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Ask the Asshole #4
Anyway, last winter, I decided to do it right. I detoxed for 3 days on caffeine. I did a four-day creatine loading, then stayed on it for 6 weeks. It was creatine monohydrate, powder form. I think it was the most successful creatine usage I’ve had.
As for the caffeine thing, I think that was mainly a placebo effect, quite honestly. All of the empirical evidence I’ve seen shows that the diuretic effect of caffeine fades as your tolerance grows. There’s even an MD article on it this month (incidentally, that is now the only bodybuilding rag I read. the articles are well written and research, and it has no Mentzer-esque bullshit in it- yeah, I’m talking about you, Ironman fuckfaces). Like most non-prohormone supplements, theres’s more conflicting evidence surrounding the efficacy and usage of creatine than there is on Anderson Cooper’s sexuality. Use it if you want, but it’s certainly far from imperative.
Q: I’ve never gotten any pump from an NO product. Is there any particular benefit I’m really missing out on by just sticking to pre-workout coffee?
A: No. NO products are marketing hype backed by theoretical evidence and hope- nothing more. There is absolutely no anecdotal or clinical evidence showing that NO products improve performance or increase muscular hypertrophy in any way shape or form. I take Methyl Mass because it’s got caffeine, taurine, and Propadrol in it, not because of it’s NO properties. I mean, I like being vascular, but that hardly justifies the $3 per serving pricetag.
Q: What is your opinion on arginine, orinthine and ZMAs? A lot of the recommenations on when to take them and how (empty stomach vs. with food) vary and even after extensive research, nothing is concrete.
A: Dan Duchaine wrote about Arginine and Ornithine in his seminal work, Body Opus, which I highly recommend. Know what that stack is? NO. That’s all it is. He recommended that 20 years ago as a way to increase vascularity. That’s all it does… nothing more.
As for ZMA, I typically have no trouble sleeping, provided my level of stress isn’t insanely high. I don’t have any real use for it at all, and thus haven’t experimented much with it. i take Universal’s Animal Pak right before bed though, so I figure that contains all of what you’d have in a ZMA stack anyway. I sleep like a fucking baby on quaaludes and have awesome zombie apocalypse nightmares at will. If that’s any indication, ZMA will work like a fucking charm. that, or you can simply take a multivitamin like a regular person. Either way.
Q: Is high-carb protein powder (Cytogainer, by Cytosport) okay as a post-workout shake during a keto run? Are there really pronounced differences between higher carb powders and low-no carb powders?
Although the good people at T-Nation say it’s ok, I don’t fucking with any carbs on my keto runs. My postworkout meals consist of Oh Yeah bars. 12g of carbs will do me just fine postworkout on keto runs. The difference between high carb powders and no carb powders is the high carb ones are weight gainers and the no carb ones are merely protein powders.
If you want to waste your money on protein powders with carbs in them, you might be better off just purchasing a tack hammer and smashing your dominant hand with it or something. At least then your waistline would remain intact, and you’d look like less of a fucking retard. You want carbs in your protein shake? PUT IT IN CHOCOLATE MILK. People who can’t gain weight fall into two very distinct categories: people with AIDS or some other wasting disease, and people who don’t eat enough. Dave Tate has a good article on weight gain on T-Nation. Check it out.
“For dinner you’re gonna order an extra-large pizza with everything on it. Literally everything. If you don’t like sardines, don’t put ’em on, but anything else that you like you have to load it on there. After you pay the delivery guy, I want you to take the pie to your coffee table, open that fucker up, and grab a bottle of oil. It can be olive oil, canola oil, whatever. Anything but motor oil. And I want you to pour that shit over the pie until half of the bottle is gone. Just soak the shit out of it.”
By the way, for any of you who think you can’t gain weight, I’d suggest you head over to Uno Chicago Grill for a Deep Dish Chicago Classic Pizza. The individual pizza has 2310 calories, 99g of protein, 120g carbs, and 165g of fat. One of those every now and again and you’ll have to gain weight- no regulars at Unos look like they’re moonlighting as extras on Schindler’s List. .
Q: Are there any particular supplements that help with actual strength or is that concept too far-fetched?
