I’m posting this simply because I know that for some reason, you guys seem to give a shit about what I wear in the gym.  As such, I thought I’d let you guys know about my new love in the way of shoes- the New Balance Minimus Trail.  These shoes are what Thor would wear if he decided to go running, and make the Nike Frees seem like something that a drunken kindergartener would create out of clay for a hobo who wanted shoes designed to work with his iPod to track his movements while weighing marginally less than the same volume of lead.  In other words, these things are the tits.  They’ve got microbial insoles, which means that they aren’t kicking after wearing them all day without socks, they don’t slide on your feet, have much greater structural strength (so your feet don’t roll in them while squatting heavy either), a sewn-in tongue (which I love, because the tongue on every other shoe slides to the side all fucking day long like it’s a black guy leaning over the center console of his fucking Escalade), better soles (made by Vibram), and they’re so light you don’t even know you’re wearing them.

I’d say more amazing things about them, but it’d just sound like I was trying to verbally fellate the creators of these wondrous shoes.  Which I am.  I intend to get the non-trail version as well because I love these things so much, but for now, I rock the shit out of the MT10s (and will likely get a pair of the Women’s ones so I can get them in a color other than the ones I have and orange.  Since I switched to these, I’ve hit a single on jump squats with 375 and constantly feel astonishingly spry for a guy, which is impressive for a guy who does so little athletic movement that I make Chris Farley seem agile by comparison.  Are they magical?  Hell no, but they do rock the fucking bells.

They’d both wear them… if they weren’t dead.

Ditch the Chucks and get with the Minimus.

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