style of al pastor, the tacos arabes. Frankly, I prefer the mild sweetness of the al pastor, as it’s rare I eat even lightly sweetened meats, but I do love me some shawarma, which also has a very mild sweetness from the spices used, like cinnamon and cumin. This isn’t going to be quite the serious OG recipe, as that was simply seasoned heavily with salt- this is a bit more of an updated shawarma-style arabes recipe. If you want the real old shit, just salt the fuck out of the meat and you’re done for the original style, or the slightly updated style of salt and cumin (so just omit the other seasonings for the meat). This recipe comes in part from Serious Eats and in part from me making a lot of shawarma over the years- it’s intended to be done on a vertical rotisserie, so you could always use the methods from al pastor for cooking this if you wanted.

Ingredients (Serves 6-8)

For the Pork:

• 1 kg / 2 pounds boneless blade-end loin or sirloin pork roast
• 1/2 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
• 2 tablespoons (30ml) fresh juice from 1 lime
• 1 tablespoon (15ml) each:
  • ground coriander, ground cinnamon, and black pepper
• 1 1/2 teaspoons (6g) ground cumin
• 1 1/2 teaspoons (6g) ground cumin
• 1 1/2 teaspoons (6g) ground dried oregano (preferably Mexican)
• 2 teaspoons (8g) kosher salt
• 8 ounces sliced bacon (1/2 pound; 225g)

For the Chipotle Salsa:

• 1 (7-ounce; 200g) can chipotle chilies in adobo sauce
• 1 medium clove garlic
• 2 teaspoons (10ml) distilled white vinegar
• 1 teaspoon (4g) ground dried oregano (preferably Mexican)
• 1/8 teaspoon (0.5g) ground cumin
• Water, as needed
• Kosher salt

For the Yogurt Sauce:

• 1 cup (240ml) full-fat yogurt
• 1 tablespoon (15ml) fresh juice from 1 lemon or lime
• 1 tablespoon (15ml) extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 tablespoons (6g) minced flat-leaf parsley leaves and tender stems
• 2 medium cloves garlic, minced
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

For Serving:

• 8 rounds pita bread, warmed (see note)
• Lime wedges

Up next, I might finish up the Isometrics series, but I might also drop an article on the first black Mr. America Harold Poole, who was a far more interesting person than Larry Scott, to whom Poole took second at the Olympia twice. There’s more recipes on the way, I’ve got a ton of Fustigation Fury shit getting built out, and a two part series on how a fundamental difference in philosophy has caused a massive schism in our civilization in which the Fundamentalists are pitted against the Mystics- one half will be an old school, vitriolic rant, and the other will be a high-minded take on the schism, but they’ll essentially cover the exact same thing from two different (and ultimately correct) perspectives. Fell free to let me know if you have a preference in the comments.

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Sources:

Beezley, William H. Judas at the Jockey Club and Other Episodes of Porfirian Mexico (3rd Ed.). Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press, 2004.

Burton, Anthony.  History’s Most Dangerous Jobs: Miners.  Charleston: The History Press, 2013.

Chouinard, Maxine.  Divers foul tricks and stratagems: Mexican and Bowie knife fighting.  Hemamisfits.  17 Aug 2014.  Web.  13 Jun 2020.  https://hemamisfits.com/2014/08/17/divers-foul-tricks-and-stratagems-mexican-and-bowie-knife-fighting/

Cuautla, Mexico, has the world’s oldest railway station building.  Geo-Mexico.  10 Mar 2010.  Web.  18 Jun 2020.  https://geo-mexico.com/?p=483

Ekinci, Ekrem Buğra. Sports culture in Ottoman society. Daily Sabah. 14 Oct 2016. Web. 15 Jun 2020. https://www.dailysabah.com/feature/2016/10/14/sports-culture-in-ottoman-society

Friesen, Katy June.  Where did the taco come from?  Smithsonian.  3 May 2012.  Web.  13 Apr 2019.  https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/where-did-the-taco-come-from-81228162/

Lau, Sue.  Salsa Casera Roja (Orange Taquera Sauce).  Palatable Pastime.  27 Jan 2020.  Web.  6 Jun 2020.  https://palatablepastime.com/2020/01/27/salsa-casera-roja-orange-taquera-sauce/

Lomax, John Nova.  The bloody San Antonio origins of chili con carne.  Texas Monthly.  10 Aug 2017.  Web.  17 Jun 2020. https://www.texasmonthly.com/food/bloody-san-antonio-origins-chili-con-carne/

Martin, Addie K. and Jeremy Martin.  Tacos mineras recipe.  Culicurious.  2 Sep 2016.  Web. 13 Jun 20120.  https://www.culicurious.com/tacos-mineras-recipe/

McMahon, Marci R.  Domestic Negotiations: Gender, Nation, and Self-Fashioning in US Mexicana and Chicana Literature and Art.  New Brunswick: Rutgers University Press, 2013.

Myrick, Richard.  A complicated but brief history of tacos.  Mobile Cuisine.  Web.  13 Jun 2020.  https://mobile-cuisine.com/culinary-lessons/history-of-tacos/

Nelson, Davia and Nikki Silvia.  The Chili Queens of San Antonio.  NPR.  15 Oct 2004.  Web.  19 Jun 2020.  https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4107830

Salazar, Marisel.  Tacos al pastor:  your favorite Mexicn food is actually Lebanese.  Tasting Table.  26 Apr 2017.  Web.  17 Jun 2020. https://www.tastingtable.com/dine/national/tacos-pastor-history

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