Abraxas Invocation: Junk Food for Gainz. Part One: The Inimitable Value of Fritos, Oreos, and Peanut Butter Crackers.

Ho! Sax, Amun, Sax, Abrasax; for thou art the moon, the chief of the stars, he that did form them, listen to the things that I have said, follow the words of my mouth, reveal thyself to me, Than, Thana, Thanatha, otherwise Thei, this is my correct name.

Yelling the above statement at the moon is said to invoke Abraxas, should you find yourself so inclined.

Abraxas is a badass chicken-headed, dualistic primordial deity venerated by ancient Egyptians, the ancient Persians, the Gnostics, ancient Syrians (who actually placed him above Yahweh as their supreme deity for some time), and even the psychiatrist Carl Jung. Considered by many cultures to be humanity’s supreme deity, his name is said to replace that of the unspeakable name of the god of the Christian Bible, although the Canaanites seem to have merged Abraxas and Yahweh at some point. Frankly, I’m not a theologian and really don’t give a fuck about the history of Judeo-Christian mysticism (though hilariously, neither do they)- just take it as a fact that Abraxas is considered by a lot of people over a long period of time to be the unmitigated shit.

The name “Abraxas” is a mystic word made up of Greek letters that has no etymological root in a known language. Also known as “Abrasax,” which may have been the earlier spelling, the word has magical power as well. According to Atlanti-obssessed historian and antiquarian Sir Godfrey Higgins, “the word Abrasax was a corruption of on an ancient Egyptian word – a magical incantation meaning hurt me not” (Geller). The word is also the root for every kid magician’s favorite word, “Abracadabra,” which has been a term in common usage for centuries as a “term or formula used in folklore magic, an incantation against inflammation and fever,” and the prefix “abra” means “with my words I can make this happen” (Ibid).

According to demonology, Abraxas is a bit more of a prankster than the previous sources indicated. Like the ancient peoples believed, Abraxas is dualistic, and this means that anytime he is invoked, one should “beware lies of omission and hidden truths,” as he is both good and evil, benevolent and malevolent. Thus, when I pulled an Abraxas card when trying to determine an angle for this article, I realized I was on top of my chaos magic game, because an article on the benefits of junk food could conceivably contain both hidden truths and lies of omission.

Lest you worry that this entire article is going to be bullshit, however, worry not- according to an ancient text called On the Prescription of Heretics (De praescriptione haereticorum), a second-century heretic named Basilides claimed “that there is a supreme Deity, by name Abraxas, by whom was created Mind, which in Greek he calls Nous; that thence sprang the Word; that of Him issued Providence, Virtue, and Wisdom” (Davidson 8). In short- even if I was a thrall of some demonic spirit, you’d still be getting a shitload of truth and some glossing over of the bad shit, but I revel in the bad, so I’ll just hit you with the forbidden knowledge you crave.

With that, I’m hitting you with a couple of my ultimate junk foods and the myriad ways their occasional inclusion improves your lives, in addition to a snack food that is a recent favorite and seems to be conferring gainz.

Fritos

Fritos are the stuff of life. They are golden delicious fried salt slicks that delight the palate and fill the gut with ancestors of the wild teosintes of the New World. A testament to American ingenuity, they stand as a bulwark against starvation and sensible eating habits, though in an era of rampant obesity they no longer serve as the paragon of indulgent eating and epicurianism they once did. Were he alive today, Epicurus, the anti-Stoic, hedonist (in the ancient rather than the modern sense) philosopher of ancient Greece would have probably not delighted in this mouth-watering American snack, as he believed that the greatest good in life was intellectual pleasure pleasure rather than earthly pleasures, but it’s relative certainty that Anton LaVey loved Fritos, and that Aleister Crowley would have managed to incorporate them in sex rituals due to their almost other worldly decadence.

