Plague of Strength

Eight years ago, I experienced a phenomenon in a movie theater that was unrepeated until this past summer.  As I know you’re audience, I know what you’re thinking- that phenomenon was not a blowjob in a movie theater, which I get fortnightly from a Mexican prostitute named Guadalupe.  I insist that she call me “El Comandante” and salute my penis when it’s at full attention, and to never, ever look me in the eyes.  The phenomenon to which I was actually referring was actually the call-and-response moaning coming from the women and men of the theater whenever Jessica Biel or Ryan Reynolds showed up onscreen in Blade Trinity, which was like bearing auditory witness to a massive, Calligula-style orgy replete with donkeys, midgets, golden, brown, and Roman showers, and just a hint of pederasty.  I swear on my life I saw a chick masturbating in Reynolds’ shirtless scene, and I’m pretty sure there were dudes jacking it into empty, upturned popcorn bags when Jessica Biel did pretty much anything in that film.  Since then, I’ve not heard overwhelming appreciation from the audience of a theater in that sort of an overwhelming sexual manner until Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson mocked us with the fact that none of us will ever even engage in consensual hand holding with either of them for two hours during the Avengers.

Frankly, I’d never seen a movie with Johansson prior to the Avengers’ movies, since I don’t hate myself enough to sit through “The Nanny Diaries” or “A Love Song For Bobby Long”.  Likewise, Hemsworth was a total unknown to me other than as “the guy who was in Star Trek” for five minutes.  When I googled him to see who was going to play Thor, here’s what I found:

While I realize that a dude who’s 6’4″ is pretty fucking skinny at 220, most of us should be pretty fucking happy to look that vaginal-lip-smacking good while “skinny”.  In any event, Hemsworth broke his ass in the gym to get this look, and ended up doing something similar to what Tom Hardy did for Warrior to get the cuts popping- he trained around the clock and ate his face off, then cut down and trained even harder to lean out right before shooting began.

Hemsworth’s trained with three different guys- jacked-as-fuck kettlebell trainer and director of Michigan-based personal trainers Art of Strength Mike Knight (pictured above right), Aussie rugger Steve Walsh, and former Navy Seal Duffy Gaver.  As such, you’ll find a couple of different accounts of how Hemsworth trains, but it you look closely, you’ll see they re all pretty similar. Hemsworth always trains at least five, and usually six days a week, twice a day.   He lifts far heavier than you’d probably expect (rep wise, as there are no accounts of how much he can lift), which is a refreshing change of pace from the typical bullshit you see with actors.  

Initially, Hemsworth focused on building mass, as he’d never really lifted before.  He was a brawler growing up, and he and his brothers kept busy by beating the shit out of each other , throwing knives at each other, surfing, playing rugby, and doing their best Ong Bak impersonations by practicing thai boxing.  There was likely a little bit of lifting involved in all of that, but when you and your brothers punch each other in the face instead of saying hello, bench pressing likely becomes a bit too dangerous to be performed without a crew of spotters.  As such, Hemsworth’s body was attuned to a lot of physical activity, but no real heavy lifting.  Thus, he had to change his mindset entirely to pack on some mass, which he did in a hurry.  To gain the mass, Hemsworth embarked on an eight week bulking plan, followed by a four week cutting phase.  Here’s his eight week bulking plan:

Week 1: 4 sets of 4-6 reps
Week 2: 4 sets of 6-8 reps
Week 3: 4 sets of 8-12 reps
Week 4-8: 4 sets of 4-6 reps

For this he had 3 workouts performed twice each per week, with a break on Sunday.
Day 1:  Chest and Back
Bench press
Bent-over row
Weighted pull-up
Weighted dip

Day 2: Legs
Squat
Deadlift
Hamstring curl

Day 3: Arms
Weighted chin-up
Close-grip bench press

Nothing up to this point is particularly earth shattering, and it’s likely a lot of you are thinking you’ve tried that shit and it hasn’t worked.  I can tell you why, very simply- you have nothing but your own motivation to get you through a workout, whereas Hemsworth has a crazy ass paycheck and a trainer following him around with a garbage bag filled with food, screaming at him to eat, at all times.  According to Mike Knight, “Chris needed to bulk up, so it was a matter of upping his calories so that he could gain up to two pound a week. Towards the end of training he was eating 6,000 calories a day but working out so much that he was burning them right off. His diet included huge quantities of grains, vegetables, lean protein and potatoes”(Smith).  “Eat your fucking face off and you will grow”, as the good book says.  Apparently, it worked a little too well, as Hemsworth hit 235 lbs and had to drop to 220 to fit into his costume.  To do so, he switched his workout and diet completely. His diet became paleo, and his workouts looked far more like Crossfit than the power bodybuilding routines he followed to gain weight (McGuinness and Warner).  

