Am I Being Obtuse?

Jamie Chaos

July 21, 2010

Apparently. Thus, due to the following well-written request for clarification, I find myself compelled to explain myself… or to allow myself to introduce myself. Either way.

“I agree that you have a perfectly legitimate reason to deadlift relatively infrequently and given that you can dead 635 easily, your program obviously works. In fact I heartily agree with everything in this post.

My implied point was that it is possible, however unlikely, that some people who train other lifts only once a week might also have legitimate reasons for doing so.

If “There are no universal truths in lifting- there’s only what’s working for you right now, and what have and haven’t worked for you in the past.”, why is it necessary to imply that everyone who trains comparatively less frequently is a base coward? While I agree that probably most people who adopt lower frequency training systems do so out of indolence, some extremely strong mother fuckers have adopted lower frequency training programs for for reasons in line with points one two and three under “What’d I learn from this?”

You’ve offered ample evidence that your training system is a good one, but constantly bashing other systems does little to further your case. I like that you are willing to call people bleeding vaginas and the like, but I’m pretty sure you’ve hit some people to whom the epithets don’t apply with collateral damage. Still, great blog, and much respect.

Oh, and to the loyal followers, I’m pretty sure Jamie isn’t going to cry himself to sleep tonight because I called him a hypocrite, so you probably don’t need to leap to his defense. Kool-Aid isn’t paleo so don’t drink it. No one ever improved themselves by being constantly told how great they are and being shielded from criticism.”

First, an elucidation of my point in the previous entry- I was not posting an excuse for why I had been deadlifting tremendously infrequently. Instead, I was posting an explanation of how I came to structure my workouts to facilitate more frequent training. Thus it is the how, not the why or the what, that is important in the creation of a routine, be it wildly unstructured or rigidly constructed. Given the fact that no two people are alike, and that no two people will likely respond identically to similar loads, uniform structure for any workout seems to me to be absurd. Granted, various parties will assert that the average person can handle a certain load, but there is a simple counter to that- the average person does not, in fact, exist. The “average person” is a fictional character who exists only in the minds of people so deluded that they’ll hold onto the fanciful notions of a fictional character to justify their construction of banal programs that produce mediocre results and insulate the program’s creator from lawsuits. Furthermore, if an “average” person does exist somewhere, I will bet my spleen that they don’t fucking lift, so any point predicated upon what the average person can do is moot.

If I’m wrong, you can have it.

Next, I’m certain that anyone can produce any number of reasons not to do something. I found that I was consistently crippling myself by deadlifting at over 95% of my 1RM, and so I drastically curtailed the frequency of that lift. It wasn’t because my body could not handle more deadlifting- it was because my body couldn’t handle more deadlifting at that loading protocol. I felt, however, that any weight under 585 was beneath me, both literally and figuratively (fuck me, I’m a funny motherfucker), and so I’d force myself through endless singles at what was at the time between 95% and 96.6% of my one rep max and fuck myself up in the process. Nowhere in my blog does it state that one should confine themselves to that sort of loading- I did it without actively considering the protocol, or the ramifications thereof, but rather because I liked deadlifting 6 plates.

As to the “constant bashing of others” to which you refer, I find a great many training systems to be predicated upon cowardice and a staunch adherence to mediocrity, and am pleased to state as much. I would caution one, however, not to read too much into those statements, as applying the perceived epithets therein to one’s self, if you are not one of the parties specifically mentioned, is incorrect. I’ll happily call out those parties whom I find distasteful, pathetic, or completely beneath contempt. If you’re you’ve gone unnamed, it’s likely because you’re not one of those parties to whom I’m referring. I am attempting to make a fairly comprehensive list, though, and it’ll be in an upcoming blog entitled “You’re the Disease, and I’m the Cure”, which was obviously inspired by the movie Cobra, in all of its wonder and glory. Hosanna in the highest.

As to the last bit, I actually welcome criticism, as it helps me flesh out bits of my thesis that are either mis- or simply not understood. For instance, people seem to have gotten the idea that forbid certain exercises, which is completely ridiculous. The only exercise for which I would suggest someone be summarily executed for performing is a squat on a swiss ball, because that’s just fucking stupid, and of course, Hercules Curls, for reasons I’ve already outlined. That stated, if people feel like doing them, I could give a flying fuck- just know that you’re an asshole and we can move on, haha. To the guys who’ll going to whine, as they do incessantly, that I never address their criticisms, it’s because they confuse slander and defamation, in the form of ad hominem attacks on myself and my family, with criticism. That’s understandable, because they’re obviously fucking retarded.

The denouement- if you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re only capable of doing an exercise once a week, it’s because of the manner in which you’ve chosen to do it, time constraints, or a simple conscious decision not to, rather than because you’re incapable. I love shrugging, and always get carried away with it, and so I preclude doing so more often, because with the myriad pulling movements I find myself doing, I get all fucked up. Additionally, given that the shrug, the high pull, the clean, and the deadlift are all variations of what amounts to the same movement, it seems redundant to do them all everyday anyway. Thus, the fact that I’m doing cleans 4-6 days a week means that I’m essentially doing light, dynamic deadlifts in 70-85% of my workouts, and the fact that I’ve increased my deadlift by 20 lbs in the last couple months is a testament to my methodology, rather than an identification of hypocrisy therein.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

42 responses to “Am I Being Obtuse?”