The history of Fritos is literally nothing like what you’d expect, but it lends credence to my supposition that Fritos can, in fact, be an awesome addition to your diet. Brace yourself for this- the progenitor of the Frito, a corn chip so calorically dense it is essentially a culinary neutron and so sodium-filled it makes salt shakers seem like Mrs. Dash by comparison, was in fact a health nut. The man responsible for the proliferation of this salty manna was Charles Elmer Doolin, who bought the the recipe for fried corn chips from a man selling them out of a gas station.  He’d responded to an ad that listed the delectable, crunchy goodness that was to become the Frito along with an adapted potato ricer the inventor had used to make them, along with the man’s nineteen retail accounts. Doolin bought the small business venture for $100 (about $1900 in 2019 dollars) in 1932 and enlisted his entire family to help produce chips in his mother’s kitchen. 

Doolin, a vegetarian health fanatic who was the treasurer of the American Health Foods Association and an avid follower of naturopath quack Dr. Herbert M. Shelton, the man who popularized fasting in the US. When he wasn’t investing his time in quackery and health fads, Doolin was tinkering and tweaking, inventing new equipment to improve the production of the chips and make the final product even more delicious. Doolin went so far as to experimenting with the hybridization of a corn unique to the Fritos chip and designed each piece of equipment in the Fritos plant. A consummate workaholic, Doolin toiled endlessly on Fritos, and left copious notes recorded on tape from his long hours, dictating his thoughts as he tinkered.  The end result was the Fritos chips we know and love today, which he designed as a side dish and a cooking ingredient rather than a snack food. When they were eaten at home, Doolin brought fresh made, unsalted chips for his family to eat, as the sodium-rich end product didn’t meet his fastidious adherence to healthy eating- his kids were some of the first in the country to eat yogurt as a part of their bag lunch rather than the typical meat-and-potatoes fare of the day.

At the time of Doolin’s death in 1959, his Frito Company produced over 40 products, had plants in 18 cities, employed over 3,000 people, and had sales in 1958 in excess of $50 million. Fritos were being sold all over the world, but Doolin’s focus remained on the US- he planned a chain of Tex-Mex restaurants that would have sold both burgers and tacos that very well might have crushed McDonalds, which was still in its nascency, and predated Del Taco and Taco Bell by half a decade. Tragically, that never happened, but you can get a glimpse of what Doolin might have envisioned by walking into a Taco Bell, which does utilize Doritos (Doolin invented those and Cheetos as well) and is known as one of the healthiest fast food restaurants on Earth.

But enough history and onto the nutrition. The basic macro breakdown is 55% fat, 40% carbs, and 5% protein. It’s not going to win an award as a stand-alone food, but it wasn’t designed as one- it’s a side dish or an ingredient.

Serving Size– 10 chips / 18 Servings
Calories– 160 / 2880
Total Fat– 10g / 180g
Saturated Fat– 1.5g
Trans Fat– 0g
Cholesterol– 0mg
Sodium– 110mg / 1980mg
Potassium– 0mg
Total Carbohydrate– 16g / 288g
Dietary Fiber– 1g / 18g
Sugars– 0g
Protein– 2g / 36g

Ingredients: Whole Corn, Corn Oil, Salt, Whey, Spices, Cheddar Cheese (Cultured Milk, Salt, Enzymes), Whey Protein Concentrate, Wheat Flour, Tomato Powder, Monosodium Glutamate, Sodium Caseinate, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Romano Cheese From Cow’s Milk (Cultured Pasteurized Part Skim Milk, Salt, Enzymes), Dextrose, Onion Powder, Sugar, Natural Flavor, Butter (Cream, Salt), Disodium Phosphate, Buttermilk Solids, Citric Acid, Garlic Powder, Artificial Colors, Lactic Acid, Disodium Inosinate, and Disodium Guanylate.

Looking a little closer, you’ll notice that most of the fat is polyunsaturated, which is awesome, because eating them in place of say, sugar or high fructose corn syrup, reduces that evil LDL cholesterol and improves your overall cholesterol profile. It also lowers triglycerides, which lead to heart disease and could be a sign of metabolic syndrome. Given that Fritos are 55% fats and almost entirely in the form of polyunsaturated, you’re in good stead- less chance of metabolic syndrome and better cholesterol.

