On nearly every strength training and bodybuilding website on the internet, there’s some jackass asking a question to which the answer should be obvious- “will jerking off/fucking negatively impact my workouts?” Now, putting aside the fact that said moron should drown himself in a fucking bucket of bleach for even contemplating abstinence were the answer to be in the affirmative, allow me to lay this sick dog to rest:
Sexual activity and badassery are inextricably intertwined.
This should not be anything that needs to be investigated, as it seems about as obvious as anything could possibly be.
Watch porn. Men and womens’ test level raise 100% and 80% in response to sexual stimuli. That means that both of your libidos will rise accordingly, due to the fact that both men and womens’ sex drives are dependant on their testosterone levels. (New Scientist) Additionally, studies have shown that sexual stimuli will increase both LH production and test levels, so not only will your cock be rock hard, fellas, but you’ll be droppin’ motherfucking loads like Nick Manning all the live long day. (Stoleru)
Fuck or masturbate (or both) AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. A study in Mexico showed that serum testosterone levels in rats rose markedly after two consecutive orgasms, and even further after four. (Hernandez) Additionally, “frequent sex improves sex hormone regulation in men and women, and boosts blood vessel health…. [and] Frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate enlargement and cancer.(JSM) On top of that, studies have shown that in addition to those positive hormonal fluctuations, cumming has positive effects on your endocrine system, and causes your body to produce more adrenaline, prolactin, and killer cells, which in turn improves immune system function.(BB.com) Thus, by getting off as much as humanly possible, you’re generating a shitload of testosterone in both men and women, leutinizing hormone in men, and improving your recovery time from hard workouts in both. It goes without saying that you’re also getting off, which means that you’ll have elevated levels of dopamine (which reduces pain and improves mood), and that you’ll be burning calories, which will make you leaner, in addition to improving your cardio.
For those guys, who like me, want kids like they want AIDS, there’s more good news with this type of a compulsive fucking/masturbating scheme- your sperm count drops like a motherfucker (to about 27% of norm). That means (though I’m not endorsing this) you can go bareback without the bare facts and not worry quite so much (Freund).
In the second half of this, I’ll go into a bit more detail, but in the meantime, use this as a reason to spend labor day laboring your ass off in the bedroom.
Sources:
New Scientist. 22 Aug 1998, p. 11.
Stoléru SG, Ennaji A, Cournot A, Spira A. LH pulsatile secretion and testosterone blood levels are influenced by sexual arousal in human males. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 1993;18(3):205-18.
Hernandez M , Soto-Cid A, Aranda-Abreu G, Díaz R, Rojas F, Garcia L, Toledo R, Manzo J. A study of the prostate, androgens and sexual activity of male rats. Reproductive Bio Endocrin. 2007, 5(11):1186/1477-7827-5-11. http://www.rbej.com/content/5/1/11/abstract/
Emmanuele A. Jannini, W, Fisher J, McMahon C. J Sex Med. 2009, 6: 2640-2648 Article first published online: 6 OCT 2009 | DOI: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01477
M. FREUND. EFFECT OF FREQUENCY OF EMISSION ON SEMEN OUTPUT AND AN ESTIMATE OF DAILY SPERM PRODUCTION IN MAN. J Reproduct Fertil. 1963 6: 269-286.
Anyone who would even contemplate an excuse not to fuck should be sterilised anyhow.
I remember hearing some dumbass at a house party 10 or so years ago talking like he was some authority on muscle building because he had just gotten out of jail and was "HUGE" now (you couldn't even tell he had ever worked out) going on about how the more you jerked off the smaller you would be. Made me laugh my ass off.
If you have no interest in blowing loads at all, you obviously have very little interest in reproduction, getting laid or even doing anything even remotely aggressive in nature at all. Why even bother lifting weights then?
More and more people get involved in the iron game every decade who have no instinct for it in the first place. It makes no sense.
If I ever cam less than twice a day I would probably kil someone with my bare hands due to pent up aggression.
I have zero interest in reproduction, Glendolen.
I do however have an interest in:
CRUSHING MY ENEMIES
SEEING THEM DRIVEN BEFORE ME
AND HEARING THE LAMENTATION OF THEIR WOMEN.
That being said…I wanna cum on as many ( o Y o ) as possible.
They need decoration.
As far as being aggressive in nature…I focus all my aggression on hating cops and kicking kids when they are too loud while I pick up heavy shit.
