*Gymless Training… Say WHAT?

Jamie Chaos

January 17, 2010

In the spirit of writing shit that you guys think is the antithesis of my training methodology (i.e. Jack LaLanne), I’ve decided to answer the 10 or so questions about gymless training I’ve received all in one. First, I do not recommend that you conduct all of your training in or out of the gym. There’s plenty of opportunity to do both, irrespective of where you live. As such, I suggest that you try to incorporate some of both into your training. For those who are training in gyms, these are great methods to utilize on deload days (the D-block days in Exercises in Extremity), times you’re on the road or otherwise estranged from the gym, or any other reason your ass isn’t in the gym pushing massive amounts of weight. For those who don’t have access to a gym, or who can’t afford one, here’s a way to get some serious shit accomplished until you can get to a place where you can lift some iron.

There’s basically two ways you can go with gymless training:

bodyweight workouts
improvised equipment.

Both have their place, though the improvised equipment will likely bring better results, both in terms of strength and size, than will bodyweight shit. If you hit the bodyweight shit hard enough, though, and your diet’s tight, you can get pretty fucking impressive results.

For instance, Herschell Walker is a massive advocate, and pretty much the world’s greatest example, of what bodyweight training alone can do for you. Walker claimed to have achieved the majority of his physique by bodyweight training alone (though I distinctly recall reading somewhere that he was forced to start lifting weights upon entering the NFL), that consisted primarily of pushups, pullups, dips, and sprints. Walker claims to have done 2,000 pushups, 3,000 situps, and 1,500 pullups six times a week, without fail, for the entirety of his career, with a mixed bag of other shit thrown in on top for good measure. This type of training is also utilized by gymnasts, who achieve fairly impressive physiques, outstanding body control, and decent strength, and they also insist that consistency is king.

If you want to mix this style of training in with your weight routine, I recommend it on D-block days, wherein I typically keep my rep ranges in the 300-500s, as I’d rather not burn myself out for the heavy lifting with a bunch of dips and pullups.

Playing Cards

In the past, I would occasionally train in a similar fashion, especially when watching Rocky 3 or 4 with a buddy of mine. He and I would typically utilize a standard deck of playing cards, assigning different variations of standard bodyweight exercises like pullups and pushups to each suit. Thus, for instance, a Jack of Diamonds would be 11 diamond pushups. We made queens =12, kings =13, and aces=14, and would make the other suits all sorts of crazy nonsense, ranging from Dive-Bombers (or if you’re a douche like Matt Furey, Hindu Press-ups) to handstand pushups, finger pushups, one arm pushups, and clapping pushups, and then make the black cards variations on the situp theme, including flutterkicks, scissors, and 6 inches, usually for time or fourcounts rather than straight reps. That was an enjoyable way to waste a Saturday afternoon when there wasn’t shit to do and it was raining outside.

Whatever you do, don’t buy that Perfect Pushup bullshit. Instead, save your money for a home gym or a gym membership, or if you’re really feeling crazy, invest in a TRX suspension system and swing around your garage like a mucking monkey. The TRX is fun to use, is awesome for traveling, and gives you the opportunity to do some ring training every now and again.

For other ideas about bodyweight training, consult sources like Ross Enamait, Pavel Tsatsouline, or any number of bodyweight training books in the Golden Age of Iron Men site, which has a bunch of awesome books on handbalancing. Just promise to use that knowledge for good rather than evil- i.e., C&P hooligans will fucking hunt you down and stab you if we see a pic of you doing random handstands in public places.

Anyone but this broad is getting stabbed for public handstands.

Actually, she’s getting stabbed, too. No public handstands.

Unconventional Training

If you want to go the other route, there’s plenty of sources from which you can draw. Oldtime strongmen, like the ones chronicled in the Golden Age of Strong Men site, utilized all sorts of unconventional equipment like kegs and sandbags, and there’s some good training material on that site. If you’re going to look elsewhere, I recommend Dinosaur Training by Brooks Kubik, or you can peruse the works of Evan-Esh and others. If you want ideas on how to actually construct the equipment (sanbags, etc.) read Dino training, Rock, Iron, Steel, by Steve Justa, or just about any strongman site on the internet. The google machine is your friend. I personally used an Army surplus duffel bag filled with 150 lbs of sand and ducktaped all to fucking hell when I mad my own ‘bag. Irrespective of the source (even Justa), this shit is manly, and will put hair on your chest- if it worked for pre-gear strongmen, it’ll work for you.

