Given that my recommendations articles have become rather infrequent, I figured it was high time to give you the high points of shit I love that you might have missed over the last year. If you’re not into reading, film, podcasts, or music, feel free to complain in the comments. Otherwise, you’re part of the overwhelming majority who are constantly asking for suggestions in this regard. I’ll start with books, since we all stand to do some learnin’, though if you’re interested in occult suggestions I’m just going to list the shit I have in the second half of this installment with no synopsis, because the list is too fucking long and I’ve already given my top picks in that regard.
As to the recommendations, I know my picks have a tendency to be streakier than a glass table in a porn shoot, so I really tried to spread them around a bit- fiction and non-fiction for books, and I stretched to give you guys a pretty wide array of metal and hardcore that should suit anyone that listens to heavy shit. And in re the title, it was originally just a modified quote from a book I recommend in this article, but given that the Dem’s resident retard AOC is living in exactly the type of housing unit she’s consistently decried as unethical and exclusionary, and the right is filled with motherfuckers so sensitive they make chicks on Tumblr seem downright hard-nosed by comparison, I suppose this is shit that’ll fuel your contempt for both sides. With that in mind, it’s time to get fucking bloody.
Books
The first book in the eponymous series by Pierce Brown, this amazingly dystopic novel takes HG Wells’ imagined future of the Morlocks and Eloi up to a fucking ten. Set on Mars, the protagonist is one of the enslaved underclass who toils endlessly underground in an attempt to make the surface of Mars livable. When he discovers that everything he’s been told is a lie, he becomes the slaughter-happy champion in disguise of the Morlocks and wrecks unmitigated havoc on the ruling class in revenge. If this book doesn’t get your fucking heart pumping, you probably own a bunch of MAGA shit and love rooting against your own self-interests. At the very least, however, it might give you an idea of how you can suck up to your overlords like a good little lobotomized lapdog.
FFO: Ursula K. Leguin, Philip K. Dick, and other heavily political sci-fi
Level Zero Heroes- Michael Golembesky
Perhaps I’m the only one who’s never heard about it, but I was thoroughly surprised and excited to discover the Marines have a step above Force Recon- MARSOC. Marines Special Forces are the type of barrel-chested, larger than life motherfuckers that filled the movie Predator, though these guys are real-life maniacs. Apparently inclined to strap a .50 cal to any conveyance that will sit still long enough for them to whip out a roll of duct tape, these guys are the protagonists of Level Zero Heros. LZH, which is now on the SOCOM recommended reading list, tells the story of these guys in Afghanistan after a mission by the 82nd Airborne goes horribly awry. This thing is a must read for anyone with an iota of testosterone in their veins, a scintilla of balls in their pants, or just anyone who likes to find inspiration in real life badassery that makes acts of hyper-violent fiction seem like kindergarten naptime by comparison.
FFO: Predator, Black Hawk Down, Richard Marcinko’s entire bibliography, and the Monster Hunter International series
Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Imperium- Sandy Mitchell
If you’re unfamiliar with Warhammer 40K, or you’re not a fan of tabletop gaming, or you think you hate WH40K, allow me to retort with a quote from him that could as easily be from a coach trying to lead natty bros to victory or someone trying to get evangelic Christians to form a coordinated attack against Muslim invaders:
That was all we needed, a bunch of psalm-singing fanatics in power armour getting in the way of a properly co-ordinated military response. I hadn’t had much personal contact with the Ecclesiarchy’s orders militant in the past, but on the few occasions I had done, I’d found their undeniable martial prowess so closely allied with the worst kind of Emperor-bothering tunnel vision that deploying them effectively in anything resembling a coherent battle plan was all but impossible. The best you could hope for was to point them in the vague direction of something important to the enemy, shout ‘heretic!’ and leave them to it. If you were lucky they’d put a useful dent in the opposing forces, and even if they didn’t, at least you’d got them out of the way before they started preaching at you.