Weekend At Bernie's is on.
I'm 5000.
I bet Simon is 16 and tips the scale at 152…
well good to know man, I find the problem finding a girl who is willing to facilitate such needs. Any suggestions are welcome.
Nick Strauss – The Game
It will seem stupid. However, it works, because bitches are stupid as dirt, and you will hate them because it works.
then there's rape. Wouldn't rape be 10x more beneficial than actual sex?
Do you even talk to girls, Lewis? Seriously, if you can't get laid there is something wrong with you. You're either not really trying or are a genuine loser, destined to remain insignificant for a lifetime.
Lewis, Getting good with girls is just like getting good at anything. Practice. Do your best and don't worry about the outcome. Enjoy the process.
Jamie, usually I agree with you and I agree that sex increases T levels. And everyone should have as much sex as possible.
However, in my experience jerking off excessively diminishes my "drive" to work, train, study, etc. I enjoy porn on occassion but I don't think its healthy for a lot of people, anything that instantaneous and easy can't be good.
If you can't get laid, I would recommend to stop jerking off and watching porn.
If you can stick to it after 7-10 days, you will figure out how to get laid.
Anon- That is my next book inline to read, it comes recommended from a lot of people, thanks.
Anon- I had plenty of practice coughfailure'scough last night. haha
Glen- I do talk to girls and I think that it comes down to my choice of girls to talk to and that's why i usually fail. Maybe you are right, maybe I am not trying hard enough or I try to hard? I am not a loser by any means. It's whatever though. No advice, just ridicule? haha
Anon- interesting thought.
To the guy concerned about a lack of drive- I don't recommend jerking off to porn all that often. Frankly, over-reliance on porn diminishes one's imagination to be utilized for sex, although porn can provide inspiration for fucking- Max Hardcore is the fucking Messiah.
Anyone who recommends using that fucking book The Game as a manual to pick up women has never left their parents basement to talk to a woman.
Fucking herb.
I'll dispute that- that book's actually useful for openers. For anyone who has trouble initiating, rather than carrying, a conversation that book is a fucking goldmine. Luckily, my "insult the fuck out of everyone in the bar" schtick works everywhere but in the deep south. Incidentally, don't any of you ever fucking go to Alabama. Ever. This place is worse than Jersey- at least in Jersey, the chicks fuck. This place is a horrifying amalgamation of stupidity and prudery the likes of which none of you have ever seen.
If you really can't pull a fucking chick, try a dude. I did, and there's no going back for me. I have to keep a wad of paper up my fucking ass it's been reamed out so much, else my innards would fucking fall out. Fuck yeah!!!
hahaha I am pretty sure "the game" will work for me then.
Glen- Glad that worked out for you, then the marriage is a cover up? haha
Lmao at these comments.
Goober up there pretending to be me probably can't get laid either.
Some of you dummies need to read a book on how to approach women? You seriously lack the instinctive ability to even get laid? Never mind dating, mating and procreating, you can't even figure out casual sex? This is a sadder state of affairs than I thought.
What other instincts do you retards not possess? Are you capable of feeding yourselves? Finding shelter? Washing your hands? Wiping your ass? Can you even tell when it's time for you to have a shit before it's too late? There's probably books about all that stuff too.
Do you all wear velcro shoes?
Okay, let me rephrase that.
The Game is useful for people who are socially fucked because they don't or didn't venture out of their mother's basement during the years that they should have been getting drunk at parties drinking MAD DOG 20/20 with the opposite sex, making bad decisions and vomiting all over the place.
Alcohol is what is supposed to help normal people break the shyness barrier, but depending on how old you are, getting shithoused at a bar and approaching random women may not be a good idea. Then again, it has always worked for me. House parties are better arenas for such endeavors.
That's just me though. You guys feel free to walk around the bars "peacocking" like pansies and trying to convince girls you are psychic. While you are checking your metrosexual look in the bathroom, I'll be busy with your girl in the parking lot while she slobs my jawn.
Didn't you promise to start your own blog? Remember??
It was easy to see the other guy was pretending to be Gleneth: the thoughts were too coherent.
Gia Paloma is fucking gross.
I have nothing whatsoever to gain from starting my own blog. Especially on the advice of an anonymous goof who is afraid of the opposite sex.