Nathan

July 21, 2010

A whole post just for little old me? I feel special.
Just kidding.
This post clarifies your position nicely.
If your epithets/criticisms/slander etc are directed rather narrowly, and not to apply to, for example, the successful powerlifters who employ lower frequency training, I find them to be in no way objectionable. Plenty of people in the bodybuilding/fitness/nutrition/telling skinny kids to eat NOxplode and do curls industry need to have their asses handed to them, and the people you have specifically named seem to have it coming. (though it seems unfair to attack anyone before attacking the Body by Science fags.)

I'll look forward to your list of degenerates, it's always fun to have more people to hate.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

Long time Lurker… Ive always understood this to be your position… I don't understand how people who lift regularly can't comprehend this basic principal.

PS: I won't dead at all except for my max every 3 months because I power clean 6 days a week and deads just make me too tired to clean a decent weight.
Manveet

July 21, 2010

looking forward to this list of degenerates.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

Can you please not use "Haha" in your blog posts? It makes you sound like the status updates of all the girls I've stolen slutty pictures from, and I don't want to think of you in my pre-sleep rubout sessions.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

I`m glad you`re not a native speaker of german, with your tendency to build long, winding senteces separated by at least 4 commas you would need only one sentence per blog entry in our language. Maybe you could even break Heinrich Heines record of one sentence over 4 pages, hahaha…

Alex 🙂
Rant

July 21, 2010

You welcome criticism? Your blog sucks and you're an asshole. No one cares about your "clarification" after you put your foot in your mouth.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

More nonsensical criticism from a guy that can't make his own blog interesting.
Hey, douche bag, try to make your own blog semi-interesting.
NaturalBornKiller

July 21, 2010

Go drink some hard alcohol and fuck your mother rant. your just a little piece of shit who enjoy's the attention he gets from making a complete fool out of him self on a daily basis. your a waste of life and if i were ever to meet you in person i would (nacho libre voice) "give you a pile driver to the face!!!! ha ha ha have a good day fucktard.
Rant

July 21, 2010

I think I round out the comments section very well. Too many ass kissers on this blog.
WildGorillaMan

July 21, 2010

A couple of quotes sprang to mind when reading this:

First from The Coach Dan John, which is "If you can deadlift 600lbs but only do 3 chinups, it's clear what you need to spend your time working on." or words to that effect.

Not implying that Jamie's chinups suck, but you get the point about focusing on what needs work.

The other, I can't remember if it was Medvedev or another maniac coach who said (in Russian) "Average programs are for producing average athletes."
Rant’s Childrens’ Testicular and Ovarian Cancer

July 21, 2010

Rant-

Can you refute a single training theory on this site using anything approaching facts?

I thought not.

Love,

Your Childrens' Testicular and Ovarian Cancer
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

I really fail to understand why you read this blog if you hate it, Rant. You're probably so miserable because you spend too much time reading things, you hate. I know If I spent all my time reading F. Scot Fitzgerald for example, I'd be a miserable alcoholic too. That's why I don't read F. Scot Fitzgerald. You should probably go read something you like, and if there's nothing you like to read, kill yourself.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

I wonder if Rant's wife gives good head??
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

She doesn't. I gave her the chance; big mistake.
Rant

July 21, 2010

Gee. You all really put me in my place. No really you all hurt my feelings so I won't be posting here anymore.
Dracoy

July 21, 2010

Yo Nathan,

What's ur ethnicity, yo? I want to nominate u to the brothahood and if u prove urself worthy, don you the ____ Chaos and Pain.

U remind me of a young Dracoy. I, too, was soaking up this C&P game for a long time b4 I entered the fray. After my first comment (some real enlightening shit about dips), everyone was all, "SNAP! Whose this genius?" I said, "I'm Dracoy yo." I've been Dracoy my whole life. But then everyone started calling me "The Asian Chaos and Pain." But then Jamie himself stepped in and said, "Cut that noise out. Only I can decide whose C&P and whose not."

I went home that day, and my place was pitch black, and there were all these jacked up guys with cloaks on. One cloaked dude put a gun to my head and asked me if I wanted 2 do a deadlift or die. I said, "No one puts a gun to Dracoy's head. You might as well pull the trigger, h8r." And then the guy with the gun pull back the hood of his cloak, and it was none other than Jamie himself. And he said, "You passed the final test. Stand up, not as Dracoy, but as the Asian Chaos and Pain." It was a title I didn't ask for but earned.

Then we got really fucked up on Hypnotiq and rolled up to the club all fucked up like celebrities.

