Conservatives Say They’re Badass, Gun-Waving Lumberjacks and Liberals Are Scared, Weak Little Bitches… But the Reality is Considerably Different, Part 2: Intelligence and Education

Jamie Chaos

January 10, 2021

Conservatives Say They’re Badass, Gun-Waving Lumberjacks and Liberals Are Scared, Weak Little Bitches… But the Reality is Considerably Different, Part 2: Intelligence and Education

In Part One, we learned about the fact that without healthcare most of the people rioting will probably have themselves out of the gene pool in 50 years, because they’ve got cellulite on their earlobes and their collective diabetes is serious enough that if they spit on you, their fucking saliva will throw you out of ketosis. If you missed it, click these words. The TLDR of part one, though, is that

it’s much more likely that you’ll find a sober 20 something in a Boston bar on St Patty’s Day than you will a physically fit man in fighting shape voting for Trump. In fact, it’s far more likely that if you hug a Republican too hard, cream cheese will be pressed directly out of their pores like they’re a sponge filled with cheesecake.

In part 2, you’ll learn that the sloth and indolence that the conservatives express through their physiques is actually just a reflection of their weak, ugly insides. Now, as correlation does not equal causation I will not deign to suggest that I know the root of the issue- it is their idiocy that causes them to be terrible people, or is it the fact they’re so lazy that they’re fat and stupid and evil? That question remains for social scientists to ponder over the next few decades as we deal with the various limp-dicked, half assed insurrections these halfwits foment because they don’t understand the meaning of any of the words they endlessly bleat, least of all any pertaining to the first two amendments to the American Constitution.

While you’re about to see the statement about Republican voters is factually true, the meme obviously isn’t because Trump rarely states a fact if he can help it. Stop sharing memes without fact checking them- that sort of shit is what Republicans do. Be better than that.

Conservatives Are Not Exactly a Fucking Brain Trust

It should come as a shock to no person with ears or eyes and a basic command of the English language that conservatives are not a bright bunch. Given that they elected a man who speaks considerably worse English than your average recent immigrant Uber driver, it should be relatively unsurprising that the educated people in America definitely don’t live in the red states. The reasoning behind this can be explained in a variety of ways that don’t involve me impugning the characters of the people living in those states, but I’m not in that kind of mood. As Colin Woodard described in agonizingly great detail throughout his book American Nations, the Southern states were founded by the worst of British aristocracy. They were the least intelligent, most indolent (that means lazy) and the most racist motherfuckers Britain had to offer, while the Appalachians were filled with violent Scots-Irish so fiercely dedicated to resisting the incursion of the wider world at large that they have openly resisted efforts at improving their literacy. And civilization in general, while we’re at it.

It’s not surprising then, that they’re stupid before they even hit the books and loudly and aggressively continue that trend throughout their diabetes and illiteracy-filled lives. Science has correlated childhood IQ and adult political ideologies, and it’s about what you would expect. The more red your hat, the lower your IQ, and vice-versa.

Religion also correlates in exactly the manner you’d expect, with the very religious using a big handful of wadded up god to pack the gap in intelligence between themselves and the useful. And that’s not to suggest that the mentally handicapped are without use- they might have slow CPUs, but those motherfuckers are overclocking them and running them hot every fucking day, whereas the dumbshits in DC made a conscious choice to follow the example of their parents and be fat, lazy, stupid, racist motherfuckers with terrible fashion sense and even worse taste in music.

Degree holding goes exactly how you would expect after seeing the charts above- with people in the red states running from books like they were perpetually on fire, they’re not exactly snatching up the nation’s degrees in any kind of numbers.

States with Highest Percentages of Bachelors Degree Holders

All blue.

Washington DC (48.5%)
Massachusetts (38.2%)
Maryland (37.3%),
Colorado (35.9%), and
Connecticut (35.6%).

States with Highest Number of Advanced Degree Holders (Masters and PhD)

All blue again.

Washington DC (28%),
Massachusetts (16.4%),
Maryland (16%),
Connecticut (15.5%), and
Virginia (14.1%).