Gia Paloma is a fucking saint. You shut your mouth when you're talking to me.
Allow me to rephrase that…
The Game is useful to retards who haven't ventured out from their mother's basement during their formative years to acquire poon from drunken sloots.
Alcohol and drugs are what usually breaks the social shyness barrier in normal people. Although, depending on your age (if you are old as fuck don't do this) getting shithoused at your local bar and approaching women might not be the best idea. It has worked wonders for me and many others I know though. House parties are better for endeavors of this type.
Then again, if you want to walk around "peacocking" and trying to convince girls that you are psychic, go ahead. While you are busy maintaining your metrosexual look, I will be in the parking lot with your girl sobbing on my jawn.
Most of these studies are horse shit, done with small samples, and in conditions which were not really verifiable. I'm pretty sure choking the chicken lowers testosterone, no matter what your studies say. Regardless, abstaining from spanking it definitely has huge effects on a man's drive. Every culture in human history until the present one prohibited spanking it, and I think this is the reason why.
Anyway, here's a dumb low sample size study done which says abstaining from chicken-chokings causes a huge ramp up in testosterone levels.
Zhejiang Univ Sci. 2003 Mar-Apr;4(2):236-40.
"The study was done on 28 men who were told to not ejaculate for entire week. It was found that for first 6 days testosterone levels did not change. However, on the 7th day of abstaining, testosterone levels jumped up by nearly 50%. It then declined quickly after that day, therefore abstaining from ejaculation had no long term rising effect."
So, spank it once a week for maximum testosterone levels.
Gia Paloma, first female in Porn to get donkey punched in a porno. Fucking epic.
As for studies a good friend of mine did his own sociology study on this which were quite interesting. He approached 100 women, while at least properly groomed and in regular clothing typical of a college student, who appeared to be collage aged (18-24) and of at least average attractiveness. He introduced himself and asked "Would you like to have sex with me? I'm not doing anything right now.". While he got slapped 15 times, one kick in the balls, and a lot of shocked/angry responses. He got 5 yeses, all 5 of whom sealed the deal. So we can conclude from this study that when all else fails and you have zero game just approached the average young woman and asking for sex has a 1-in-20 chance of success. This was around 12 years ago. His professor some somewhat shocked at the paper when he turned in his 20 page research paper but he did get an A- if I recall.
I do NOT recommend this approach but the data does show that the virgin who lacks game, and spent most of his life in a basement CAN still get laid if he simply approaches enough women.
lupole, the social stigmas in various cultures against masturbation are based on the fact that it is a waste of sperm and can lower sperm rates that could reduce reproduction. Keep in mind historically most cultures have had an obsession with increasing their populations, before we entered the modern world where over-population is becoming an issue.
I've seen studies both ways on masturbation, showing both reduction and increases in serum testosterone levels. However sex, and exposure to female pheromones on a very consistent basis have both been shown to increase it. So fuck as often as possible, sniff your girlfriend's panties before and after a workout if she is away and basically exposure yourself to as many female pheromones as possible if you want to elevate testosterone levels. FYI AM sex has been shown to have a stronger effect on levels than PM sex, so try to get in a session in the morning whenever possible.
What is the difference btween baddassery and badassedness?
The science on your blog is both awesome and terrifying for it's solid research.
If a dude turns me down just because he's afraid I'll mess up his leg day…I think I have my answer as to whether I want to hook up with the dude in the first place.
Fuck you, slut. I aint banging before a heavy squat day.
I don't care what research says…I know that when I pop a load, I'm not inclined to lift heavy, especially squats. I didn't want to hook up with your mustache-face in the first place, either. I'd rather squat. That's my answer to your dumbshit post.
^Fag.^
….hahaha, coming from a guy against whom all you have to do to succeed in a fight is run around in circles like a bunny in its death throes to win….
Glen, please move forward with plans to start that blog of your own, then you can write and post as much as possible. we wouldn't want to miss one of your pearls of wisdom.
Simon Adebisi said:
"The Game is useful to retards who haven't ventured out from their mother's basement during their formative years to acquire poon from drunken sloots.
Alcohol and drugs are what usually breaks the social shyness barrier in normal people."
I was wondering why you hate police so much, but now I think it has something to do with a few date rape charges under your belt…
Hey Jamie, switching from 5×5 to Chaos inspired workouts. I want to work up to being able to do shitloads of heavy triples, doubles, and singles.
