Your cart is currently empty!
*Eat Like a Motherfucking Caveman, Part Zwei
So, you by now have grasped the concept that people have not always eaten the same foods, right? I hope to fucking god you have, or else I’ll have to send Tommy Boy to your seat to hit you in the head with a hammer, because you’re a fucking retard.So, back in the day, motherfuckers wandered around with spears and rocks, killing anything they could and eating every last morsel. With the advent of cooking, consumption of all foods became easier, as it reduced the amount of mastication necessary to swallow and digest the food. Still, humans only ate what they could find, which essentially amounted to meat, nuts, seeds, and veggies, with the occasional handful of berries thrown in for good measure. Each locality had its own distinctive selection of flora and fauna, but they all essentially consisted of the same basic food groups. Though I can hardly fathom why, people in the Mideast and Southeast Asia began eating a shitload of grasses, and planting them, which eventually resulted in modern rice and grains. Shitty, I know. When that occurred, people shrunk in stature, developed metabolic diseases that were at that time unknown, and generally fucked themselves right in the ass.
From this, we know what not to eat, and why. Here’s the list:
Soy- For the love of all that’s holy, avoid this shit like the plague if you’re a non-Asian man. Asians might have adapted to eating that crap, but it’s sick, unhealthy, and downright unnatural for any non-Asian male to eat it. An unpublished study from Dr. Mike Fitzpatrick of New Zealand associates soy consumption with biological changes in the function of sex glands, thyroid, and central nervous system with soy isoflavones. Additionally, soy contains high concentrations of phytic acid, which blocks the uptake of calcium, zinc, and magnesium. Low zinc throws your copper levels out of whack, which in turn destroys your thyroid function. Formula with soy in it delivers more estrogen to the babies who consume it than is contained in 10 birth control pills! For the love of your test levels, avoid that shit.(1, pp. 79-81)
Beans in general- Many beans are extremely toxic if consumed raw (like soybeans and lima beans), while all others are inedible. All beans contain alkaloids that protect them from animals (lima beans contain high levels of cyanide), and fava beans contain 3 different toxins that cause favism in some people (even if cooked). (2, p. 56) Even grean beans contain prussic acid, which is toxic in high levels. Thus, beans are bad, mmmmkay? Peanuts and cashews are beans, by the way, and cashews grow from a plant related to poison ivy, so they can be fatally toxic raw (it’s one of the most common plant-related calls to the Poison Control Center).
Tubers- Like I stated in the previous post, I’m not sure as to the reasoning here, as it’s well documented that hunter-gatherers and ancient hominids ate tubers. Near as I can tell, it’s just that modern tubers are far more starchy than their ancient predecessors. Turnips are ok’d by Cordain, but poo-pooed by Audette, which is silly to me, as they’re hardly high in carbs, as beets are. Beets are essentially sugar in a root form.
Corn- Corn’s off limits due to the high concentration of aflatoxins in them (also in grains and peanuts). Aflatoxins are produced by Asparilla Rust, and are linked to liver, pancreatic, and esophogeal cancer. They are theus bad. (2, p. 55)
Grains- Wheat, corn, rice, oats, barley, rye, and other seeds of grasses require milling and long cooking to be made edible. When ground, raw grain and water make paper mache, and causes severe digestive distress in all primates. As such, it’s wise to avoid them. (2, p. 54)
What’s this mean for you? Well, it’s food for fucking thought, ok? I combine this diet with Metabolic Typing, which I’ll address when I’m good and ready, and carbohydrate cycling to make my diet. It all sounds like a massive pain in the ass, but it’s actually pretty fun. Thus, prepare yourselves for some fun in the coming weeks.
- Tacchi, Carol Simon. The Crazy Makers: How the Food Industry is Destroying Our Brains and Harming Our Children. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 2007.
- Audette, Neanderthin.
