Finishing Off The Skinny Bitches

Jamie Chaos

June 24, 2011

If you repeat a lie enough times, someone will eventually believe it- it’s human nature. This is how random bullshit over time has come to be “common knowledge”, and thus fact, in spite of the fact that it’s undeniably and incontrovertibly untrue. The idea that people once believed the Earth was flat, for instance, and that it wasn’t until the Renaissance that the world finally accepted the fact that the Earth is round is total bullshit. People has known for centuries that the world was round- Eratosthenes even gave its exact size and axial tilt in the third century BC. It wasn’t until the modern era that the myth of the flat Earth theory was propagated, and apparently arose out of the argument over evolution. The Protestants, in an effort to make the Catholics look like assholes, spread the myth that Catholics thought the world was flat until recently. They were apparently bored with bombing the shit out of each other in Ireland, so they fell back on a bit of academic libel. Somehow (*cough* because people are fucking stupid) this theory spread and became “fact”, in spite of the fact that no educated Westerner since the 3rd Century BCE ever supported the Flat Earth theory.

In much the same way, the Skinny Bitches propagate vegetarian and vegan myths, touting them as fact, due to the fact that they apparently don’t own library cards, couldn’t find Wikipedia with a friend and a roadmap, and are without question, horrifically and hilariously stupid. To wit:

“Scientific evidence suggests… we descended from vegetarian ancestors.” They cite Caldwell B. Esselstyn for this gem. In his excretory release Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease, this alleged doctor of medicine claims that there is “irrefutable evidence” that humans thrive on a plant-based, oil-free diet. (www.heartattackproof.com) Piling another log atop their Mt. Everest-sized pile of horshit, the Silly Bitches allege, as they did in their previous opus that even if our hominid predecessors did eat a meat-based diet, it doesn’t matter because they “looked like friggin’ apes and had massive heads, strong jaws, and brute strength. Man was a different animal then.” (40)

If your mind isn’t fucking blown by this, allow me to explain why it should be. First, the two points, made on the same page, directly contravene one another- on the one hand, we’re evolved to eat the same diet rabbits and other vegan rodents enjoy, and on the other, it doesn’t matter if we may have evolved from meat eaters, as our hominid ancestors were brutish savages.

Maybe they’re on to something- rabbits eat their own shit, don’t they?

This, my friends, is exactly what Tucker Max likes to call prototypical “whore logic” (and what those of us who don’t want to be stabbed in our sleep refer to as “girl logic”). In the same way that a woman will simultaneously whine about being hungry for three hours and refuse to eat anything you offer her to shut her up, the Silly Bitches make a point and then directly contradict that point with a lack of understanding of human evolution that defies common sense, simple logic, and Google. Were they to utilize the latter of the three, the first two being well beyond their intellectual capacity, they’d have known that the Robust hominids (like Paranthropus Robustus and Australopiticus Bosei) had big heads, sagittal crests, and strong jaws to facilitate the mastication of fiber-dense vegetation. In other words, they had the giant jaws because they were vegetarians. They were not, however, physically imposing specimens, and they are extremely distant human ancestors. The most recent ancestors to homo sapiens sapiens (modern humans) are homo neanderthalensis (Neanderthals) and homo sapiens (Cro-Magnon Man). According to every recent archaeological source I could find, the two hominids had extremely similar diets, and both were about as close to pure carnivores as any primate has ever been.(“Bones”, “New study”) Thus, the Bitches were about as wrong as humanly possible, which is sort of their forte.

On a side note, long-time readers of this blog have by now gathered that I have little use for the government, and trust them about as much as I’d trust John Wayne Gacy in a home for runaway homosexual teenagers. Though I’m not much of a conspiracy theorist, and am generally wary of Truthers, followers of Alex Jones, or anyone who thinks that David Icke is even marginally sane, it’s interesting to note that vegan advocate Caldwell B. Esselstyn is a member of Skull and Bones, the secret society that pretty much every crackpot on Earth links with the New World Order. I mentioned in this blog that I think that the US government advocates low-protein diets to make us more docile, and vegan diets (notoriously low in protein) mirror those used by cults to aid in “thought reform.”(Brainwashing, Born-Again Brainwashing) Coincidence? Probably, but it’s an amusing anecdote.

