Baddest Motherfuckers Ever #25- Danny “The Ginger Badass” Bonaduce

How many people do you know who are former child mega-stars, bang Playboy models, have fought pro mma fighters and boxers, are best friends with A.C. Slater, has trained at the Incredible Hulk’s house, wrestled professionally, is a restaurateur, gym owner, and radio disc jockey, and who smashed someone’s face in at an awards show without getting arrested, all while being pretty well fucking jacked for no reason?  Let me answer that for you- one.  Danny “The Ginger Badass” Bonaduce.

I realize that half of you are about to shit your pants over the fact that Bonaduce’s not a strength athlete, but that half of my audience can go ahead and fuck themselves, as Bonaduce is the real deal.  In addition to being progressively more awesome as he gets older, I can virtually guarantee that not only does the Ginger Badass look better than you naked, he more than likely would whip your ass silly and then fuck it just for shits and giggles, because that’s the kind of guy he is.  Still need convincing?

For the uninitiated among you, the guy who just broke that poofter’s face is also one of the most accomplished fictional bass players of all time, as Bonaduce was the bass player in the Partridge Family.  After that show got canned, young Bonaduce went on a decades-long coke and crack bender, beat the living shit out of a transsexual prostitute and landed himself in rehab.  As is common, Bonaduce got fat after kicking his coke habit and becoming a morning show dj.  Unlike most morning show guys, Bonaduce was shamed into getting in shape after he was signed to work with none other than Mr. A.C. Slater of “Saved By the Bell” fame.

Soon after he resolved to get his ass in shape, Bonaduce went fucking bananas lifting twice a day.  He dropped 50 lbs of bodyweight and got jacked at the same time, hitting the gym twice a day and doing a ridiculous amount of cardio.  As Dr. Atkins once stated, to become fat as shit you’ve done “something ‘unbalanced’.  To get yourself back to sleek, lithe, firm and fantastic, you honestly can’t do a balanced approach.” (John)  The Ginger Badass must’ve taken this shit to heart, because in his own words,

“I’m obsessed with lifting and getting more cut up. I have a gym at work, at home and here. [Bonaduce is part owner of Groove Fitness in Hollywood.] I train from 3:30-4:30 a.m. every day. Then I meet my trainer at 11 a.m. almost every morning. And I often run home from work, which is 8 miles.”(M&F)

Tireless in his pursuit of getting ever more ripped, Bonaduce has tried every goddamned thing under the sun- he’s lifted with Lou Ferrigno many times, trained with the aforementioned prettyboy Mario Lopez, sparred with Chuck Liddell and Sugar Ray Leonard, and even does “Wii Zumba, the Michael Jackson dance game, and Dance Dance Revolution for cardio.”(BB.com)  Amusingly, Bonaduce’s been knocked out by the latter three people I mentioned in sparring, and had the shit kicked out of him on the radio by Tito Ortiz as a goof.

As if that shit wasn’t enough, Bonaduce upped the insanity by fighting other celebs in charity boxing matches, and is undefeated in his ass-whippings of the Reverend Bob Levy, fellow child stars Donny Osmond and Barry Williams, and fought attorney Robert Shapiro and former baseball star Jose Canseco to draws.  Thereafter he dipped his toe into the muddy puddle of pro wrestling, where he’s 1-1 against former child star Christopher Knight and actual pro wrestler Eric Young (who has 6 inches and 75 lbs on the the Ginger Badass).  Awesome?  I’d say so.  He also benches over double his bodyweight (though he never trains legs), which is a feat few of the people who’re undoubtedly going to talk shit on this blog can match.

Did I mention he’s the grand world champion of assholes, smokes like a fucking chimney, holds three black belts, and has banged a chick so hot you’d probably suffer first degree burns if you stood next to her?  Check this shit out:

Q Seems like you’re also obsessed with smoking. Any plans to quit?

A No. I’ve quit so many other things! I have a stair-stepper at home with an ashtray welded to it, and my gym has a smoking section.

Q So it’s safe to say you’re not working out for your health?
A I have the desire to appear healthy. I want somebody to go, “Nice ass,” not “Nice lungs.” I have mirrors everywhere in my house, and I walk around with no shirt on constantly. I keep resistance bands in my car, and if I’m going into a situation in which I haven’t met the people, I’ll take the heaviest band out, lay my car seat back, put my feet up on the dashboard and curl until the veins pop up. If someone came out and saw it I’d explain, “I have this cool vein and I wanted all the secretaries to see it.”

If you’re curious as to how he pulled it off, Bonaduce trains six days a week, rotating through rep ranges and workout structures as he sees fit.  “Some weeks it’s push-pull, some weeks it’s max reps, some weeks its max weight, and always cardio and abs.” (BB.com)  He’s also a big fan of training opposing muscle groups together, and does cardio everyday, as he’s obsessed with never getting fat again.  Not a bad obsession, frankly.  His diet’s pretty standard fare (save for the power bar) and generally looks like this:

Breakfast:
Gold Standard Whey Protein drink
Snack:
Power Bar
Lunch:
Skinless Chicken Breast or Fish, serving size no bigger than my hand
Another Healthy Snack
Dinner:
Lean Chicken or Tuna Steak and once or twice a week, a big fat juicy hunk of Red Meat

All meals supplemented with the appropriate amount of carbs/protein ratio, rice, brussel sprouts, etc., in addition to amino acids and whatever thermogenics on which he can lay hands.  (BB.com)

In short, if a former crackhead child star can go from 43% bodyfat to 3%, bang a gang of hot bitches, and compete in a shitload of combat sports after the age of 45, anyone can do it.  The key, it seems, is to be complete fucking insane.

Get insane.

Sources:
     Body Of Work: An Interview With Danny Bonaduce.  odybuilding.com.  http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/body-of-work-interview-with-danny-bonaduce.html
     Danny Bonaduce.  Wikipedia.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Bonaduce#Boxing
     Detz, Jeanine.  Little big guy.  Muscle and Fitness.  9/2005.  http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0801/is_9_66/ai_n14922597/
     Not It.  Itthing.com. 10 Child Stars who Grew Up To Be Morons.  http://itthing.com/10-child-stars-who-grew-up-to-be-morons
     John, Dan. 40 Years of Insight, Part 1.  http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/most_recent/40_years_of_insight_part_1