The Dumbest Motherfuckers in the US, By State

I genuinely don’t even understand how a person could fail to graduate high school- legitimately mentally retarded people can make it through high school in four years. In any event, southerners fail to graduate high school like they’re achieving a fucking success with it. If failure were an Olymnpic event, the American South would sweep the fucking medals every year, edging out even such tough perennial competitors like the “Democratic” Republic of the Congo (where the West has to fund militias to protect the remaining wildlife from slaughter, and some of that wildlife includes the very human Pygmies, who are reportedly eaten by the Bantu Congolese) and French Guiana (which has the highest suicide rate in the world).And then they wonder why no one bothers to explain Covid to them- those dumb motherfuckers should have opened their eyes and ears in high school, and should know now that as dumb shits they should shut the fuck up and do as they’re told. It seems they are too stupid for even that.

These are all red save California, which by district is far more conservative than people think (Northern and Eastern California are just as red as the deep South).

Alabama (82.1% HS, 22.0% BA, 7.7% MA)
Alaska (91.4%, 26.6%, 9.0%)
Arizona (84.2%, 25.6%, 9.3%)
Arkansas (82.4%, 18.9%, 6.1%)
California (80.6%, 29.9%, 10.7%)

Clearly, the conservatives struggle with science, and I was unable to locate a Christian analog to Pubmed to consult for this article, though i think their theories would be at best scientifically suspect.

Scientists Weigh in on Why Conservatives are So Much Dumber Than Liberals

Not to put too fine a point on it, but

the prevailing theory for why stupid people are socially conservative is that they actually less physically evolved than their liberal counterparts.

Frankly, that theory chafes only insofar as waiting seems to be our only option. As the Savanna-IQ Interaction Hypothesis, explains, social conservatives appear to be a couple of generations behind this year’s new Android (and some are even suffering like iPhone users, behind the Android users even if they’re on the latest model). This theory, which arises out of the Savanna Principle and the generally accepted theory of the evolution of general intelligence, suggests

“that more intelligent individuals may be more likely to acquire and espouse evolutionarily novel values, such as liberalism, atheism, and, for men, sexual exclusivity, than less intelligent individuals, while general intelligence may have no effect on the acquisition and espousal of evolutionarily familiar values” like marriage, family, and friends (Kanazawa).

This correlation isn’t temporal, either- both childhood and adult intelligence metrics can accurately predict one’s opinions on liberalism, atheism, sexual exclusivity (for men, but not women), and even vegetarianism (more intelligent children are more likely to become vegetarian, as intelligence also correlates strongly with pacifism, feminism, and environmentalism. Before you get your back up, realize that I too thought that only the stupid and weak were empathetic or emotional until I realized the people I always idolized, like the Mongols, Huns, and Vikings, were all wildly emotional people who were also insanely violent and intelligent. The Vikings were the scribes of Northern Europe, and all of the Germanic tribes are best known throughout antiquity for their artisanship and metallurgical skills- they were hardly pussies or idiots. The Mongols, for their part, specifically disallowed the killing of skilled artisans, engineers, scientists, and scribes, and helped the East-West spread of technology throughout Eurasia even as they stacked bodies like cordwood. And once more, science has our backs, because intelligence and empathy are statistically correlated as well (Casas).

And when you think about it, it only makes sense- no one is going to put a person like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory in charge of anything involving humans, ever, because it would be like giving a person with Down’s Syndrome his normal job. Emotionally crippled people (like conservatives) are just that, and being crippled has never in history turned anyone into a badass… save for maybe Ivarr the Boneless. And he was one evil little scheming shitslug, so he shouldn’t be anyone’s role model anyway.

And as to the less evolved bit, here’s a very simple explanation:

“Humans are naturally omnivorous, and anyone who eschewed animal protein and ate only vegetables in the ancestral environment, in the face of food scarcity and precariousness of its supply, was not likely to have survived long and stayed healthy enough to have become our ancestors. Vegetarianism would therefore be an evolutionarily novel value,” and that value is one that our less evolved counterparts lack (Kanazawa).