This book, then, is written from the perspective of a very self-deprecating, accidental hero of the Imperium, in a universe where there are no heroes- just progressively more evil villains. These books will have you laughing out loud while they’re getting fired up to put a hurting on some weights, in a manner I’ve only had Joe Abercrombie do in the past. Don’t let the fact that 40k fanboys are by and large Redditors and Channers fuck up your impression of Ciaphas Cain, because as distasteful as those motherfuckers are, even those fucking retards can identify enough with reality that they agree that 40k produces some of the coolest fucking books and games in history… and those dipshits think caffeine, sluts, not living with your parents, being gainfully employed, and a round Earth are all complete bullshit.
FFO: Joe Abercrombie’s stuff, Larry Correia’s stuff, old school Baen books by John Ringo and David Drake
Insofar as I know, Mortal Engines was the first children’s book I’ve read since about the second grade, and as mortified as I was to be reading a children’s book, the premise interested me to the point I couldn’t say no. The premise I found so alluring is that the world is destroyed by war, and in order to fight for survival entire towns have placed themselves on wheels and tank tracks to do battle. They consume each other according to the doctrine of “municipal Darwinism,” and London plans to use an ancient weapon to attack the last remaining stationary civilization on Earth.
Contrary to what the movie would have you believe, the technology is entirely steampunk, and the novel in no way appears to be a mashup of LOTR and Star Wars with a bit of steampunk thrown on top. The thing even has a fucking Terminator in it, done in a really interesting way, which drives the story into some unexpected areas. Do yourself a favor and read it. Seriously- I read this book in one solid go, following Tara around Target with my nose in the book as I got to the end because I literally couldn’t put it down.
FFO: Steampunk and interesting world building. Just read the fucking thing.
The Last Punishers- Kevin Lacz
There is not a one of us who cannot agree that American Sniper, both in book and film form, was epic. Though Chris Kyle’s life had a shitty postscript, he left a legacy that was carried on by the author of The Last Punisher, Kevin Lacz. Lacz was the only one to play himself in American Sniper, as one of the other snipers on Kyle’s team. Though he always played second fiddle to Kyle, Lacz was a genuine hardass in his own right, picking up a couple dozen confirmed kills and a Bronze Star in his two tours. Of duty. Basically, it boils down to this- if you liked American Sniper, you owe it to yourself to read this.
FFO: American Sniper, Rogue Warrior, Black Hawk Down, We Were Soldiers Once… and Young.
Music
Chamber of Malice- Da Drve $lam
One of the groundbreaking, creme de la creme bands of the slam beatdown world, Chamber of Malice (Facebook) has been around for a few years. Unlike a lot of the early deathcore bands that got left in the dust, however, COM remains atop the genre as one of the most brutal, wignorant, flat brim hatted, shit talking, breakdown infused bands on the planet. For fucks’s sake, they open their shows playing Stitches’ epic Brick in Yo Face– if that doesn’t make your nipples as hard as your murderboner, nothing will. This new shit features guest spots from the singers of a couple of sick new up and coming bands about whom I’ve already written, like Stone Cold Stunner, Short Fuse 59, and DeathSquad, and it makes whatever you’re currently listening to sound like fucking lullabies by comparison. Fuck all that black metal bullshit that is currently in vogue- unless you’re scampering around the gym in corpsepaint and are trying to compete in the 123 class, ditch that bitch shit and get on board with the real deal.
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=3473971734 size=large bgcol=333333 linkcol=0f91ff tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Clawhammer, Brawl Between Enemies, Carbine, Stone Cold Stunner, Short Fuse 59, Spawn of Disgust
For me, heavy, moshy hardcore has really faded to a mere shadow of its former self- in most regards it’s way overproduced, soft, and panders to the same weepy bitch crowd that numetal often did back in the 90s. Rare are the bands like early Throwdown, Mushmouth, and early Hatebreed, who brought the fucking mosh with a level of rage unmatched in other genres. It didn’t just sound fucking angry- it sounded borderline cruel in its ferocity. That’s what you get with Gutcheck, a Florida band that seems to be getting none of the accolades that should be heaped upon them- these motherfuckers should have people out brownshirting for this band, because they bring it harder than just about any other band in hardcore today. Vocals are pretty reminiscent of Terrible from BL13, which is awesome, and the music itself reminds me a lot of Mushmouth/Out To Win (who you should check out if you don’t know em).