There is partially hydrogenated soybean oil in Fritos, which sucks, because that means trans fats, and trans fats are no bueno. The fat version of HFCS, they keep food from spoiling, but at the cost of lowering your HDL cholesterol and creating inflammation linked to heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and other chronic conditions, and the contribute to insulin resistance, which increases the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. “For every 2% of calories from trans fat consumed daily, the risk of heart disease rises by 23% (Truth). Tragically, we don’t know how much in the way of trans fats are in Fritos, because under .5g per serving they don’t have to be listed. Thus, erring on this high side, you’re looking at 7.2g of trans fats, which is 2.25% of the calories in a bag of Fritos. As no one on Earth would suggest you subsist solely on Fritos, even adding a couple of chicken breasts to your daily calories should get below 2%, if my .4g of trans fats upper-end guess is correct.

The super cool thing about Fritos is due to the fact that the majority of the calories come from polyunsaturated fats, the carbs are low, and the sugar is nil, this shit is basically just gainz in a bag when you add it to whatever you eat while bulking. The trans fat issue is manageable, and calories iz calories after you meet your body’s metabolic needs for protein- they’re just mass. And even people in studies who don’t lift and eat like those ham planets on My 600 Pound Life have weight gain that is at worst equal amounts of fat and muscle and often a 2:1 ratio of muscle to fat (Forbes, Jebb).  This is due to marked increases in IGF-1, testosterone, and insulin, provided your body composition isn’t dogshit at the outset and your test levels are at least average.

Like I said, Doolin never envisioned Fritos as the backbone of your meal- just an ingredient. that’s where Ree Drummond, the hyper-rich hillbilly chef comes in. That broad and her husband may own half of Oklahoma, but she still seems to cook for the family, and she makes some banging white trash food. Enter the Fritos Pie, a chili dish that will help you pack on mass this winter like you’re Kai Greene after discovering GH.

Pioneer Woman Fritos Chili Pie

I’ve no idea how much of this would constitute a serving for a normal person and don’t care- in my house, a serving is a half pound of meat, motherfucker. Add extra Fritos if you want, because I think this was supposed to be eight servings for normal fatass Americans and they would use twice as many Fritos as I calculated for this recipe. Given the fairly dope macros, you might want to just stick with what I’ve got, however- you can make the meat as lean as 93% if you drain and rinse it before adding the tomato sauce, which would get it closer to exactly isocaloric if that’s what you’re aiming for (and it’s a solid recipe goal, frankly).

Ingredients

• 2 pounds Ground Chuck
• 3 cloves Garlic, Minced (optional)
• 1 can (12-14 Oz. Size) Tomato Sauce
• 1 can (10 Ounce) Ro-tel (diced Tomatoes And Chilies)
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1 teaspoon Ground Oregano
• 1 Tablespoon Ground Cumin
• 2 Tablespoons Chili Powder (more To Taste)
• 1 can (14-ounce) Kidney Beans, Drained And Rinsed
• 1 can (14-ounce) Pinto Beans, Drained And Rinsed
• 1/4 cup Masa (corn Flour) Or Regular Corn Meal
• 1/2 cup Warm Water
• Individual Bags Of Fritos
• Grated Sharp Cheddar Cheese
• Diced Red Onion (Optional)

Directions

• Brown ground chuck with garlic in a pot over medium-high heat.
• Add tomato sauce, Rotel, salt, oregano, cumin, and chili powder.
• Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 30 minutes. 
• Add drained and rinsed beans. Stir to combine, then cover and simmer for another 20 minutes. 
• Mix masa with water, then add to the chili. Stir to combine and simmer for a final 10 to 15 minutes. Set aside. 
• Serve by slicing the Frito bags open lengthwise. Pile in chili and cheese, and diced onion if using [though with four servings, either throw the Fritos in a bowl and pile the other shit on it and mix, or use a big grab of Fritos, which will change your macros, but fuck it- you’re bulking]. Serve immediately with plastic forks. 

Fritos Pie Nutrition

Calories– 968
Total Fat– 38.9g
Saturated Fat- 11.7g
Cholesterol– 140mg
Sodium– 914mg
Total Carbohydrate– 88g (68.8g Net Carbs)
Dietary Fiber– 19.2g
Total Sugars– 7.9g
Protein– 65.2g

Once you adjust for net carbs (you subtract the fiber from total carbs), the meal is damn near isocaloric. As I’ve said previously, I think an isocaloric approach is best for bulking if you want to avoid getting fat as fuck, and even if you eat a couple of these bowls in a day, you can balance out your daily calories with a couple of shakes made with Fairlife milk. In short- Fritos can turn your bulk into a badass mealtime and keep you from getting the beetus.