So there you have it- conservatives are what they are because they’re outdated models trying to compete in a very fast-paced world they barely understand. To make things worse, they denigrate learning and intellectualism, compounding their problem because their already too-small hard drives are mostly left empty. And they’re not the only ones- Tara and I can only read so many fucking books a week, and we’re seriously propping up these dogshit numbers. Hardly anyone reads anymore, and it’s a fucking disgrace. If you want to be on the right side of history, maybe figure out why you’re on that side using logic, rather than just following the trends. Plus, learning shit rules. I am living proof.

Be better today than you were yesterday, every day.

As I stated in part 1, the people against whom we are fighting are not individualists- they are assimilationists. It is easy to see who they are online in that they invariably talk about the strength and weakness of a person or one’s actions rather than whether or not they were good or bad (Liebrand). This is because they look to their peers for approval on an action rather than thinking about the action itself, and their moral compass plays far less a role in their behavior than the perception of their actions by their peers. This means, however, that your good behavior can influence their behavior, because they genuinely cannot help themselves- they must emulate the behavior of their peer group. Thus, if we set a positive example for them to follow, it might help make them slightly less unpleasant, but not entirely. Perhaps due to their physical limitations, even their lemming-like urges to follow the pack won’t get them to exhibit truly prosocial behavior, but it can improve their casual helping practices (Brohmer).

Better something than nothing, right?

So every time a conservative opens their fucking mouth, use these statistics (and your fists if you want) to shut it- that’s why I went to the trouble of writing this series in the first place. As I’ve shown, conservatives for the most part have no valid opinions because they know nothing, have been nowhere, have done nothing, and will be nothing- they are stupid, lazy, short-sighted, selfish, and obsessed with assimilation. That said, they’re frightened and heavily armed, so treat them like you would any mentally retarded person brandishing a firearm and let the cops handle it lest you accidentally catch a round (they can’t fucking shoot for shit either, because they’re good at very, very little). Despite what Behind the Bastards might say, the cops are certainly not all bad- they just have been saddled with some really, really shitty outdated models and they’re working with an outmoded system in dire need of an update.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 780eba058330c476aa238405c4daba0cd12d61b9.jpg

I am one man fighting an entire universe of sloth and stupidity, and I’m not above asking for a bit of help. This is DIY as fuck, so if you can throw me some loot to aid in my efforts, I’ll definitely put it to vitriolic good use.

Become a Patron!

Sources:

Brohmer H, Fauler A, Floto C, Athenstaedt U, Kedia G, Eckerstorfer LV, Corcoran K. Inspired to Lend a Hand? Attempts to Elicit Prosocial Behavior Through Goal Contagion. Front Psychol. 2019; 10: 545.

Casas RS, Xuan Z, Jackson AH, Stanfield LE, Harvey NC, Chen DC. Associations of medical student empathy with clinical competence. Patient Educ Couns. 2017 Apr;100(4):742-747.

Kanazawa S. Why liberals and atheists are more intelligent. Social Psychology Quarterly. 2010, 73(1):33-57.

Kanazawa, Satoshi. Why Liberals and Atheists Are More Intelligent. American Sociological Association. Web. 22 Oct 2019. https://www.asanet.org/research-and-publications/journals/social-psychology-quarterly/why-liberals-and-atheists-are-more-intelligent

Liebrand WB, Jansen RW, Rijken VM, Suhre CJ. Might over morality: Social values and the perception of other players in experimental games. J Exp Soc Psych, May 1986. 22(3):203-215.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

18 responses to “Conservatives Say They’re Badass, Gun-Waving Lumberjacks and Liberals Are Scared, Weak Little Bitches… But the Reality is Considerably Different, Part 2: Intelligence and Education”

Anthony Moran

January 13, 2021

Hey, Jamie.

I was raised in a liberal city. My parents were both Democrats.

I held those beliefs and values for quite some time, probably until I hit 20-21 when my first love dumped me after 4 years and I slid into a depression and years long torpor. I spent all my time outside of work inside on the internet, eventually stumbling upon 4chan. I got into racism and conservatism after awhile. Part of me wanted to rebel against my upbringing; always a contrarian, but mostly I attribute it to being in an isolated, unhealthy mental state. Not speaking for all right leaning people, that’s just me.