A couple of questions – about what % of your 1RM do you use on the deadlifts for triples?
Another question : yesterday I tried supersetting close grip bench press and deadlifts, both for triples. I hit deadlifts at about 88% of my 1RM for 4 triples, then my lower back was too sore to continue (did make a bench PR though, yay me). What would you recommend to bring it up to speed?
The World's Fastest Crackhead.
I wonder where Spiderman is now. I think I deserve a rematch with him. I should carry a pair of handcuffs with me so I can cuff him to my wrist like Marv in Sin City if I ever meet him again. He clearly didn't neglect his cardio. He probably gets way more pussy than any of you wimps ever will. Especially considering he was in way better shape. You dipshits can't even decide what set/rep scheme to do in the gym without consulting the Internet. Most of you pussies would have given Spiderman the cigarette he asked for and then ended up with him living on your couch. Probably give cookies to mice too.
Here's a Gia Paloma movie for you since it's all the action you're capable of getting and you all think she's so hot.
http://www.pornexa.com/porn/free/3536/video/Cum-Shampoo/
Anonymous said…
I was wondering why you hate police so much, but now I think it has something to do with a few date rape charges under your belt…
———————————————————–
My distaste for police comes from their general lack of anything worth respecting and their laziness. As for date rape, you're buggin'. I'm the one who should be pressing charges on all these Korean girls trying to forcibly extract my goo. Then again, I wouldn't expect a fag who posts anonymously from his computer lair, thinks police are the public helpers the claim to be and more than likely goes to church to understand these types of things.
"Fuck you, slut. I aint banging before a heavy squat day.
I don't care what research says…I know that when I pop a load, I'm not inclined to lift heavy, especially squats. I didn't want to hook up with your mustache-face in the first place, either. I'd rather squat. That's my answer to your dumbshit post. " – Anonymous poster
^^^^^
The first thing that came to mind when reading this comment was a 5'10", 14 year old kid, in all his 125 lb. glory, posing as an internet badass.
A pretty failed attempt too, if you ask me.
I think you're absolutely right – you're not banging before a squat session. Reason being, you've probably never fucked a broad, ever, in the first place.
@Glen – Spiderman probably got some, but Batman gets more. Batman is fucking awesome, for not even having superpowers.
The kid who said he won't fuck before squatting is also probably scared the woman will take his seed in order to zap his energy away.
Christine, you're right that Batman is a better superhero than Spiderman. If Batman was a real guy he would be emailing me for training advice.
"Spiderman" is the nickname three friends of mine and I gave to some schmuck who snuck out of the bushes one night and started bugging us for a cigarette. He struck us right away as a crackhead so one of my friends punched him in the face and knocked him on his ass. The other two friends swarmed around him throwing kicks and I have to admit I joined in too after a few seconds. He was so squirmy that nobody could land a clean shot on him. It's obvious he'd been some kind of an athlete before he took up slinking around in the bushes fucked up out of his mind on drugs. He managed to get to his feet and run away and he was so fast that none of us could catch him. The gumbies here give me shit about it because they've never met a crackhead in real life. That or the crackheads in their cities are all friendly and harmless.
Just one of many stories. These geeks would have stories too someday if they didn't waste their teens and twenties in their bedrooms on the Internet. They need to read books on how to approach women. That's still hilarious.
How many of you retards can strict curl your IQs? Being in the double digit range I'd think you'd all have an advantage there.
Glen, this is the fantastic type of material that really belongs in your blog, where you could go on and on (and on), and really develop these concepts. You have life experience and are a real man in every sense of the word. Yes, you are better than us. We are children in comparison.
By the way, as you are a bit dim, that was sarcasm. I need to tell you, as you would not figure it out on your own.
Glen, what's the address of your blog, and would you start off by detailing the routine that you recommended to Batman, please? I'm assuming you gave him plenty of lat work??
@Glen – Haha, sorry was unaware.
You really should start a blog.
I'm not starting a blog and I never will. Get over it, goof.
Glen, can you share some insight: If the Hulk emailed you for training advice, what kind of program would you put him on? I have to figure
a lot of doubles and triples, am I right?
Also, with your focus on wrist curls, would you prevail as the victor in beating up a street guy in a four to one match up, today??
Can't wait for the blog, dude! I was thinking you could call it "Monument to Stupidity"
Not you, Christine, you're alright.