Not too shabby.

Oreos

In the history of mass-produced, baked confections, few if any have a claim to the title of greatest moreso than the Oreo. Arguably a health hazard, these little tuxedo-colored cookies tell the world that you’re formal, but you like to party, and that you’re not above ending the evening with a creamy white substance in and around your mouth. It is the ultimate in guilty pleasure snacks for both fat people and real humans alike, and even animals love them- they have some delicious bootleg Oreos for dogs that taste a little garlicky and are made with carob (which is disgusting, but fuck it- it’s a tasty dog treat).

In a fascinating twist, America’s best selling cookie is a fucking knockoff of what everyone always considered to be the welfare recipients’ version of our favorite cookie, the Hydrox. Hydrox cookies, which are crunchier and less sweet, originated 111 years ago and quickly became the beloved cookie of the American Northeast. Acting like they were modern-day Chinese engineers ripping off American tech, the Nabisco company put its food engineers to work to make a slightly better version, and they released the Oreo in 1912. This delectable little sandwich cookie boasted a creamy center between what amounts to two chocolate-flavored crackers,and due to the fact it was sweeter and better marketed, Oreo became the cookie everyone wanted.

Though this might seem ironic given my emphasis on the low-sugar aspects of the Fristos and their diabetes-prevention properties, sugar does have its place in anabolism. Before we get into that, however, here’s a nutritional breakdown of the Oreo. Bear in mind the Oreo was designed specifically by a manufactured foods processor as a desert, so this food is entirely unlike Fritos- there wasn’t a health food aficionado within screaming distance of this snack’s creation- instead it was blood thirsty sharks of industry helming a team of team of culinary Thomas Edisons (invention thieves, if you’re unaware of Edison’s reputation).

A serving for Oreos is two cookies, though no one in history has ever voluntarily stopped at three Oreos. Thus, I’ve given the unlikely serving nutrition and the nutrition for the far more likely entire package

Serving Size– 3 cookies / 12 Servings
Calories– 160 / 1920 (2028 by my calculation, but I suppose that’s due to their rounding)
Total Fat– 7g / 84g
Saturated Fat– 2g / 24g
Trans Fat– 0g
Cholesterol– 0mg
Sodium– 190mg
Potassium– 0mg
Total Carbohydrate– 25g / 300g 
Dietary Fiber– 1g / 18g
Sugars– 14g / 168g
Protein– 1g / 18g

With these, you’re looking at a macro breakdown of 37% fat, 59% carbohydrate, and 4% protein. As such, they’re hardly the cornerstone of a diet, but they can still play a vital role in strength and size gains. As I mentioned abvoe, when you’re bulking, the macros don’t really matter all that much after you hit your basic protein requirements, so you can pretty much eat anything provided you’re backstopping your intake with shakes and meats. You can blunt the glycemic load of any food, if that’s a concern, with added fats and proteins, so that’s not at issue either.

And for those of you who need a little extra impetus to give the introduction of Oreos to your winter bulk, consider this:

• Protein + carbs post workout caused the greatest change in one rep max, isometric strength, and changes in isometric strength in a 2015 study, and it also resulted in the greatest change in muscular cross sections, without blunting abdominal fat loss too much. The fat free mass gains were the highest in the protein-only group, but they missed out on the overall size and strength gains (Hulmi).  
• In a 2017 study, researchers found that post-exercise carbohydrate + protein supplementation increased muscle protein synthesis post-exercise at a rate greater than just whey alone. They postulated that this was due to relative to placebo and possibly whey protein (Wang).

The theory is that high-glycemic carbohydrate ingestion causes and insulin response, and the insulin increases protein synthesis. Whether or not it’s that, or greater activation of the mTOR signalling pathway is something for them to debate endlessly- I don’t really give a fuck. I just experiment and see what works, and in the last year I can definitively state I am bigger and stronger than ever with less effort using what is more or less a 40% protein, 30% carbohydrate, and 30% fat split. It’s not something I really track or obsess over- I have just noticed in hindsight that when my macros look more or less like that, I’m big as fuck and pretty lean. Secure in the knowledge I look and feel awesome and that chicks who lift dig the bigger and slightly less lean look, I vastly prefer eating like a fucking human being than eating like a machine nonstop.

