Godzilla and Mothra.  Tyson and Holyfield.  Tom and Jerry.  Frazier and Ali.  Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.  David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar.  Humanity has always loved a good rivalry, and the World’s Strongest Man is no exception.  Unfortunately, WSM is no longer as it was, with huge men with huger personalities doing battle on what amounted to a game show for the illustrious British Meat trophy.  Certainly, modern athletes are better prepared for the events, better conditioned, and altogether superhuman, but the contest lacks the pitched battles of its forebears, the compelling characters, and the yearly rivalries.  The earliest of these rivalries was Britain’s Geoff Capes, a man who from his appearance seemed better suited to beach volleyball than strongman, versus a psychotic, foaming at-the-mouth, apoplectic Bill Kazmaier.   Capes really couldn’t hang with Kaz on anything, and was far too nice a guy to really make the rivalry interesting.  The hilariously named British Meat company was the sponsor at the time, however, so the show really tried to prop up their Brits as much as humanly possible.  Kaz dominated the field in 1981 and 1982, crushing his competition so completely that he was not invited back to the competition until 1988.

Jon Pall, some tiny goofball, and Geoff Capes, President of Sadotopia and Duke of Fatbodiland.

By the time Kaz got back into the WSM, Jon Pall Sigmarsson, a hilarious, jacked, and Norse-pride-infused Icelander was on top of the WSM heap.  Jon Pall was an interesting counterpoint to Kaz- whereas Kaz seemed to rely on a blend of hate-fueled rage and brute strength, Jon Pall combined a wry sense of humor, a hell of a lot of Viking pride, and an extremely diligent training schedule.  The two men then battled for preeminence in the world of strongman from 1987 through 1989, when Kaz finally quit the sport as his injuries accumulated faster than he could recover from each.  Frankly, one could say that their rivalry began after Kaz’s strongman and powerlifting careers had reached their zenith, but their rivalry managed to transcend that fact simply because each was batshit insane enough, each in his own way, to make the competitions featuring both behemoths the greatest in history.

First, a tale of the tape:

On paper, both of these massive dudes were fairly similar- they were of similar height, more or less similar weight, and both began as powerlifters, though Kaz competed as a superheavyweight and Jon Pall competed in the 275 lb class.  Kaz, eldest of the two by seven years, started lifting weights when he was at the University of Wisconsin, where he played fullback.  After two years, Kaz dropped out of school to pursue powerlifting, doing virtually every ridiculously manly job he could find while doing so.  It’s said that a man once immediately grew a full beard after accidentally brushing shoulders with Kaz in the gym, and that he was able to induce pregnancy and miscarriage in any woman within 100 yards of him simply by thrusting his hips in her general direction and giving her his most alluring, bug-eyed, psychotic, “I’m going to eat your babies” stare.

Cue “Big Pimpin'”

He obtained his unbelievable machismo and testosterone levels at least in part from the jobs he held after leaving football, as he worked as a Patrick Swayze-esque “cooler” in the roughest bars he could find, an oil rig roughneck, and a lumberjack, looking equally magnificent in a leather duster, whatever it is that roughnecks wear, and plaid and a bushy beard.  While working his way through his list of jobs guaranteed to put 100 lbs on your bench and an inch on your penis, Kaz set a world record in the raw bench press and completely dominated the superheavy weight class.  Bored with his dominance of a sport that consisted of three measly events, Kaz shifted his attention to the wild and woolly world of strongman, wherein he became the first man mountain to lift all five of the famed McGlashan stones (now known as the Atlas stones) in competition, the first man to press the Thomas Inch dumbbell overhead, the first man to win three World’s Strongest Man competitions in a row, and the only person of whom I’ve ever heard who has had their physique compared favorably to that of a dinosaur and an elephant.  I’m not bullshitting you- in one Cambridge University text on animal physiology, Kaz’s superhuman squat and bench press were used by a scientist to determine how large an animal could possibly get on our planet.