Q: What supplement do you recommend for shedding bodyfat? I know diet is crucial, but anything extra to get rid of extra, pesky flab?
A: I feel as though I’ve addressed this question multiple times, but some of you are a little slow. that, or you don’t hang on my every word, as you should. In any event, yes, there is a supplement I recommend for shedding bodyfat.
Activating B1 sites is easy- you simply stimulate your CNS and generate a release of noradrenaline, which will then increase lipolysis, along with creating an according increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature. That’s right- if it doesn’t make you sweaty and jittery, it’s not working. The best B1 activators are, in descending order of effectiveness:
- Clenbuterol (half life of 34-35 hrs)
- Mabuterol (20 hrs)
- Ephedrine (3-4 hours)
- Albuterol (2-6 hrs)
To increase the effectiveness of any of these B1 activators, Duchaine and others have long recommended caffeine and aspirin. Caffeine is a methylxanthine, an alkaloid used as a stimulant and bronchodilator. This chemical badass has the ability to inhibit phosphodiesterases within the cell, which is important, because that means that they can enhance the effects of physiological processes dependent on cAMP or cGMP (like fat loss, the effects of Viagra, and a wide variety of other awesome shit). It’s also been shown to have the ability to prevent some re-uptake of norepinephrine, which is good for fat loss because norepinephrine stimulates B1 cells. In essence, it makes everything that’s awesome about ephedrine even more awesome, and tells fat to go fuck itself twice, then punches fat’s mom in the face and fucks his sister.(2)(3)(4)Aspirin is also a badass sidekick for ephedrine, in a gun-toting-Bucky, rather than a Robin in a leather-suit-with-nipples Robin, sort of way. It’s a prostaglandin inhibitor, which is important because certain prostaglandins, rat fucks that they are, inhibit lipolysis and are produced in response to adrenergic stimulation.(2) Thus, it’s good shit to throw in on top of ephedrine and caffeine.Other good shit to add to the mix:
- Yohimbe. I actually had some fucking retard return some yohimbe the other day after reading on the internet that it was a male potency herb, and that it wouldn’t work for fat loss. This goes to my point that people suck, and the vast majority should be rounded up and sent to camps. Yohimbe is the only herb that one can buy that will block the uptake of noradrenaline in the A2 receptors I mentioned earlier. that means it will keep the A2 receptors from storing fat and generally acting like assholes, which is pretty important. Additionally, yohimbe is a vasodilator that will improve blood circulation and improve the hardness of your hardons, so it’s generally good stuff, no matter what uneducated assholes on the internet might assert to the contrary.
- Theobromine. A methylxanthine like caffeine, it works on the same metabolic pathway, only more subtly, since it’s less potent.
- Evodiamine. Evodiamine is an extract from a Chinese herb called Wu-Chu-Yu, and though there is no empirical evidence showing that it is effective in humans, clinical studies on rats have shown that it increases body temperature and reduces fat uptake. It’s apparently even more effective with a high fat diet, so keto dieters should jumpa ll over it.
- Grapefruit Extract. Grapefruit extract contains a substance that’s illegal to purchase by itself, called narangin. Narangin is a flavanoid extracted from the rind of grapefruit that increases the potency of other substances ingested with it. As such, caffeine and ephedrine will be more effective when ingested with Grapefruit extract.
Clinical evidence shows that “ephedrine and caffeine taken in a 1:10 ratio (20 mg ephedrine : 200 mg caffeine) creates effects greater than the sum of the two drugs added together” and that “maximum effectiveness is achieved when taking 20 mg ephedrine with 200 mg caffeine and 300 mg aspirin three times a day about one half hour before meals.” I’d tinker with the dosage on your theobromine and yohimbe, but I recommend going easy on the theobromine initially, and dosing your yohimbe at 3-10g a day.