Incedentally, if you happen to find some old Oreos in a friend’s bomb shelter or some shit, snag em- Oreos made before 1997 almost certainly taste better than the vegan version we’ve had foisted upon us.

“The original recipe for the filling actually got its creaminess from pig lard! In 1997, Nabisco switched to a vegan (and kosher) option by using vegetable oils. While the exact Oreo recipe is still a secret, some industry secrets leaked to the public during an incident in 2014. Long story short—an American landed a 15-year prison sentence after releasing the Oreo formula to a Chinese company for a cool 28 million dollar payout. Because of this scandal, it was unveiled that Nabisco used a scary additive called titanium dioxide in the cookie center. A chemical that gives certain foods (such as ice cream) their ultra-white color, titanium dioxide has been proven to cause liver and tissue damage in mice, so it might also have some serious health implications for people” (Tarentino).

Black Magic Bars

Appropriately named for an occult-themed article series, these bars aren’t going to get you to the top of the list on whatever Fitbit tracking bullshit competition you might be having with faceless strangers on the internet, but it will confer some gains if you use them correctly. This recipe came from 5 Boys Bakers, and I’ve not tried it before but will definitely be making these for Thanksgiving this week. Hopefully, I can use these to roll into the new year knocking on the door of 240lbs- I didn’t even break 200 pounds until nine or ten years ago and ate myself sick on Thanksgiving. My tiny little bird-boned frame was not designed for an orc’s body, but that’s what I want, goddamnit, and that’s what I’m gonna have.

Ingredients

• 20 regular Oreos (crushed finely)
• 1/4 cup melted butter
• 1 – 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup white chocolate chips
• 3/4 cup milk chocolate chips
• 1 cup chopped, roasted salted almonds)
• 2 cups sweetened coconut

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 325. Spray an 11×7 glass dish with cooking spray.
• In a bowl, combine the crushed Oreos and melted butter, mix until well combined and press into prepared pan.
• In a bowl place mix together all of the chips, almonds and coconut, pour the sweetened condensed milk over them and mix until all combined. Press the coconut mixture over the crust.
• Bake for 25 minutes until the edges begin to just turn golden.
• Cool for about 30 minutes and then refrigerate until cold before cutting.

Black Magic Bars Nutrition

Servings– 19
Calories– 405
Total Fat– 22.5g
Saturated Fat– 12g
Cholesterol– 18mg
Sodium– 172mg
Total Carbohydrate– 47.4g
Dietary Fiber– 2.6g
Total Sugars– 38.8g
Protein– 6.6g

The nutrition breakdown on this one is 48% fat, 45% carbs, and 6% protein. The insulin response is going to blunted by the fat content, so these bad boys aren’t going to end with you on an operating table losing your feet. Add a protein shake to one of these and you’re going to be isocaloric. Though it likely seems that is my answer to everything, it sort of is- you can make pretty much anything useful from a nutrition standpoint with the addition of a protein shake. Keep that in mind when you’re filling your plate with pie this weekend. Forget all of the shit the magazines and news have been saying and just start and end your day with a fuckload of protein- if you skip the dessert, you’re passing up on PRs and tearing the seams of your shirts in the sleeves and shoulders.

Incidentally, you’ll note that the majority of the fat in these bad boys is saturated. As this article has gone on long enough and I’ve no interest in reinventing the wheel, so here are the reasons you should love saturated fat more than

