**ChAoS and PAIN’S List of People Who Can Get Fucked.

Jamie Chaos

October 14, 2009

This is by no means a comprehensive list, and certainly has about as much to do with strength training and nutrition do with what sort of socks cats should wear in the summer. In any event, watch this short video and I shall commence my list thereafter.

So, without further adieu, ChAoS and PAIN’s list of people who are in dire need of a stabbing:

Mike Quinn’s pissed, too.

People who wear gloves in the gym- it’s fucking gay. Now, don’t get me wrong fuckers, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to take a shot in the mouth, if that’s what you’re into, but there’s gay, and then there’s wearing fucking gloves in the gym. Alexander the Great was gay, and he probably cut more throats while he had a cock in the ear than most people ever get to cut in their entire lives. He was not, however, wearing a feather fucking boa or weightlifting gloves while he did so. Smooth, girlish hands are for women. Let’s leave it that way, shall we?
People who wear belts while lifting any weight that would not require a forklift for spotting, or who wear a belt while doing the following: cable rows, bicep curls, or, fuck, anything that is not a HEAVY Olympic or powerlifting movement. Furthermore, if it’s a nylon belt you’ve ever seen anyone at Gold’s wear, you can get fucked twice, because it’s a worthless piece of shit that serves as nothing more than a visual accessory announcing to the world that you intend to put on some gloves, and possibly be non-Alexander the Great gay in the locker room as a cool down after the workout.
People who don’t realize that “a lot” is TWO FUCKING WORDS. Know how I know? BECAUSE I LEARNED IT IN THE FOURTH FUCKING GRADE. Shocking, right? Well, Bodyspace, get on the fucking ball and start posting at a 4th Grade level. Fuck my life, I hate 99.99% of the people on that disgrace to intellectualism.
People who are incapable of utilizing the proper they’re/their/there in the course of general conversation, or you’re/your, for that matter. See the above post- same thing. It’s astonishing that anyone who cannot discern the difference can even turn on their computer.
Anyone who thinks that 12-15 reps on any lift will “get you ripped”.
People who curl in the squat rack has been done to death. How about people who occupy any piece of equipment at any time doing bullshit, light weight, useless exercises that they saw in Men’s Fitness?
Anyone who says like more than twice in a sentence, and more than three times in 5 minutes.
Anyone who watches any show with a Kardashian on it and is not filled with disgust and hatred for the entire human race. And their families, for that matter, because these are a special people whose genetic code needs to be removed from the collective pool forthwith.

Even if she violates any of the above rules, we could let this one slide.

Looking at the last three, pretty much every American female between the ages of 14 and 30.

That’s pretty much it for today. When I become Overlord of the United States, I solemnly swear to liquidate anyone who is guilty of any of the above, so help me Norse Gods.

If there’s anyone you guys wish to add, comment away.

Don’t fuck with Chuck.

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via FoxyTunes

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

12 responses to “**ChAoS and PAIN’S List of People Who Can Get Fucked.”

Jamie Lewis

October 14, 2009

By the way, the chick in this blog, and the one with the Paleolithic chick, is Pauline Nordin. She's pretty much essential to the human race. Her site is http://www.fighterdiet.com/ in case you're curious. I've got no real reason to mark out to her except that she's ridiculously hot, and have no real use for her diet regime, given that it's for chicks. Chicks should definitely pay some heed to that diet, though, as it appears to work.
The Six

October 15, 2009

Nice list Jamie.
It's nothing new but I'm pretty fucking sick of the talkers. All the Chatty Kathy pole smokers who hang out on the bench drinking gatorade, doing each others hair and trading tips for terminal vaginitis. Here's a thought retards, shut up and lift or get the fuck off. There are men who want to use that equipment.
Bill Shiffler

October 15, 2009

I say, good research on finding those pics there sir. Hottest I've ever seen a squat performed.

Also, I'm holding a CrossFit Total meet here on November 7th if you happen to be around.

CrossFit Total= Squat, Press, Deadlift. Same as a PL meet except press instead of bench.

Carry on.
Jamie Lewis

October 15, 2009

The Six- agreed.

Crossfit Bill- I'd love to, but I will, alas, be stuck here that weekend. I'll be up over thanksgiving, though, and will definitely be coming down to check out your jungle gym-pullup bar deal.
Doug Graves

October 15, 2009

I hate those things alot too!
BodyByGamma

October 16, 2009

Awesome Post as Always. I met you at the strongman competition @ iron sport. Keep up the great work and great blogs. May the Norse gods slaughter your enemies.
Jamie Lewis

October 22, 2009

May they indeed! Thanks bro!
Anonymous

October 22, 2009

Pauline Nordin: Showing the weights they don't scare me? It's metal, "they" don't have feelings. Also – not a very original idea. Lame.
Jamie Lewis

October 30, 2009

She's also got some weird "morality". Well, then, to me, basically all morality is weird. Apparently she won't pose nude though, so that's a huge tick mark in the negative column in my book.
AzzUk23

March 12, 2010

you – the person reading this

your – something that belongs to you

you're – this means 'you are' as in you are thick as shit if you need this explaining – I will let it pass if you're a Viking and English is your fifth language after killing, rape, hard work and ancient Scandinavian

there – there object is over there

their – HIT advocates should all come to the same end as their fat crackhead leader

No more excuses – Americans use the worst English in the world. FACT

Azz
Anonymous

July 9, 2010

How about the fuckstains who wrote Body By Science? They claim you can attain maximal muscular development by training for 10 minutes a week. On machines.

In fairness I thought their section on diet was actually not bad, but they can still get raped.
Blogger

September 24, 2017

I bet you won't guess which muscle in your body is the muscle that eliminates joint and back pain, anxiety and excessive fat.

If this "hidden" super powerful primal muscle is healthy, we are healthy.