Some suggested exercises:

Clean and Press: The clean will end up being more of a continental than a clean, but let’s not quibble, shall we? For those of you who are unaware, the continental is the method by which lifters from continental Europe (primarily the Germans) shouldered a weight. Being Germans, they did it in the most painful manner possible, which was essentially to yank the weight up onto their belt and then roll the fucking thing up onto their chest, whereupon they would press it. In any event, with either a sandbag, log, or keg, clean and press it with the same general set and rep scheme as you’d use for regular Clean and Press. A word of caution, however- you won’t be handling the same kind of weights, and your hands will be the first thing to give out.

If you use a duffel bag, don’t use the fucking handles. It defeats the entire purpose, and you’ll look like this douche.

Clean and Carry: Just like you’d think. You clean and either shoulder or bearhug the keg or bag and carry it for distance. Alternatively, you can carry it up stairs, though I do not recommend that with kegs, for obvious, tibia-shattering, reasons.

Don’t let this Aussie broad be more of a man than you.

Clean, Press, and Squat: Clean and press the thing to your back, then squat for reps. When you’re done, just dump it, and jump way the fuck out of the way if you’re using a keg.

Only a Crossfitter or certain shit-talkers on Irongarmx would bother squatting 80 lbs.

Other unconventional out-of-gym things with which to train:

Weighted wheelbarrow
Sledgehammer
Truck tires

One more idea:

One summer in high school, I worked at a nursery (plants, not babies, you fucking jackasses), and I discovered a little-used alcove in the lumber section. I liberated some 4×6″ lumber and cinder blocks and built a bench, using the blocks as plates. I had a pretty good time sneaking in there and getting in quick 20 minute lifts, mostly doing bench, overhead presses, and curls. If you have lumber handy, it’s worth trying, though I highly recommend the use of leather work gloves while lifting, as the horrifyingly large splinter factor is alarmingly high with that shit.

There you have it. As it’s still weight lifting, there’s not a hell of a lot you should do to complicate it. Don’t overthink it, for fuck’s sake, just do it. For those of you who are looking for a more Cirque du Soleil/gymnast look with the corresponding body control, I have no fucking idea why you’re reading this blog, but stick with the former style of exercise.

Should you wish for a bore rugged psyique, and a fuckload more strength, I recommend a mixture of the two types, with an emphasis on the latter style.

For the rest of you, it’s something to consider on those days you don’t feel like hitting the iron, but feel like doing something.

Give em hell, boys.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

31 responses to “*Gymless Training… Say WHAT?”

Dray

January 17, 2010

Having gotten on for a moment and noticing this by chance, I can't help but think that I may or may not have helped to inspire it…

That said I'm going to go do handstands all over town just to piss you off. I'll have my training partners read this and Dino Training through. I'm also going to do hindu pushups just to piss you off. On my fists. With no added weight.

Also, ironically I had the idea of a deck of cards program for when I start off with the barbell. The general idea is that a regular program is way too fucking boring for me to bother with, ever, so I take a deck of cards and each suit has it's own types of movements. Aces and jokers both are set workouts designed to completely destroy someone so that they can't lift heavy for a week. Something very catastrophic. My deck has four jokers so I really like the idea.
Anonymous

January 17, 2010

Jamie- This is my first time trying a keto diet as you described throughout your posts. Ive been doing a Keto run for the past 5 days with 4lbs of chicken wings a day (My next run I'm going to try ground beef) I am looking to include a moderate carb day today without the cheat meal. My question is what do you eat on amodertae carb day? Do I stay away from the wings and eat a few regular meals?
Jamie Lewis

January 17, 2010

Hahaha. I love the enthusiasm, Dray. Interesting idea about the deck of cards. you may be onto something.

In re the keto thing, you want your carbs and fat to be inversely proportional. Thus, if you're high fat, you're correspondingly low carb, and vice versa. you could even go with more of a zone type ratio, just so long as your protein stays HIGH, and you're still eating 6-10 meals a day (I usually settle around 7 or 8).
Anonymous

January 17, 2010

Thanks for quick response. Just so I understand this correctly you typically do 5 day keto runs a week with 2 day carb ups. What kind of food do you recomend on the carb up days? (I'm not talking about cheat meals) Is there any kind of food that we should be staying away from?
BTW – In the week that I have been following the C&P training philosophy I've PR'd in my Squat, DL and push press. In fact my old 1rm BTN PP was 225lbs. I just killed it Friday for 10×3.
Jamie Lewis

January 17, 2010

That's fucking awesome, man! As for the carbups, unless it was part of the cheat window, I stick to pretty much regular food- nothing too sugary, etc.