Brain Health – The majority of your brain is fat and cholesterol. Weird, but true. And the vast majority of that fat is saturated fat. If you are trusting in a low saturated fat diet, you are missing out on an essential raw material your brain needs to grow, regenerate, and stay healthy. Telling someone they have a big fat brain is really a sexy compliment.
Cardiovascular Health – Boom! In your face Ancel Keys. (Sorry, got a little excited there.) Saturated fats provide so many wonderful benefits for your heart and circulatory system. For example, lauric and stearic acids found in saturated fats can actually help regulate cholesterol levels. In addition, dietary saturated fats can reduce levels of lipoprotein(a), a known risk factor for cardiovascular disease.
Bone Health – Saturated fat is necessary for calcium to be effectively incorporated into bone. Without fat, you’ll have boney bones. And with poor bone density comes increased risk of degeneration and injury.
Immune Health – Without sufficient saturated fats in white blood cells, their ability to recognize and destroy foreign invaders like viruses, bacteria, and fungi is impaired.
Nervous System Health – Think of saturated fat as the “insulation” coating for your nervous system (aka your internal wiring). When you lack this insulation you become more susceptible to external and internal stress. Certain saturated fats even function as signaling messengers themselves. A low saturated fat diet can cause poor communication between the cells of your body and result in several catastrophic problems (Stevenson).

Bonus Gainz: Peanut Butter and Crackers

This last bit is just a trick I’ve picked up recently- it is fucking hard to stuff your face aggressively all day long, unless you’ve been a fatty your entire life (in which case bulking makes no sense anyway). As such, I’ll have a day every couple of weeks where I eat almost nothing, then have to play catchup the following couple of days so I can keep growing. One thing I regularly put into the gastronomic rotation on those days is saltines with Skippy’s Natural creamy peanut butter on them. I’ll typically use between a third and a half jar of peanut butter on a sleeve of crackers, and that is a serious calorie bomb.

I had to guesstimate on the peanut butter nutrition, because I don’t measure shit- I just slather it on. I used roughly a third of a jar for my calculations, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t sat down with a bigass box of saltines and trashed most of a jar of peanut butter in the last two weeks in an effort to pile on some fucking mass. And if you’re recalling my article on aflatoxins and peanuts, something is gonna kill you, and ecological collapse will kill us long before cancer stemming from aflatoxins. So fuck it- I’m going to go out looking like Godzilla and risk the eventual onset of cancer, which will happen anyway.

Using a third of a jar of peanut butter and a sleeve of crackers, this caloric nuclear option is 55% fat, 36% carbs, and 11% protein. As I said above, this isn’t intended to replace a meal- this is to pile gainz on top of gainz once you’ve already hit your protein requirement for the day, whatever you might believe that to be. I shoot for 1.5g of protein per pound of body weight at a minimum, but experimentation with your own body will reveal what your magic numbers are.

Calories– 1345
Total Fat– 82.5g
Saturated Fat– 11.25g
Sodium– 1575mg
Potassium– 969mg
Total Carbohydrates– 120g
Dietary Fiber– 9g
Sugar– 13.5g
Protein– 38.5g

Oh, and pro tip- the salt side should face the peanut butter. If you do the tastier salt side out, the crackers tend to disintegrate if you’re not eating them in one massive bite (which is how I do it). You’ll not that the potassium/sodium ratio in this bad boy is actually pretty decent, plus you’re getting some damn good fats in there. Frankly, I feel better than a college age cokehead chick in step class in the gym after I eat a sleeve of these things, so I recommend doing so, especially on heavy training days. And it’s not just me who loves peanut butter for gainz- Bill “Peanuts” West and the OG Westside crew swore by peanut butter, bodybuilder Craig Titus ate peanut butter even during his cuts for “good fats,” and other bodybuilders have been eating peanut butter on rice cakes for decades (though rice cakes are disgusting garbage). In short, peanut butter has a long pedigree and is a badass addition to your diet for bulking.

Wrapping This Shit Up

I don’t recommend hard bulking every fucking day- one, it’s exhausting. Two, you’re probably going to put on more fat than you want. Three, if you cycle your calories it seems to drive better nutrient uptake on your hard bulking days. With that said, eating clean all the time definitely retards your gains- I’ve lost a considerable amount of fat (much of which seems to have been intra-muscular rather than subcutaneous) over the last year and gained weight by a more or less random cycling of calories and macros based on my mood, my appearance, and my performance in the gym. I didn’t make a fucking chart, track a goddamned thing in Fitbit or whateverthefuck you people use, or consult with a single person before just trying shit to see how it worked. None of that is required for success- the will to succeed is the sole ingredient you need in order to achieve your goals- that will allows you to make gradual course corrections as you go to ensure progress is made.