When trump came around I had just been diagnosed with adhd(legit. It runs in my family both paternal and maternal) and was put on amphetamines. They worked well for awhile but I began to lose my humanity and my warmth as I started abusing it. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the drug triggered a manic episode and despite knowing that trump is a dumbass and a scumbag, the growing delusions led me believe he was something a bit short from the second coming. I voted for him and defended his scumbaggary despite knowing deep down that I was wrong. Even after I stabilized I still supported him. I spent years spent putting poison in my head, that shit doesn’t go away overnight, but it was waning until finally I grew tired of his bullshit.

The racism took a bit longer to go away. A big part of it was wanting to belong to something after being alone for so long. It was only until I went to rehab for my horrendous amphetamine addiction that those feelings disappeared. I found my group: recovering addicts and they come in all races.

Nowadays I don’t pay much attention to politics, but my general beliefs and values are liberal again.

I’ve read your blog since 2010. It’s good for much more than lifting advice. Sorry for the fucking blogpost on your blog lol and my terrible, bland writing style.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  January 14, 2021
  
  Man, that’s cool to hear, and there’s nothing wrong with having made shitty decisions in the past so long as you’re trying to make better decisions going forward. Well, to a point, obviously, but it’s rad you figured out why you were getting into that shit and fixed it.
  
  Truth be told, I thought voting for Trump the first time was just a YOLO Murica move that was pretty harmless. I figured it would be a circus in a fun way, and we’d move on with life after four years, but I tend to overestimate the good in people, haha.
  
  And this article really wasn’t so much about politics as it was about the stereotype people will say to me while literally looking proof of exactly how dangerously incorrect they are standing in their face. The annoying branding is much of the reason I hate conservatives so much- I don’t care that they’re gun toting pussies provided they hide somewhere and shut the fuck up about it rather than screaming about their toughness while losing their toes one by one to the beetus, haha. That kind of incongruity drives me crazy, especially when it’s slandering the shit out of me. Additionally, I thought people might like to hear they weren’t the only “libertarian” who was only so because they didn’t want people to think they were a shitbag looking for a handout or a Stalinist. In the end, it’s just about not being a terrible person and enjoying yourself as much as possible without fucking up anyone else’s ability to do so than it is about politics- it just so happens that one’s political leanings seem to indicate one’s character and intellect as well.
  1. Anthony Moran
    
    January 15, 2021
    
    Thanks for the kind words. It means alot coming from someone I’ve looked up to for some time. I remember the fights I’d get in to with my girlfriend at the time over me reading C+P. She had small breasts and was extremely insecure about her body so when she saw me browsing your site with all the porn, she had an absolute meltdown hahaha.
    
    My grandparents are Republicans, they were my first and strongest exposure to right leaning people, they raised me after my dad passed so the bond we have is strong. I guess being around them, good people, made me more tolerant of republicans than most in the city. But mot all repubs are like them. They ran a bar in Brooklyn from the 50s-80s and they let anyone drink there. Openly gay guys, black people, etc, my grandparents treated them like human beings, ended up becoming long lasting friends with some of them. Theyre still some of the most accepting, welcoming, kind people I know. They’d get into fights with the Italians next door cause they’d be calling the Spanish kids playing ball with my brother spics and threatening them with machetes. I found out later they had portraits of Mussilini in their house lolol. They’re also not fat, my grandparents. The liberal part of my family had the weight problems. But they’re certainly not representative of the majority of Republicans or democrats. But yeah, after all this covid denial shit I can see how terrible and ignorant those people can be(not my grandparents though, they never bought that bullshit plandemic crap.) I was trying not to judge, after all I was one of them, but covid denialism made that hard. Seeing the freezer morgues outside the hospital will have that effect. I have met a Qtard irl (he was black, I found that odd). He went on a rambling monologue about how America is the best and Europeans wish they had it as good as us. As someone who’s been to the continent several times I had to bite my tongue from laughing in his face. Still though, I try not to hate anyone because that shadow is still in me, weaker now but if I feed it, it will come back, strip me of my newfound humanity and probably lead me to a relapse too.
    
    All that being said I’ve had friends from the South so I have a slight idea as to how bad it can be, being surrounded by ignorance and arrogance.
    