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=586199203 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: early Hatebreed/Shattered Realm/Irate/Mushmouth, Jesus Piece (another band definitely worth checking out), Knocked Loose, Harms Way
Imagine, if you would, that Meshuggah listened to nothing but downtempo deathcore for five years, then got a sick new vocalist, tuned to the lowest audible tuning possible, then decided that wasn’t low enough and just replaced their strings with bass strings- that’s False Images. This shit is so fucking heavy it feels like an auaral assault that is prefacing an alien invasion, being slammed into your ears as binary code and your brain just translates it into sound before bleeding and turning you into a remote-controlled murder machine for our new alien overlords. This shit is so heavy, Hafthor can’t pick it up off the ground. Just preposterous.
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=1608484956 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
Sceleratus isn’t available on Bandcamp, but their first EP was. I dropped it in here if you wanted something to listen to inline as you read. Otherwise, it’s on Youtube.
FFO: I honestly can’t think of a single band this heavy. If you like downtempo shit overflowing with breakdowns and ever liked djent, your dick will go from six to midnight listening to this.
Spawn of Disgust- Dominance
“YOU AIN’T READY WHEN WE STEP UP ON YOU
YOU WON’T GET A OPEN CASKET
FACE TO FACE YOU STILL TRY TO FRONT US
WE WILL DROP YOU IN A SECOND
TRY TO CRAWL BACK INTO YOUR CRACK HOME
WE WILL CUT YOU OPEN”
Spawn of Disgust is just straight up tough guy beatdown hardcore. Throw on your favorite jersey, basketball shorts, balaclava, and New Balances, get-out-there-and-break-some-fucking-necks beatdown. Fight-your-own-mama style beatdown. I think I’ve made my point.
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=2835752373 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Older shit like Sworn Enemy, Shattered Realm, Irate, and Merauder, plus newer shit like Mercy Blow and Stone Cold Stunner.
Monasteries- Pulmonary Failure
Lemme just say this- if the breakdown at 1:48 of the “Larsen Trap” doesn’t blow your fucking skirt up, you might be dead inside. Monsteries (FB) calls themselves technical deathcore, but I think that does this band a disservice. Frankly, I’m not sure what to call them- they’re a combination of slam deathcore and djent, with some of the most insane vocals since Screamin’ Jay Hawkins invented the death growl in “I Put A Spell on You.” While I don’t think the vocalist has ever tied a man to a post and duct taped a grenade into his mouth, then pulled the pin and walked away laughing, Monasteries is still one of the most brutal things you could load onto your phone.
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=1940899120 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: A Night In Texas, Angelmaker, Infant Annihilator, Acrania, Human Error, Mental Cruelty
Like Gutcheck and bands like Knocked Loose, Tryhard brings that old school late 90s moshiness that I loved out of Buried Alive, Bury Your Dead, and early Hatebreed. It’s the type of ragey shit that will have you stomping and barking lyrics throughout a deadlift workout, and when people ask you what the lyrics are you can actually tell them, because the vocals are intelligible. They won’t be for everyone, but for me they’re a nice change of pace from slam and deathcore, and inject a little extra fury into your lifting session… and that’s all we really need in life, right?
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=2338475257 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Old Hatebreed, Buy Your Dead, Mushmouth, Knocked Loose, Expire, Gutcheck
Chains of Agony- Ephemeral Existence
How I ever found myself listening to this band, I’ll never know, because I cannot stand blackened anything as a general rule, and the thrice overdubbed vocals should annoy me even more than their fucking ridiculous guitar solos. In spite of all that, I rock the shit out of this band. They’re more of a writing band for me, as opposed to a lifting band, but they’re in the rotation nevertheless. The vocals are evil as shit, and the music is tight as shit. If Within Destruction, Cradle of Filth, and Nekrogoblikon had a baby, this is what they’d produce.