The aforementioned plan was the one concocted by Hemsworth’s Aussie trainer, and under Knight Hemsworth changed things slightly.  Rather than an eight week bulking phase, Hemsworth did “12 weeks of classic bodybuilder exercises that included inclined presses, Turkish get-ups, windmills, squats and pull-ups. To add bulk, Knight integrated kettlebell weights, a great metabolic tool that builds up core strength.  According to Knight, the heavier a kettlebell, the safer. ‘Never hold less than 50 pounds in each hand. Anything below that and you’ll be tempted to use your arms to lift the weights. This is when you’ll get hurt. When using kettlebells, you need to use your hips to do the lift'(McGuinness).  If your socks are knocked off by a recommendation that no one should touch anything under a 50 lb kettlebell or that anyone in the history of ever gained mass with kettlebells, you’re not the only one.  One look at Knight, however, and you start to think you might not know as much about kettlebells as you thought you did.

Some of his fat loss workouts looked like this:
Circuit 1: 
Tabata 
(20sec on/10sec off):
Double kettlebell squats – four rounds
Eight rounds of snatches – eight rounds

Circuit 2:
Kettlebell swings – 30sec two-hand, 30sec right-hand-only swings, 30sec left-hand-only swings, 30sec 
alternate swings
Cleans – 5 right, 5 left, 4 right, 4 left, 3 right, 3 left, 2 right, 2 left, 1 right, 1 left, then back up to 5 each side for a total of 60 reps with no rest

Circuit 3:
Turkish get-ups – 5min continuous
Windmill – 5 each side

Pretty fucking lean.

His workouts varied from day to day, but were always complexes.  According to Knight, Hemsworth did a “total-body circuit based around classic strongman moves, such as log presses, tire flips, sledgehammers and prowler sprints, as well as circuits 
with kettlebells of varying weights”(Warner).  With Knight, he focused on a combination of bodybuilding and mixed martial arts to lean out in addition to a “total-body circuit that included sledge hammers, “ropes gone wild,” log presses, Prowler sprints and, once again, kettlebells”(McGuinness). Their mainstay was something Knight calls “ropes gone wild”,which are pretty much Battle Ropes- with 55-foot ropes in each hand, spazz like you’re having a fucking suizure.  For more information on these, see any fat person in an unconventional gym who’s studiously avoiding weightlifting or any self-proclaimed MMA practitioner. 

Day 1: Chest/Shoulders/Boxing
Morning: Chest and Shoulders
Dumbbell Flies- 3 x 12, 10, 8 reps
Barbell Bench Press (Medium Grip)- 3 x 12, 10, 8 
Bent-Over Lateral Raise- 3 x 15, 12, 12
Lateral Raise- 3 x 15, 12, 10 
Arnold Press- 3 x 12, 10, 8 

Evening: Boxing and abs
Bag: 5 sets of 3-minute rounds
Focus Pads: 5 sets of 3-minute rounds on
Skipping: 5 sets of 3-minute rounds

Ab Circuit, repeat three times
Prone Plank- 60 second holds
Lateral Plank- 60 second holds
Roman Chair Leg Raise- 20 reps
Cable Crunch- 20 reps
Oblique Crunches- 20 reps

Day 2: Back/Arms/Boxing/Abs
Morning: Back & Arms
Chin-Up- 3 x 15, 12, 10 
Barbell Deadlift- 3 x 10, 8, 6 
Superset:
  {Barbell Curl- 3 x 10, 8, 6
  {French Press- 3 x 10, 8, 6 

Evening: Boxing and abs
Bag: 5 sets of 3-minute rounds
Focus Pads: 5 sets of 3-minute rounds on
Skipping: 5 sets of 3-minute rounds
Same Ab circuit as before

Day 3: Surfing/Legs
Morning: Surfing
Since most of you don’t have access to an ocean, 30 minutes of HIIT cardio will suffice.