Off the shelf fatburners I like, in order of awesomeness:
- Stimerex-ES: Badass fatburner with 25 mg of ephedra and 100 mg of caffeine. Stacked with Methyl Mass, this shit is awesome. Proprietary Blend: 510mg Consisting of: 25 mg. Ephedra Extract (leaves), Acacia Rigidula Extract (leaves) (methylsynephrine), (Yielding 125 mg Phenylethylamine Alkaloids: B-Phenylethylamine, N-Methyl-B-Phenylethylamine, and R-beta-Methylphenylethyanine), Theobroma Cocoa Extract (Seed), Phenylethylamine HCL, Citrus Aurantium Extract (25mg Synephrine), Green Tea Extract (leaves), Yohimbe Extact (bark), Naringen (fruit), 6-7 Dihydroxy bergamottin (fruit). Caffeine (anhydrous) 150mg
- Lipodrene. made by the same mad scientists who cooked up Stimerex, Lipodrene’s a little less “exciting”, but still will wake you the fuck up and knock the shit out of bodyfat.
Proprietary Blend Ephedra Extract (leaves), Acacia Rigidula Extract (leaves) MethylSynephrine (Yielding 75mg Phenylethylamine Alkaloids including: B-Phenylethylamine, N-Methyl-B-Phenylethylamine, and R-beta-Methylphenylethyanine) , Phenylethylamine HCL,, 25mg Synephrine HCL, Theobromine, Green Tea Extract (45mg ECGC), Hoodia Extract (cactus),Cassia Nomame Extract (plant), Naringen (fruit), 6,7 Dihydroxybergamottin (fruit), 5-Methoxytryptamine HCL, L-5 Hydroxytryptophan, Yohimbine HCL
- Mix n Match. The last option is to go to the drug store and get Bronk-Aid from the pharmacist. Those are 25 mg tabs of ephedrine and guaifenesin, which has also been shown to aid fat loss. Throw one of those down the hatch with an aspirin and a caffeine tab, and you’re off to the races.
That’ll do it for this installment of Ask the Asshole, though I’ve got a shitload more questions to answer, which I shall do ASAP.
—————-
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- Duchaine, Dan. Body Opus. Pp. 158-160.
- “Pharmacological Approaches to Fat Loss Targeting Beta_andrenergic Recptors.” http://www.mesomorphosis.com/articles/haycock/ephedrine-and-beta-adrenergic-receptors.htm
- Wikipedia. “Xanthine.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xanthine
- Wikipedia. “Phosphodiesterases.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosphodiesterases
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12 responses to “Ask the Asshole #4”
"The evidence supporting creatine shows that it gives strength benefit of one to two reps on high rep exercises."
That is *exactly* my experience with creatine too. I've tried experimenting with it off and on, and what I found is that 2 – 3 weeks after coming off of it, I drop 2 reps off of my big compound lifts, and nothing off of my other lifts. 2 weeks after coming back on it, I put those exact same reps back on. Over the last few months of research and review of my training logs and (lack of) progress following traditional 8 – 12 rep regimens, I am convinced that losing those extra 2 reps won't matter since I shouldn't be doing that many reps anyways.
J.Ja
Well put.
Yeah, because God forbid you do a set where the rep scheme is more than 4. Then, you're just a pussy and Jamie will come up with some witty putdown for people who do sets with at least 5 reps.
I think Ephedra-ephedrine labeled products that claim to promote fat loss have been made illegal. Which sucks, because I used them in addition to caffeine as ADHD medication.
It's still legal to buy OTC meds that have ephedrine, so, Bronkaid still exists.
Synephrine sucks.
I am witty.
I've no idea what the legality of those products is, but I've purchased them recently, and they're available for sale online and in cool supplement stores, like Spud's place, Nutrition Warehouse (http://www.southcarolinabarbell.com/nutritionwarehouse/nuthouse.asp)
So, Anonymous 8:10 AM, I sense the sarcasm … but what's your point? The only thing I got out of your comment is that Jamie is witty, you like read his blogs enough to make that deduction … and you are bitter cause you want to do more reps?
Synephrine Hcl is great for fat
loss its like ephedrine. It has similar effects in terms of providing an energy
boost, suppressing appetite and increasing metabolic rate leading to the burning
or more calories. It hasn't as many side effects as ephedrine when used
sensibly and with a good diet and exercise regime.
how much fat burners pills you take daily?
Sprinter – 960
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