Yesterday, for instance, I made lowfat bisquick biscuits with turkey sausage for breakfast, had a bowl of rice and double chicken from Chipotle, a chicken schwarama with hot sauce and nothing else, a half pound of italian chicken sausage, and two protein shakes.
Anonymous

January 17, 2010

Great Thanks. In regards to PR's etc. My current DL max is now 435 (was 425). Lets see how long it takes me to get 500. With the amount of leg and pulling work involved I dont think it will take too long.
Anonymous

January 17, 2010

Also – Just to make sure I dont fuck any of this up. What kind of protein shakes do you recomend on Keto days and what kind do you recomend on carb up days?
Jamie Lewis

January 17, 2010

I like blended proteins. The exact type doesn't really matter.
Dray

January 17, 2010

I don't know, I sort of like to think of using whey as just tossing bolts of any type you found in a drawer at your car to tune up the engine and hoping it starts shitting gold.
Mike

January 18, 2010

Found your site a couple weeks ago, it motivated me pretty well seeing as how I'm going to be competing light (18 yrs, 165lbs at 5ft8).
What was your average BW before you started hitting the weights hard?
At what point did you start to feel like your BW needed to increase for your lifts to do the same?

Kinda dry, haha, but I'm wondering where I could get my total by june (1RMs are hovering around: Squat 315, Deadlift 365, Bench 210). I'm shooting for 350, 450, and 250, staying at around the same BW.
Jamie Lewis

January 18, 2010

I was 130 lbs when i first started. As to your progression, I honestly have no idea. That's a very difficult thing to predict- anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. That'd be like trying to predict the weather 6 moths in advance, haha. As to the bodyweight question, not really. Strength doesn't really increase proportionately with bodyweight.
Spencer

January 18, 2010

Jamie,

Although I agreed with the premise of your blog, I was sorely disappointed with the contents. If you want to be fit, you should primarily do bodyweight exercises (like walking) and only occaisionally do weights (like light curls).

Stay safe,
Spence

zenworkout.blogspot.com
Anonymous

January 18, 2010

Jamie, you should really just erase his comments since they are bunk anyway. No sense in letting him advertise through your page. Besides, turnabout is fair play.
Jamie Lewis

January 18, 2010

What's life without a little controversy? haha. Spence is suffering from overindulgence in estrogen, and needs help. Plus, he's fucking hilarious.
Anonymous

January 18, 2010

People need to get their asses out there and do this kinda thing – (it's you, Jamie, FYI)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFdpi1c-KYw
Glen MacCharles

January 19, 2010

Those deadlifts were nice but you should have taken more advantage of the "bounce" that those tires would have provided (assuming it was within the rules to do so).

Here, let me show you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clQ0-p_bGm8
That's how it's done, kids.
JW

January 19, 2010

LMAO at Spence. Twinkfit!
Scott ON

January 19, 2010

Spence is a idiot.

Nice lifts guys, gotta say that was quick thinking MacCharles 🙂
Anonymous

January 20, 2010

Scott,
John here. You were able to insert a grammatical error in a four word sentence, the thrust of which is – someone else is an idiot.

What the hell are we supposed to do with that man?
Doug Graves

January 20, 2010

Ha ha! Jamie you've created an army of hard training grammar nazis!
Anonymous

January 20, 2010

Jamie creating grammar nazi's? HAHA No. He can barely muddle through himself!
Scott

January 20, 2010

John, You've got good eyes!
However as long as my points clear I don't see it as a big issue.
Rob Russell

January 20, 2010

Been reading Chaos and Pain for some time now and must say I thoroughly enjoy your rugged and blunt honest style. Great information keep it coming. Anyways cheers man
Rob
Jamie Lewis

January 20, 2010

Werd. I shall!

And fuck you, anonymous! I am the grand world champion of grammar nazidom, when I'm reading the work of others!
Anonymous

January 21, 2010

WTF – Its been almost a week without a new post. Where the fuck is the forum??
Your fuking falling off….
Anonymous

January 21, 2010

Hey Rob Russell…there are easier ways to ask a man out on a date than following his blog then forcing the words "rugged," "coming," and "man" into your first written interaction with him.

Just sayin'
Anonymous

January 21, 2010

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha priceless.
Rob Russell

January 21, 2010

On the 5 fucking essential lifts post Anonymous said…

You are a breath of fresh air, C & P, love the blog

My gayness was inspired by your good self! Nice one
Anonymous

January 21, 2010

Jamie, what happened to the blog entry that was there early a.m. today? (Thurs) "Risk vs Reward" etc.? It looked real good, I skimmed it and wanted to read it in more detail.
Come on, you can't do that to us!
Isaac Ohman

January 22, 2010

Good lord. That ZenTraining site had me reeling.
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