Evening: Legs
Superset:
  {Leg Extensions- 3 x 10, 8, 6 reps
  {Seated Leg Curl- 3 x 10, 8, 6 reps
Barbell Full Squat- 3 x 10, 8, 6 reps

Day 4: Core/Cardio
Morning: Abs
Circuit listed above

There are, of course, as many ways to get big-ass arms and shoulders as there are dudes who do nothing but arms, chest, and shoulders in every gym, which is to say, a metric fuckton.  There might be more ways to accomplish this goal than there are ways for college girls to debase themselves for free t-shirts at spring break, though statisticians are still comparing the data.  Pantless statisticians with a lot of very sticky spreadsheets.  For the Avengers, Hemsworth used another celebrity trainer, Duffy Gaver.  Gaver’s apparently trained everyone your girlfriend’s ever quietly rubbed one out to in Hollywood, such as Channing Tatum, Ashton Kutcher (who knew that motherfucker lifted weights?), Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Matt Damon.  To give your girlfriend more fodder for her spank bank in the Avengers, Gaver had Hemsworth “lift big and eat bigger. Hemsworth downed huge amounts of chicken and red meat. For thickness, Gaver had Chris rock a variety of heavy rows – bent-over barbell, dumbbell, machine — plus lat pull-downs, extra arm work, and shoulder moves”(Smith)  Gaver claimed there really wasn’t anything too esoteric or unique- in fact, Gaver stated explicitly that most of the muscle could be attributed to the “a ton of food”(Character Builder) he had Hemsworth eat for the film, most of which was the standard bodybuilder fare of chicken, broccoli, and brown rice.  Likewise, Gaver had Hemsworth train like a bodybuilder, claiming that the routines used by guys like Arnold and Franco are the types of routines you should follow if you want to look like the bodybuilders of that era, which was their goal(Ibid).  Thus, he had Hemsworth doing high volume workouts that consisted primarily of heavy shoulder, arm and back work.  Once he gained more weight than he needed, he switched to Crossfit style workouts and cut his carbs to lean out (Chris Hemsworth).

Before you guys start screaming about Hemsworth being a genetic freak who should have pursued a young Austrian’s dream and headed for the Olympia stage, slow your roll.  More than one guy has achieved this exact transformation for the very same movies.  That’s right- not one, but three guys basically did the exact same thing and got the exact same physique, and none of them started out huge.  the other two guys to whom I’m referring are Hemsworth’s stunt doubles in the thor movies and the Avengers.  His stunt double in the Thor series is thrice-named British stuntman Billy Holland Hanton, who actually looks better than Hemsworth upon close inspection.  Hanton, who’s four inches shorter than Hemsworth at the same weight, bulked up to play Thor after specializing in free running and gymnastics his entire life. That’s right- this guy is generally far smaller than Hemsworth’s 220 lbs, and has served as a stunt double  for Christian Bale in the Dark Knight (190lbs) and Daniel Craig in Quantum Solace (180 lbs) .  Because he usually walks around 30 to 40 lbs lighter (or rather, runs around like a goofball jumping off rooftops and doing flips all over the place like a ninja on absinthe), Hanton busted out two a days, six days a week, for 12 weeks to get in Thor shape (Holmes).

Because this article’s gone on long enough and this broad’s language is hilariously stilted, I’ll just repost the original in its bizarrely formal form:

“Mr. Holland Hanton’s first workout is around lunchtime. He begins with a light, 10-minute jog on a treadmill to warm up his muscles. Mr. Holland Hanton then goes into a training circuit, beginning with a 90-second sprint on the treadmill at a steep incline. He then does 12 underarm chin ups, 12 dips, 12 push ups with his feet raised on a bench, 30 squats and 25 calf raises on each leg. The circuit takes around two minutes. He repeats it four more times, for a total of five sets, with no rest in between.

Mr. Holland Hanton says he prefers exercises where he is lifting his own body weight, like squats and dips, rather than using free weights. “The old-school kind of training regime works for me,” he says. “I need to be able to throw my body around however I’m asked to. I don’t want to be too bulky.”