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=3164707086 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Within Destruction, Cradle of Filth, Cannibal Grandpa, Shrine of Malice
We all have trouble believing the French are pussies- about the only thing they’ve done to disabuse us of that notion in the last 200 years is this. Parjure brings the fucking beatdown like they rolled out of a club in New Jersey in 2001, and they were nice enough to transport us back to those halcyon days by injecting a little rapcore into some stellar slam beatdown. Seriously, this is exactly what anyone who misses the day when someone would throw a bit of tough guy rap into a song just for the street cred, and they managed to pull it off rather than looking like a low rent version of POD. As one of the reviewers on bandcamp so aptly stated, “Shit is fucking dank, just buy it.”
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=2092286315 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Short Fuse 59, Enemy Mind, Spawn of Disgust, The Projects, Shattered Realm, E-Town Concrete, Hed PE, Chamber of Malice
Paleface- Chapter 1: From the Gallows
When the band is slam beatdown and they kick their EP off with “YO, THIS IS PALEFACE. FUCK YOU!” you know you’re in for a good time. Paleface doesn’t have all of the production quality of some of these other, more polished albums, they make up for it in brutal fucking beatdown. Any merch guys who try to sell shit at a Paleface show better wear a fucking help, because the crowdkilling at a Paleface show is gonna be on a mass murder level. And if that didn’t sell you, they have guest spots from Mental Cruelty, xViciousx, Vulvodynia, and Parjure, showing they definitely meld the hardest parts of beatdown with the heaviest slam there is.
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=1264915855 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Mental Cruetly, Vulvodynia, Spawn of Disgust, Stone Cold Stunner, Short Fuse 59, Chamber of Malice
Shrine of Malice describes themselves as blackened deathcore, which I suppose is accurate because they’re apparently kvlt as fuck, even if I hear basically no blackened anything in this shit. It’s right up there with Within Destruction, Infant Annihilator, and bands of that hyper brutal, technical deathcore feel, but without the slams that Within Destruction throw in on the regular. Though it’s not quite got the same Deontay Wilder’s right hook kind of punch, the vocals in SOM actually seem to trend more to tough guy-sounding than gutterals. Basically, they make for an awesome changeup in any deathcore-heavy playlist, especially because they’ve got guest vocals from other badass deathcore bands like Enterprise Earth, The Senate (which is a fucking rad Star Wars themed deathcore band), and Chelsea Grin. And for those adolescents’ panty-sniffing, Lolita-loving, Pikachu hentai-loving anime fans out there, these guys clearly seem to share your penchant for Berserk-style shit, so at least give the vid above a look even if you hate deathcore.
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=573493393 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Monasteries, Infant Annihilator, Enterprise Earth, Acrania, Aversions Crown, Shadow of Intent, Signs of the Swarm
Last, but not least, we’ve got Hate Diplomacy. This band grew out of the ashes of the now-resurrected Myspace sensation Waking the Cadaver, the true progenitors of the flat-brim slam I yammer on about so much. Hate Diplomacy went a bit of a different way- whereas before they were hardcore influenced death metal, they are now death metal influenced hardcore. The lyrics are decidedly political, and in the case of my favorite track on the album, Believe in Yourself, downright fucking posi. Don’s vocals are basically ultra-low toughguy growls rather than his alien-inspired gutterals, cricket chirps, and pig squals. This album fucking slams, and prepares us all for the WTC album that is dropping this year.
“TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT. GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT. RISING TO THE TOP. GOING FOR THE BIG WIN.”
[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=3690986451 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]
FFO: Waking the Cadaver, ehhh these guys feel unique to me. Just fucking hit play. Posi beatdown hardcore played by death metallers doesn’t exist in this universe.
Frankly, I could write endlessly about this shit, but there is simply not enough time in my life, plus this would just become a blog about the shit I like rather than lifting. In any event, I realize that fans of the old blog are expecting movie recommendations as well, but this thing has already run long and adding my occult library caused it to run longer. Thus, look for part two of this installment of “Books, Moves, and Music that’ll Make You ____” tomorrow with an extra section and a bonus listing of the books in my occult library. Til then, keep it bloodier than Stephanie’s phone sex. And holy shit, am I tempted to call that number- I am wildly curious about how depraved that broad gets, and even more curious about what she pays weekly for therapy.