And remember- the Stoics were nothing to emulate. They were bitch-made and weaksauce and too scared of life to actually enjoy it. Stoics believe you should just bend over and take whatever life hands you, because that’s fate and you have to accept it. So if you’re a little bitch, you shouldn’t eat like an animal and lift all the weights, but just bend over and be a little bitch. Fuck that noise.

“Fuck prophecy. Fuck fate. Fuck everyone who isn’t us. We’re the only ones who matter, the only ones in this world. And everything they’ve taken from us, we’re going to take back and more. We’re going to take everything there is. “

The only true freedom you have in the freedom to dictate your own actions, and if you proscribe certain foods or drink due to a fear that they will overwhelm you (we’ll leave shit like heroin and crack out of this category and simply refer to them as poison), you’re not proving your strength- you’re proving you’re weak in the face of a little temptation.

Thus, indulging your baser desires, like eating shitty food or banging randos at a sex club/seedy porn shop on the weekends (which I highly recommend as an alternative to whatever lame shit you generally do), is to be encouraged rather than discouraged. If you find you’re getting fat or unhealthy, cut the fuck back like a sensible person- that’s where true power lies. Otherwise, you’re just a slave to substance, and that’s naught but weakness. And again, don’t try that shit with heroin, because you’ll either die or wish you had. This isn’t a fucking suicide mission- this is a godhood mission.

“Every act must be a ritual, an act of worship, a sacrament.  Live as kings and princes, crowned and uncrowned, of this world, have always lived, as masters always live; but let it not be self-indulgence; make your self indulgence your religion.  When you drink and dance and take delight, you are not being immoral, you are not risking your immortal soul; you are fulfilling the precepts of our holy religion; provided only that your remember to regard your actions in this light.” -Aleister Crowley 

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Sources:

Abraxas.  The Church of Lucifer.  Web.  22 Nov 2019.  https://luciferschurch.wordpress.com/abraxas/

Crowley, Aleister.  The Writings of Aleister Crowley 2.  Louisville, Anubis Press, 2016.

Davidson, Gustav. “Abraxas.” A Dictionary of Angels: Including the Fallen Angels.Simon & Schuster, 1994.

Forbes GB, Brown MR, Welle SL, Underwood LE.  Hormonal response to overfeeding.  Am J Clin Nutr. 1989 Apr;49(4):608-11. 

Hulmi JJ, Laakso M, Mero AA, Häkkinen K, Ahtiainen JP, Peltonen H.  The effects of whey protein with or without carbohydrates on resistance training adaptations.  J Int Soc Sports Nutr. 2015 Dec 16;12:48.

Jebb SA, Prentice AM, Goldberg GR, Murgatroyd PR, Black AE, Coward WA.  Changes in macronutrient balance during over- and underfeeding assessed by 12-d continuous whole-body calorimetry.  Am J Clin Nutr. 1996 Sep;64(3):259-66.

Nelson, Davia, and Nikki Silva.  “The Birth of the Frito.”  Kitchen Sisters- Morning Edition, NPR,  18 Oct 2017.  https://www.npr.org/people/5252035/the-kitchen-sisters

Osborne, Ariana.  The Daemon Tarot.  New York: Sterling Ethos, 2013.

Prof. Geller.  Abraxas.  Mythology.net.  1 Nov 2016.  Web.  21 Nov 2019.  https://mythology.net/greek/greek-concepts/abraxas/

Stevenson, Shawn.  The benefits of saturated fat.  The Model Health Show.  12 May 2014.  Web.  22 Nov 2019.  https://themodelhealthshow.com/benefits-of-saturated-fat/

Tarentino, Olivia.  What Really Is The White Stuff In the Center of an Oreo?  Eat This, Not That!  23 Mar 2019.  Web.  18 Nov 2019.  https://www.eatthis.com/oreo-filling/

The truth about fats: the good, the bad, and the in-between.  Harvard Medical School.  Wb.  21 Nov 2019.  https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-truth-about-fats-bad-and-good

Wang W, Ding Z, Solares GJ, Choi SM, Wang B, Yoon A, Farrar RP, Ivy JL.  Co-ingestion of carbohydrate and whey protein increases fasted rates of muscle protein synthesis immediately after resistance exercise in rats.  PLoS One. 2017 Mar 15;12(3):e0173809. 

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