—————-
Now playing: I Shot The Sheriff – Scapegoat
via FoxyTunes
Search
Latest Posts
Latest Comments
Categories
Archives
- October 2024 (1)
- February 2024 (1)
- July 2023 (1)
- May 2023 (1)
- April 2023 (2)
- March 2023 (4)
- February 2023 (1)
- January 2023 (1)
- August 2022 (1)
- June 2022 (1)
- May 2022 (1)
- March 2022 (1)
- February 2022 (1)
- January 2022 (2)
- December 2021 (8)
- November 2021 (8)
- October 2021 (22)
- September 2021 (6)
- August 2021 (12)
- July 2021 (7)
- June 2021 (6)
- May 2021 (7)
- April 2021 (4)
- March 2021 (7)
- February 2021 (9)
- January 2021 (6)
- December 2020 (3)
- November 2020 (7)
- October 2020 (7)
- September 2020 (4)
- August 2020 (6)
- July 2020 (6)
- June 2020 (5)
- May 2020 (9)
- April 2020 (6)
- March 2020 (8)
- February 2020 (9)
- January 2020 (11)
- December 2019 (10)
- November 2019 (5)
- October 2019 (8)
- September 2019 (6)
- August 2019 (4)
- July 2019 (6)
- June 2019 (10)
- May 2019 (9)
- April 2019 (5)
- March 2019 (8)
- February 2019 (8)
- January 2019 (9)
- December 2018 (6)
- November 2018 (3)
- September 2018 (1)
- August 2018 (1)
- July 2018 (5)
- June 2018 (2)
- May 2018 (5)
- April 2018 (4)
- March 2018 (3)
- February 2018 (3)
- January 2018 (1)
- December 2017 (2)
- November 2017 (2)
- October 2017 (5)
- September 2017 (1)
- August 2017 (2)
- July 2017 (1)
- June 2017 (3)
- October 2016 (2)
- August 2016 (1)
- March 2016 (1)
- December 2015 (1)
- November 2015 (1)
- October 2015 (1)
- August 2015 (2)
- July 2015 (3)
- June 2015 (1)
- April 2015 (1)
- March 2015 (1)
- February 2015 (2)
- January 2015 (1)
- December 2014 (2)
- November 2014 (1)
- October 2014 (3)
- September 2014 (3)
- August 2014 (5)
- July 2014 (5)
- June 2014 (5)
- May 2014 (3)
- April 2014 (5)
- March 2014 (6)
- February 2014 (7)
- January 2014 (8)
- December 2013 (2)
- November 2013 (4)
- October 2013 (6)
- September 2013 (5)
- August 2013 (5)
- July 2013 (5)
- June 2013 (5)
- May 2013 (4)
- April 2013 (4)
- March 2013 (5)
- February 2013 (6)
- January 2013 (7)
- December 2012 (4)
- November 2012 (5)
- October 2012 (5)
- September 2012 (9)
- August 2012 (7)
- July 2012 (7)
- June 2012 (8)
- May 2012 (9)
- April 2012 (9)
- March 2012 (5)
- February 2012 (7)
- January 2012 (5)
- December 2011 (4)
- November 2011 (10)
- October 2011 (5)
- September 2011 (4)
- August 2011 (6)
- July 2011 (5)
- June 2011 (4)
- May 2011 (5)
- April 2011 (4)
- March 2011 (5)
- February 2011 (4)
- January 2011 (3)
- December 2010 (7)
- November 2010 (12)
- October 2010 (13)
- September 2010 (11)
- August 2010 (14)
- July 2010 (11)
- June 2010 (7)
- May 2010 (8)
- April 2010 (11)
- March 2010 (4)
- February 2010 (7)
- January 2010 (13)
- December 2009 (6)
- November 2009 (6)
- October 2009 (9)
- September 2009 (12)
- August 2009 (5)
- July 2009 (7)
- June 2009 (9)
- May 2009 (7)
- April 2009 (6)
- March 2009 (9)
- February 2009 (7)
Tags
Newsletter
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
Insert the contact form shortcode with the additional CSS class- "wydegrid-newsletter-section"
By signing up, you agree to the our terms and our Privacy Policy agreement.
One response to “*Eat Like a Motherfucking Caveman, Part Zwei”
New Diet Taps into Pioneering Concept to Help Dieters Lose 20 Pounds within Just 21 Days!