    As an aside, I got back into lifting in November after a 5+ year layoff and am hitting some surprisingly decent numbers. I recently read your Bev Francis articles and am gonna hit up her gym in a few weeks. Fucking psyched.
    1. Anthony Moran
      
      January 15, 2021
      
      Also I should clarify that I was straight up alt-right, though I started off believing in conservatism.
    2. Jamie Chaos
      
      January 18, 2021
      
      Racism was really interesting back in the day- it made so little sense you could hardly predict who would side with who. And rad! I’ve never trained there, so lemme know what you think. Long Island is the least convenient place to visit on the east coast, haha.
Gino Garcia

January 13, 2021

Speaking as someone born and raised in Northern California, I can attest to the Conservative bent that proliferates. Though my point doesnt really correlate with the article, it reminded me of some of the idiots I grew up with. As in, kids that loved skateboarding and punk rock in middle school inexplicably picking up a Southern drawl and a taste for pop-country in the Summer between middle school and high school. They believed that you could be turned homosexual by being exposed to either the saliva or blood of gays and lesbians, and now wear Grunt Style and Ranger Up near-exclusively, in spite of the fact that they’ve never served in any branch of the military. It’s incredible, really. I’ve some Conservative beliefs, but I’d loathe being compared to these shitstains in the same manner that I’d imagine Liberals hate being compared to extremist Antifa members.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  January 14, 2021
  
  While I do get your point on the Antifa comparison, I frankly don’t find Antifa all that terrible. They’re certainly a pain in the ass in Seattle and Portland, but they’re hardly evil racists with room temp IQs trying to overthrow the government, haha. Given a choice between being a college-educated public nuisance and a nearly retarded racist conspiracy theorist with more guns than inches to his bicep measurement, I’d choose the former.
  
  Luckily, we can choose to be rational people who are neither. I’m glad this didn’t put you off- maybe you’re more liberal than you think. WE HAVE YOU IN OUR CLUTCHES, GINO. 🤣
  
  The Indian dudes at Amazon here all rock the shit out of Grunt Style, because it’s cool-looking American shit, and they’re psyched to be here. If only those Northern Californian goofs could see that shit- they’d have a fucking stroke. And the great irony is, I’d bet those Indians are far better Americans than the rednecks of the Pacific Northwest.
Bill McFadden

January 14, 2021

Love listening to “Behind the Bastards” I don’t always agree with him though.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  January 19, 2021
  
  Those coffeeshop communists are hard for me to tolerate, but their hearts are at least mostly in the right place. I think. Their series on the cops was great to a point, but they missed the point I got out of it, which was HOLY SHIT THE 19TH CENTURY SUCKED. And most of the 20th. But we’ve come a long way, and there’s a lot to be proud of in spite of the fact there is still work to do. They’re a bit too fatalistic and pessimistic to be altogether accurate in their account of history for my taste. That’s why I shifted to Profiles in Eccentricity, haha. Now that is good fun, if you fast forward through their occasionally interminable intros (which I get, because they have to get their rhythm, but I think they should shop the intros way down unless they’re just blazing right out of the gate).
Dante

January 14, 2021

Thanks for the article. I was really hoping some of the stupidity would die down, once Biden one, but I guess that was too much to expect. I’m sometimes torn between who I’d consider the lesser evil, or rather, who I’d rather talk to or tolerate – extreme right, or left. I think coronavirus proved that there’s ample stupidity on both sides, for different reasons. While I’d like to think that education meant what it used to mean – a way of thinking, being, and experiencing – I have a hard time stomaching the modern products of education. Can’t help but to think that a chance in the perception and meaning has a strong influences on the outcome, and once education became ‘something one does/must do,’ even for your average reject, going through the paces didn’t necessarily produce an educated man or woman. Credentialed, sure – educated, not so sure (in general, especially now). Most people seem pretty comfortable following a checklist, without giving it much thought beyond that.

But, it’s hard to imagine an intelligent person being a conservative, jumping deep into the Bible and all that’s related with extreme conservative viewpoints. Liberalism will always correlate with raw intelligence. Intelligence is a mind open – but sometimes it seems like those who have the raw machinery in place don’t understand “garbage in, garbage out”; kind of a tyranny of the open mind, if unchecked or without some fundamental principle.