Peace,
Dracoy
Rant

July 21, 2010

My site has been around longer than most of you shits have been alive and will long outlive this crappy blog.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

Back to back posts from the two biggest fuckwads on this blog… Both doing their own little private stand up comedy routines.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

Longevity of a website is surely a sign of greatness.
Fregs79

July 21, 2010

Dracoy is a fucking genius
NaturalBornKiller

July 21, 2010

Rant, i did not know 20+ years ago not only were you a raging alcoholic BUT one of the FIRST Web users back in the day (http://www.techjaws.com/the-web-20-years-ago/) let alone your own site. shit fella's we have the alcoholic Bill Gates amongst us… anyone who has ever told you to be yourself could not of given you worse advice… Cheers
Jamie Lewis

July 21, 2010

Hahahaha. I actually laughed out loud at that.
Anonymous

July 21, 2010

Dracoy. Holy fuck. That was retarded and great.
Nathan

July 22, 2010

I see…

I'll be on the look out for the jacked guys in black cloaks then.
I guess my ethnicity is "untermensch" since my Grandma was a German Jew. I don't consider myself Jewish though since I don't do all the traditional cultural Jewish stuff like eating babies and orchestrating 9-11.
Anonymous

July 22, 2010

Hey Rant i'm pretty sure i just found a video of your training brah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaJ1dua5Qms
Dracoy

July 22, 2010

Yo Nathan,

I regret to inform u that there's already a Jewish Chaos and Pain, more accurately a Jewish Meshugenah Pain. However, we have an opening for a Visigoth Chaos and Pain if ur interested…

Let me know yo.
Dracoy
Jamie Lewis

July 22, 2010

As the Visigoths settled Spain and the Spain hated the Jews, I don't think that's an accurate moniker. Perhaps Ashkenazi Chaos and Pain, or Penny-Pinching Chaos and Pain? Maybe Kosher Chaos and Pain?
Fat Man Scoop

July 22, 2010

Since this is the latest post I am just gonna ask this here. Is paleo or Keto diet better if you want to lose fat and be better off in general?
Jamie Lewis

July 22, 2010

Depends on how diligently you adhere to either, and what you mean by better off in general, in addition to your metabolic type.
Dracoy

July 22, 2010

Yo Jamie,

I respectfully disagree that visigoth is inapposite yo. The Visigoths eventually migrated 2 Gaul, where they bastardized Latin to form modern-day Spanish. Still, the Visigoths originated as a barbaric germanic tribe. Also, the Spanish are more noted for their h8red of Muslims, but their mistreatment of the Jews was nothing abnormal 4 the times. So while I agree that Ashkenazic C&P is more fitting from an ethnic perspective, it lacks the "barbaric" feature of Visigoth C&P.

Peace,
Dracoy
Anonymous

July 22, 2010

Just a clarification, but Jamie didn't get a 600 plus pound deadlift by NOT deadlifting. So until I've built up to a respectable weight for my stature that is physically just breaking my body down, I plan to man up and keep pulling heavy on the weekly. Correct?
Fat Man Scoop

July 22, 2010

I think I am going to stick to Paleo diet since I still want to eat fruits and vegetables. I have tried Keto but it is hard to eat meat, eggs, nuts all the time. Though I kept up strictly to it and noticed a difference.

"Being better off in general" was not necessary in my comment since if I eat better than what I am doing right now my body will be better.
Nathan

July 22, 2010

Thanks, but my lifting style and diet aren't exactly Chaos and Pain, so such a moniker probably wouldn't be appropriate.
Don't get me wrong, this blog has definitely been a positive influence on the way I lift and eat, but as of right now I'm going with the old adage
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it, just kinda fuck around with it a little bit to make it work better."
If what I'm doing now ever stops giving me the kind of results I'm looking for, the type of training you've advocated is at the top of my list of what to do next, but that day has not yet arrived.
Anonymous

July 22, 2010

Nathan, do you want 2 deadlift or die?
Anonymous

July 22, 2010

Nathan: can you share anything about what your lifting style is, and what kind of results you are getting? just curious.
Nathan

July 22, 2010

Anonymous,

Thanks for asking. I actually follow the teachings of the Moynihan Institute. Suck on that, bitches.

Nathan
Anonymous

July 22, 2010

So it was Rant the whole time…haha
Nathan

July 23, 2010

It doesn't really matter if I want to deadlift or die, because I'm going to do both anyway.
As for my lifting style, I it evolved organically kind of like the Zerg or Tyranids or whatever. I took the DNA from the strongest species and made them into voracious and extremely cost effective killing machines which barely resemble their ancestors. As such, it's not written down anywhere that I can link to and since this isn't my blog I don't want to go into a lengthy explanation.
Nathan

July 23, 2010

Didn't see that last comment before I posted. Should I be flattered that some asshat is trying to discredit me by associating me with Rant?
I have nothing to do with Rant's fucktarded training advice whatever it is.
Dray

July 23, 2010

I thought the fake post was fucking hilarious actually.

No but that's what happens around here, pay no heed.

Unless people start getting confused about who is the real Nathan and who's the fake one. FUCK ME THAT COULD GET ANNOYING
BokChoy – Officiar Asian Chaos & Pain

July 23, 2010

Yo, who be dis dracoy cat? I'm da rear asian chaos and pain an' me no rikey dis dracoy guy. He smarr and not eat rice.
Jamie Lewis

July 23, 2010

HAHAHAHAHAHA.