Plague of Strength

-Benjamin Franklin

Keto Day 8, 1 Day Post Cheat

Well shit…

Planning ahead would be a FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC thing. I woke up at 6:40 this morning to cat teeth in my toe, and the dawning horror of a completely jacked up kitchen and not having any food for lunch. We have all had those weekends. We have the BEST plans, we go grocery shopping for everything we need, we lay down on the couch and our asses somehow grow roots.

When I say we grocery shopped, the local Acme was having the sale to end all sales on meat and we stocked the fuck up. Why? Cause you never know when that meat shoved in the freezer is going to come in handy. More on this later.

So what the fuck is a girl (or guy) to do?

Well… Get your ass in the kitchen, down some coffee, and try to think fucking fast (or just use this recipe). In my case I knew I had over an hour to get everything together and still get to work on time, so I knew I could do something more heavy duty so I could have meals for 2-3 days. Lets call it…

One Pan Oh Fuck! Keto Chicken and Sausage Bake

• 1.5 lbs Chicken Thighs
• 2 lbs Italian Sausage (I used sweet cause Jamie is an asshole and used all the spicy)
• Seasoning to taste, I generally use Pink Salt (cause it’s pink and I’m a girl! DUH! /sarcasm), black pepper and a fuckload of garlic

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F, and get a oven safe high sided pan on the stove. Crank that puppy to high so it gets scorching hot. While your pan is heating, season the skin side of the chicken thighs.

Place the thighs skin side down in the pan, turn the heat to Medium Hight and cook for 5-7 minutes. You want the skin brown and crispy, not black and charred so you probably will need to check one or two of them during that time.

Flip them over let them cook for a minute or 2, and place your sausage on top of them.

Place your pan in the oven for 25 minutes.

After 25 min check the sausage for doneness. if it isn’t done, throw it in the oven for another 5-10 min.

If the sausage IS done, remove it from the pan, and put the pan back in the oven for another 15 minutes, or until the thighs are fully cooked.

Put aside the juice in the pan to boost chicken stock or bone broth.

Yeah, I know. It is a bit of a brain dead recipe, but most peoples brains aren’t at their peak in a panic. In my case, it also takes me a little bit to wake up and start functioning at a normal level. And you would be amazed the number of my friends who could be on Worst Cooks in America.

Keto Day Friday – IT’S CHEAT DAY MOTHERFUCKERS!

I am seriously not sure where this week went. Between getting the merch together for the online store, having to go to a couple job sites for the day job, getting a PILE of old bank statements dumped on me for a side gig, having a workout with one of Jamie’s friends and my refusal to take hypnos for some stupid reason, this week snuck right past me. The fact it is cheat day made my Friday.

Any how enough about how the first thing I did today was shove french toast in my face like I hadn’t eaten in WEEKS. Back to talking about keto, and how to survive it is you are not flush with funds…

1. Find Sales – Yeah, sounds self explanatory, but Jamie and I went to Acme Saturday, and were shocked that chicken was buy one, get two free. Plus this particular super market has “Four for $20” boxes. I have heard of other stores that have five for $20. The benefit of that sale is you get a mixture of stuff, and each package is at least a pound. If you get sale circulars in your mail, take a quick glance at them before you toss them into the recycling (which by the way I don’t do because they annoy me). Hell, I am a HUGE fan and have been for a while of raiding the “scratch and dent” section and the managers special meat. As long as you cook or freeze the meat THAT day, you can get some amazing cuts of meat for below dirt cheap.
2. Buy extra and freeze it – If you find a killer deal on meat, buy as much as you can. We have stretched our budget ($100 a week for food, not counting our Bang and Diet soda habit) a couple times, and gone without stuff we wanted in order to stock up. And let me tell you, it has saved our asses more than once when we have gotten too busy and neglected to go to the grocery store.
3. Check out Discount Grocery Stores, Warehouse Stores and Club Stores – I love Aldi. I walk in there and I am happy. Why? Because I have shopped there for so long that having 57 choices of sandwich cookie brands kind of overwhelms me. It seems silly and wasteful. So there are a lot of items I prefer to buy from Aldi or the like. Frozen & fresh vegetables, milk, butter, etc. are generally significantly cheaper, and the meat quality is damn good. BUT, you need to be aware of general prices for stuff, because something like Diet Coke is more expensive there. The same goes for any store. Informed decisions are always the way to go.

All the above pictures were made with sale stuff including the veggies.

Now for the most awesome part of cheat day. Jamie and I are HUGE fans of Guy Fieri. I think we have seen at least 75% of the Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives episodes, and 95% of the episodes of Guys Grocery Games. Now, what people DON’T know is we live within about 25 miles of one of the restaurants that was featured on Triple D. I have personally been to the Vincentown Diner a good half dozen times, and had been promising Jamie I would take him there. Well, this weekend we celebrated there, with my adult daughter for her birthday. I had the Mile-high Meatloaf, and Jamie had Chicken Tenders.

Keto Day Whatever… (Aka: So much for weekly posts)

I know we are 2 cheat days in (I guess 3rd week or so), and aside from getting another Office Stomach Plague, I feel smaller, most of my clothes are fitting looser, and most importantly, a chunk of my flare symptoms are reducing slowly. My joints are not as swollen by the end of the day, and I can move better. I’d LOVE to say I am symptom free, but… I pretty much constantly feel like someone has taken a bat to my joints. So I will take what I can get and be happy.

The major change this week, is the addition of more veggies. I have been craving green shit like you would not believe. When Jamie and I get wings I order extra celery, and house the celery before the wings practically. I am beginning to think that I am just one of those people who needs veggies for essential nutrients, rather than just supplements. I’d love to say the three pieces of broccoli were due to my adherence to keto, but… they just didn’t survive long enough to make it into the picture.

I’m beginning to think Jamie is just weird, and he is the only person in the world who could live on a strictly protein diet. Now, before you call the Keto Cops on me, check out the carb/fat/protein split of that salad.

Not bad for no meat, cheese, or eggs. Where there is a will there is a way. Now… the search is on for keto croutons or something that will take the place of them.

Liked it? Take a second to support Tara Chaos on Patreon!