2020 just made me disappointed in people, all around, more than I already was.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  January 19, 2021
  
  Whew- you said it in that last sentence. And I truly agree about education. Education should be mostly self-driven. It is for me- people have always asked me how I knew such and thus for a paper or a test, and it’s because I learn compulsively. I don’t understand why other people don’t, but it is a major character flaw, in my mind. And that is what has lead to the bulk of my disappointment this year- people refuse to learn, refuse to think, and refuse to at least stay the fuck out of the way if they won’t do the first two.
  
  Sorry I took a min to approve this- I am getting hammered with spam and a couple comments got lost amidst cbd spam and Steve’s endless attempts to have another comment approved.
  1. Dante
    
    January 19, 2021
    
    All good!
Gino Garcia

January 14, 2021

Lol, good point on Antifa. I hate both groups equally, honestly, and, if pressed, couldnt choose between membership in either. Nor-Cal has a unique dichotomy politically. It’s not uncommon out here to see rallies between both groups breakout on a Sunday night. The Left views everyone as racist, and believes you must do all but castrate yourself if you’re white to “atone”, while the Right calls everyone a traitor, takes Q-Anon completely seriously, and trains with guns they can barely hold up due to their sub-bodyweight bench press. Even if you altered the question, and instead gave me the choice between which groups to fuck up, it would still be circumstantial, since I despise both so equally lol.

Lol, bro your writing would never put me off; It’s shaped me since 09. I wasnt offended by this regardless because I dont consider myself Conservative anymore, but more of a Centrist. Since I got out of the Navy and moved back home, I’ve reconnected with old friends that drew me towards Centrism as a whole through the lost, nearly deceased and forgotten art of rational discourse. If anything, my politics are best summed up by a quote from David Draiman of Disturbed.

“I’m liberal about everything that is issue-based as far as ideology, but I’m also of the opinion of a very small government. I don’t agree with the fiscal policies of the Democrats, but I certainly don’t agree with the right-wing craziness of the Republicans.”

Lastly, regarding Grunt Style and Ranger Up, it’s like a giant in-joke that they were founded by Veterans, because within the community at large, wearing either instantly earns you the derogatory epithet Bro-Vet. That explains why I was so averse to wearing them lol, but when I got home and saw guys that I graduated with over a decade ago wearing them as their entire fucking wardrobe, driving lifted trucks and screaming about the fucking boogaloo, I knew I was completely finished with the main Right. They’re just as bad with their enmity and unmitigated hatred of immigrants as Antifa is with white people. Two types of racism, same side of the coin.
Rupert Pupkin

January 16, 2021

The most offensive part about this article is the misspelling of “Guiana” as “Guinea. ”

I spent a few days in French Guiana during my travels around South America, and I’d probably want to kill myself if I lived there. The chaos and disorganization of South America/ the Caribbean combined with the prices of Paris. And the beaches aren’t even that nice.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  January 18, 2021
  
  Hahaha. According to Wiki, it’s light years better than it was when I was in college. And FUCK! I don’t think I have ever in my life chosen correctly on Guyana/Guinea/French Guiana, but given that they all seem to be horrible I don’t feel all that badly about it. I honestly cannot imagine why anyone would go there- were you on a mission or something?
Sterling Cena

January 17, 2021

What a load of bollocks this post was. Lewis, you’re only liberal because Republicans don’t approve (rightly so) of your bisexual fag lifestyle. You represent everything that’s wrong with the US right now, and your dumbass stupid ‘conservative = racist’ shit that cock suckers like you constantly espouse just goes to show how thick you are. Go back to playing with your steroids, roidy boy, the real men will work towards cleaning up this mess and getting the country back in order again (ie, conservative).
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  January 18, 2021
  
  Hahaha. Way to ignore those statistics! Too much reading for you? And feel free to talk that fly shit at a meet champ- I’ll fuck you till you love me.
2. Joshua
  
  January 24, 2021
  
  Sally? Rant? Is that you?