Anonymous goof, if I did have a blog you'd be reading it. Maybe I'd call it IPostAnonymouuslyBecauseIFearCriticismFromPeopleIveNeverMetAndWillNeverMeetBecauseDeepDownIKnowImALoserAndThatsWhyICantEvenTalkToGirlsAndWillEventuallyMarryAndDivorceAWomanWhoIMeetOnAnOnlineDatingWebsite.blogspot.com
The Spiderman incident stands out among random crackhead beatings because of how agile and quick he was. When he was about a block away he pulled up his shirt and yelled, "You're not in shape!"
It was fucking hilarious whether you disapprove or not. Definitely a one-of-a-kind crackhead, even in this city.
Jamie has several more of my stories and even they're just the tip of the iceberg. They were crazy times back then before I got married and had kids. I'm not necessarily proud of a lot the things I did but I don't regret any of it.
If the Hulk emailed me right now I'd tell him to fuck off. I don't give training advice online anymore. Too many unappreciative goofs who ruined it for everybody else. Too bad for you, I guess.
Glen, when will your blog be up and running? I'm looking forward to reading it.
Glen- When you say the "crackhead" bugged you for a cigarette did he just simply come up and say "Hey guys can I bum a cigarette" or was it more like this "Hey fuck ass's give me a god damn cigarette now"?
A Glen MacCharles blog would be CLASSIC. I can see it now, one single post dedicated to all the faggots posting in the comments here.
"posting in the comments section" THAT'S wrong, too? What are you, a fucktard?
Glen, in a previous blog you discussed punching God in the face. My question: in heaven, if the Hulk asked you for spot on his bench, would you help him or punch him? Looking forward to you expanding on this, in your blog.
Cheers!
" 'posting in the comments section' THAT'S wrong, too? What are you, a fucktard? " – Anonymous Poster
^^^^^
It's not wrong. It's amusing, actually. 🙂
Can anyone tell me the address of glen's blog? It's about time Jamie got some competition!
It's obvious you guys don't know anything about crackheads. You'll all take that as an insult for some dumbass reason because Internet tough guys seem to think crackheads are cool. They're not. Living in an area filled with drug addicted gangbangers and rapists doesn't make me "cool." It just is what it is. One thing I will say about this neighbourhood, and probably any neighbourhood like it, there are some of the best basketball players you'll ever see. They're out there playing until well after midnight night after night and it's common to see any one of them during the day pacing the lanes between the townhouses dribbling two basketballs. They take the game pretty seriously but you don't make it to the big leagues when you drop out of high school. Anyway, when a crackhead asks you for something, whatever it is, it's just an excuse to get close to you. He'll start shooting the shit with you, hoping that you'll let your guard down and get comfortable. If he doesn't attack you the moment you turn your back and rob you for whatever you've got, he'll hang around for the rest of the night and eventually follow the last person home. That comes with it's own problems. He'll try to get inside where he either won't leave for weeks and one day you'll wake up with a bunch of your shit missing or he'll just rob you that night after you fall asleep. If he remembers where you live then soon other crackheads will know where you live. This kind of thing happens all the time to suburban goofs who like to play thug in "tha hood." I've heard of too many dipshits either getting robbed or at the very least ending up with some cracked out squatter on their couch who they have to call the cops to get rid of. Fuck that. I'd rather just knock out a few of his teeth right away and be done with it. And if you get one who slips away and runs down the street lipping off about how you're "not in shape" that's just as good. He's still just as gone and it makes for a funny story to tell later. Crackheads aren't human and if you treat them like they are you will more than likely regret it.
Junkies are apparently even worse but thankfully we don't have too many of them in the East End yet. They tend to be more in the North End. Crackheads and retards are right across Hamilton but the North End also has junkies and c=Central Hamilton, where most of the bikers tend to live, has also got methheads. They're the easiest to deal with since they tend to just stick with their own and are therefore only a problem for other bikers. Very quick to pick a fight with you at the bar though, just not very likely to try and follow you home.
Never heard of it. Glen is taking it? I should have guessed.
Christine – Yeah, that's about what I was getting at, hahaha.
And mr. anonymous poster, if half of you guys weren't such howling faggots I wouldn't give a shit.
I had always wondered why you guys just attacked a guy for asking for a smoke.
It makes sense now,
Thanks for the explanation.
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