Weights enter the equation at the end of the day—after rehearsals or shooting—when Mr. Holland Hanton returns to the gym to focus on whatever muscle group needs to appear most prominent for that job. For “Thor: The Dark World,” he is now stunting for Mr. Hemsworth, who is particularly muscular with big arms. “Chris is in the most incredible shape I’ve ever seen anyone,” Mr. Holland Hanton says.
So, between sprints, he focuses on exercises like bicep curls and tricep pull downs.
The circuit training approach works well for him, he says, because it shocks his system. He often changes the order or number of repetitions. “You never get used to what you are doing because it’s different things in short spurts.”

The DietOf all the things his job requires, Mr. Holland Hanton says the diet is the most difficult. “I didn’t realize how hard it would be psychologically,” he says.
As a teen, Mr. Holland Hanton says he ate whatever he wanted with no consequences. He continued that approach through his first couple of movies, often skipping breakfast or eating a candy bar for energy before a workout.

That began to change two years ago, when Mr. Holland Hanton wasn’t getting as lean as he needed to be. Beginning with “Green Lantern,” he began experimenting with diet restrictions. For his current film, he has placed himself on a diet with no white carbohydrates and dairy and small meals every two hours. He never eats until he is full, which he says helps keep his body from storing food.

Each morning, Mr. Holland Hanton eats within a half-hour of waking. Breakfast is protein-packed, including two boiled eggs with a chicken breast or tuna on a bed of spinach with avocado. He has small snacks at specific times all day long, ranging from nuts and blueberries to more chicken and tuna. He mixes in nonstarchy vegetables, such as broccoli and “good” carbohydrates, like brown rice or sweet potatoes. Once a week, he enjoys a “cheat day,” with something like bread or chocolate”(Holmes).

Nothing shocking there, either- he eats a shitload of clean foods, trains twice a day, six days a week, and utilizes circuit training to get lean.  Just like Hemsworth.  Exactly like Hemsworth, in fact.  The other stuntman who doubled Hemsworth, Matthew LeFevour, had pretty much the same thing to say- he was constantly lifting to get big.  “I never get out of shape but, I have walked around at 195-200 lbs most of my adult life and I need to hit 220 and lean to double Chris. This time around I worked on 90% of the sets. That is a guess but, there were not too many that I missed”(DCMarvelFreshman).  

So, it comes down to this:

• train six days a week, no exceptions
• train twice a day if possible
• use heavy compound movements to gain size, then circuits and complexes to refine it
• eat big to get big, and eat paleo to get ripped

PS- If you want to get laid tonight, show this post to your girlfriend.  Chris Hemsworth is like viagra mixed with Spanish Fly and catnip for chicks.  You might want to bust out a couple of situps while she’s reading though, because, you know, abs.

Bullman, Brian.  Thor’s Thunderous Workout.  Bodybuilding.com.  Apr 2011.  Web.  2 Dec 2012.  http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/learn-how-thor-packed-on-20-pounds-of-muscle.html

Character Builder: Duffy Gaver “The Avengers” Interview.  http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/avengers-interview-personal-trainer-duffy-gaver.html

Chris Hemsworth on his workout for Thor.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKTz9xZYPRA

DCMarvelFreshman.  Chris Hemsworth’s ‘Thor’ Stunt Double Matthew LeFevour Dishes On THE AVENGERS.  Comicbookmovie.com.  27 Feb 2012.  http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/MarvelFreshman/news/?a=55408#cyve3uJvPXILEiGz.99

Holmes, Elizabeth.  Building  body for Bond, Batman, and more.  Wall Street Journal.  13 Nov 2012.  Web. 2 Dec 2012.  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323894704578114922368500276.html

McGuinness, Romina.  The Thor workout: How ‘Avengers’ star Chris Hemsworth got his biceps1 May 2012.  Web.  2 Dec 2012.  http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1141924–the-thor-workout-how-avengers-star-chris-hemsworth-got-his-biceps

Smith, Cassie.  Avengers Interview: Chris Hemsworth And Scarlett Johansson’s Personal Trainer.  Bodybulding.com.  1 May 2012.  Web.  2 Dec 2012.  http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/avengers-interview-personal-trainer-duffy-gaver.html

Warner, Joe.  Hammer time.  Men’s Fitness UK.  Apr 2011.  Web  2 Dec 2012.  http://www.mensfitness.co.uk/exercise/celebrity_bodies/6766/official_chris_hemsworth_thor_workout.html