Kaz rounded out his storied strength career with a tryout with the green Bay Packers (a move later imitated with similar failure by the man with the worst tattoo in history, Brock Lesnar) and stints in the WCW, RINGS, and New Japan, wherein he was at his leanest and most intimidating.  Before moving his one-man circus to wrestling, however, Kaz compiled one hell of a record in strength sports:

Strongman Competitions

World’s Strongest Man
1979-  3rd
1980- 1st
1981- 1st
1982-  1st
1988- 2nd
1989- 4th

World Muscle Power Championships
1985- 3rd
1988- 1st

World Strongman Challenge
1988- 3rd
1990- 2nd

Pure Strength
1987- 2nd
1988- 1st  w/Stuart Thompson
1989- 2nd w/O.D. Wilson
1990- 1st w/O.D. Wilson

Scottish Power Challenge
1984- 1st
1985- 1st
1986- 1st
1987- 1st
1988- 1st
1989- 1st

Strongbow Strongman
1980- 1st

Le Defi Mark Ten Challenge
1987- 1st
1990- 2nd

Powerlifting Competitions

  • Junior National Powerlifting Champion-275 Pound Class-(760-512-760-2033) (1978)
  • Senior National Powerlifting Champion-275 Pound Class-(782-534-804-2121) (1978)
  • World Powerlifting Champion-Superheavyweight-(865-622-804-2292 lbs) (1979)
  • World Record-Bench Press-Superheavyweight-622 lbs (1979)
  • World Record-Bench Press-Superheavyweight-634 lbs (1980)
  • World Record-Bench Press-Superheavyweight-639 lbs (1981)
  • World Record-Bench Press-Superheavyweight-661 lbs (1981)
  • World Record-Powerlifting Total-Superheavyweight-(926-661-837-2424 lbs) (1981)
  • World Record-Deadlift-Superheavyweight-887 lbs (1981)
  • Senior National Powerlifting Champion-Superheavyweight Class-(870-540-837-2248) (1982)
  • World Powerlifting Champion-Superheavyweight Class-(848-501-799-2149) (1983)

As if that wasn’t enough, Kaz set some other random records and benchmarks worth noting for comparison with Jon Pall:

  • Louis Cyr Dumbbell Side Raise and Hold– (Louis Cyr-88 lbs in one hand and 97 lbs in the other); 89 lbs in one hand and 101 lbs in the other for 6 reps. 
  • Louis Cyr Dumbbell Front Raise and Hold– (Louis Cyr-131 lbs. for 1 rep.) 210 lbs x 6 reps.
  • Loglift– 375 lbs 
  • Dumbbell Press-100 lbs X 40 reps
  • Member of 10 Man Team that Pulled a 14 ton Tractor and Attached Caravan for 2 Miles
  • Barbell Curl– 440 lbs
  • Barbell Cheat Curl– 315 lbs x 15
  • Seated Barbell Press– 448 lbs X 3 
  • Deadlift (with straps)-904 lbs 
  • 56 lb. Weight Toss Over Bar (Scottish Highland Games)-Height: 18 feet and 3 inches 
  • 374 Clean and Jerk, 837 Deadlift, 120s x 17 Dumbbell Press in the Strongbow Superman Contest

Jon Pall was no slouch in the awesome department, either.  Growing up on an island near Iceland’s largest fjord, Jon Pall apparently wandered the countryside lifting frozen rocks and sacrificing babies to the Norse gods.  By the time he was 15, Jon Pall started competing in Olympic weightlifting, as Europeans seem to think destroying their joins and masturbating with PVC pipe is an enjoyable way to pass the time.  He trained in glima from the age of five onward as well, as he put on at least one public exhibition of his skills in the sport during his strongman career.  For those of you who lack Wikipedia access, glima is a type of belt wrestling not dissimilar to that of the Mongolians and Tibetans, Schwingen, and a couple of other random styles scattered throughout the world, and glima is basically Iceland’s national sport.  In any event, Jon Pall eventually tired of his wacky Eastern European trick lifting and joined the legions of beasts who were at that time setting a new world record in powerlifting every other hour.

After excelling in the sport and coming to the realization that a world record in powerlifting is little more important to the world at large than the release of a new model Daewoo automobile, Jon Pall decided to try his hand at strongman.  Unfortunately, Sigmarsson’s breakout year occurred in concert with Kaz’s shunning, so the two did not meet on a battlefield blessed by Brodin in 1983.  Like Kaz, Sigmarsson kept competing in powerlifting while a strongman, and set the Iceland and European world records in the bench, squat and deadlift in 1983.  In 1984, discontented with merely ruling two strength sports, Jon Pall oiled up, strapped on a banana hammock, and won the Icelandic bodybuilding championships.  Thereafter, he went back and shit all over his competition for a few years in strongman (becoming the first man to win four WSMs in a row) until his heart exploded while deadlifting- just as a Viking would want to go.

