Plague of Strength

*What, Exactly, Is Ideal? Part Deux.

Jamie Chaos

This is what real men look like, in my opinion. This is a pic of a bunch of guys training at Matt Kroczaleski’s house, and they look like hard motherfuckers.

You might have a different opinion of what makes up ideal. For my purposes, however, there’s nothing better than being able to flip a car nonchalantly, and then rip off your shirt and display your abdominal vascularity to the delight (or horror) of random passers-by.

Certainly, based on your goals, you’re going to have different opinions of what’s ideal. If you’re a bodybuilder who’s all show and no go, you might like the looks of a wasp-waisted Frank Zane. The man certainly was ripped, but he also did a hell of a lot of yoga, which is how his penis turned into a overly-large clitoris. Tragic story, really.

No one’s fooled by that balled-up pair of socks in your trunks, Frank.

Maybe you’re more into the power-bodybuilder look- guys like Jimmy “The Iron Bull” Pellechia, or Branch Warren, the guy from the Animal Pak ads, or Johnnie Jackson. Definitely a cool look, and nice to see that those guys can actually move some weight. Not my deal, however- I get bored doing lots of reps, and I’d rather do shots of bleach than sets of cable crossovers. Nevertheless, respect goes out to those guys, in my eyes, and I try to incorporate a bit of their training into my style.
Since much of my inspiration comes from comic books, however, and I’m practically a midget, I’m gonna have to go fantastical on your asses and say MY personal ideal is:

Not the pussy Hugh Jackman Wolverine, either, but straight up, 5’3″, 220 lbs, all traps and forearms Wolvie.

Train how you want to look. Just try not to look like Hugh Jackman.

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Jamie Chaos Avatar
Jamie Chaos
I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

4 responses to “*What, Exactly, Is Ideal? Part Deux.”

  1. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Animal Pak guy looks like he has plates in his legs. It looks dumb.

  2. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    I don’t know why it didn’t print my 2nd comment … I prefer the guys at the top – they look awesome!

  3. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Krac needs to cut the lawn. NOW!!!

  4. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    If Animal Pak guy looks like he has plates in his legs, the I want to find out where I can get some plates. Until then Squatz.

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