Jon Pall’s competition resume reads much like Kaz’s, which is part of what made their rivalry so awesome.

Strongman
World’s Strongest Man
1983 – 2nd
1984 – 1st
1985 – 2nd
1986 – 1st
1988 – 1st
1989 – 3rd
1990 – 1st

World Muscle Power Championship
1985 – 1st
1986 – 1st
1987 – 2nd
1988 – 3rd
1989 – 1st
1990 – 1st
1991 – 1st
1992 – 3rd


Europe’s Strongest Man
1983 – 3rd
1985 – 1st
1986 – 1st
1987 – 3rd
1988 – 2nd
1989 – 3rd
1990 – 4th
1992 – 4th


Scottish Power Challenge
1989 – 1st

Le Defi Mark Ten Challenge
1985  – 3rd
1986 – 2nd
1987 – 5th

Pure Strength
1987 – 1st

Scandinavian Strongest Man
1982 – 1st

European Hercules
1991 – 2nd
1992 – 6th

Ultimate Challenge Competition 
1987 – 1st
1987 Japan Grand Prix – 2nd

Corby Great Eccleston (England) 
1989 – 1st

Iceland’s Kraftur Contest 
1989 – 1st

Nissan Power Cup 
1990 – 1st

European Muscle Power Championship
1990 – 1st

Iceland’s Strongest Man 
1985 – 1st
1990 – 1st
1991 – 1st
1992 – 1st

Finland’s Strongest Man
1989 – 1st
1992 – 1st

Powerlifting

IPF World Powerlifting Championships 
1981 – 3rd 125kg

EPF European Powerlifting Championships
1980 – 2nd 125kg
1981 – 2nd 125kg
1983 -1st 125kg

NPF Nordic Powerlifting Championships
1979 – 2nd +110kg
1980 – 1st +125kg
1981 – 1st +125kg

Olympic Weightlifting
1980 Icelandic Olympic weightlifting Championships – 1st

Highland Games
1986 Carmunnock Highland Games (Scotland) – 7th
1986 Commonwealth Highland Games (Scotland) – 1st

Also like Kaz, Jon Pall set some fairly impressive personal records worth noting for their upcoming comparison:

  • In competition (1980)- Snatch: 242 lbs, Clean and Jerk: 330 lbs at 272 lbs.
  • One arm deadlift– 506 lbs (without straps)
  • First man to load a 150kg Atlas stone
  • Pushed 3,000 lb wheelbarrow 3.06m

This is how the stage was set for these two titans of strength to meet in our Earthly Valhalla known as the World’s Strongest Man.  Up next, Kaz talks some shit and Jon Pall metaphorically bitch slaps him in their first meeting, then they become friends even while screaming and foaming at the mouth, plus the workouts that made them the beasts they were.

Please the Facebook gods and like this shit on Facebook.  Apparently it means something if you do.
Sources:
Bill Kazmaier.  American Strength Legends.  Web.  1 Apr 2013.  http://samson-power.com/ASL/kaz.html

Bill Kazmaier.  Wikipedia.  Web.  4 Apr 2013.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Kazmaier

Freedman, Lisa.  Fittest Americans of All-Time.  Men’s Fitness.  Web.  3 Apr 2013.  http://www.mensfitness.com/leisure/entertainment/fittest-americans-of-all-time?page=6

Holden, Ted.  Dinosaurs and the gravity problem.  The Anomalist.  Summer 1994.  Web.  11 Apr 2013.  http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/ciencia/ciencia_dinosaurs01.htm

Henderson, Bill.  Jon Pall Sigmarsson.  Strongestman.billhenderson.org.  Web.  11 Apr 2013.  http://strongestman.billhenderson.org/bios/jonpall.html

Jon-Pall Sigmarsson Tribute Page.  Web. 11 Apr 2013.  http://home.earthlink.net/~jonpallsigmarsson/

Jón Páll Sigmarsson.  Wikipedia.  Web.  11 Apr 2013.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%B3n_P%C3%A1ll_Sigmarsson

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