Carrying on with their evolution logic, they used the same tired biology arguments used by other vegans, like the “fact” that carnivores have saliva with ten times more hydrochloric acid and much shorter intestines than do humans.

I hope that anyone with the ability to form a cogent thought immediately sees through the wild-eyed ignorance of biology that these sorts of statements require. I know of no academic on Earth who will assert, for instance, that humans are pure carnivores. The only land mammal of which I can think offhand that is a pure carnivore is a feline, and even they end up eating grains when people keep them as pets (though it fucks them up all to be damned). This is an important point, because this sort of an argument is little more than a vegetarian strawman- it leaves out omnivores like pigs. Pigs, for those of you who don’t know, eat just about anything, including people.

“You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.” (Brick Top)

Professor Brick Top.

The reason why kids in high school dissect pigs is due to the remarkable similarity between the digestive tract of pigs and that of humans. Neither pigs nor humans have the ability to digest plant cellulose (which herbivores do through fermentation), and this is an excellent sign that they’re not pure herbivores. I’ll go on, but the subject frankly bores the living shit out of me- I’d rather argue physics with a 10 year old kid with Down’s Syndrome than bother trying to explain comparative anatomy to a vegetarian. Everything they know comes from websites, and every one of those websites cites (well, reprint, because they’re apparently too exhausted from malnutrition to bother with academic citations) the exact same retarded source (Fit Food For Men, by AD Andrews). It looks like this:

Meat-eaters: have claws
Herbivores: no claws
Humans: no claws

Meat-eaters: have no skin pores and perspire through the tongue
Herbivores: perspire through skin pores
Humans: perspire through skin pores

Meat-eaters: have sharp front teeth for tearing, with no flat molar teeth for grinding
Herbivores: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding
Humans: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding (This is simply stunning, and is too long to bother with typing. Google canine dentition (they have molars) and polar bear molars- Polar bears are considered pure carnivores, and have molars.)

Meat-eaters: have intestinal tract that is only 3 times their body length so that rapidly decaying meat can pass through quickly
Herbivores: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length.
Humans: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length. (the human intestine is 6-7m long, making it roughly three times as long as the human body.) (Length)

Meat-eaters: have strong hydrochloric acid in stomach to digest meat
Herbivores: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater
Humans: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater. (Actually, human gastric acid has a pH of 3.8, and is strong enough to dissolve human teeth.) (Matsou)

Meat-eaters: salivary glands in mouth not needed to pre-digest grains and fruits.
Herbivores: well-developed salivary glands which are necessary to pre-digest grains and fruits
Humans: well-developed salivary glands, which are necessary to pre-digest, grains and fruits

Meat-eaters: have acid saliva with no enzyme ptyalin to pre-digest grains
Herbivores: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains
Humans: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains (there is little difference between the pH of mammalian saliva between species. These idiots apparently think that Alien blood drips from the mouths of housecats)

Meat eater.

Fantastic, isn’t it? They managed to construct an entire argument rebutting a claim no thinking person has ever made (that humans are carnivores) while asserting something even more preposterous. Additionally, I find the salivary glands bit amusing, as I’ve never had a dog that didn’t slobber like a motherfucker. Apparently, they’ve all just wanted me to ram a fucking baguette down their throats and send them on their merry way. Oh, and the book cited in that chart? It doesn’t exist. Nor does the author. The publisher renamed itself the National Health Association, and boasts eight members, none of whom is A.D. Andrews… because that motherfucker doesn’t exist. Well played, vegans!

Ridgele Abele, alleged champion of karate.

Lastly, the Silly Bitches embarrass themselves with a list of “tough-ass motherfuckers” who are vegetarians or vegans. This list includes a bunch of endurance athletes, Stan Price (“world record holder” in the bench press), Ridgely Abele (8x national karate champ), Sushil Kumar (bronze medalist wrestler), Make Danzig and Jake Shields, Tony Gonzalez and Desmond Howard, and Bill Pearl and Andreas Cahling. Unsurprisingly, this list is jam fucking packed with bullshit. My bullshit-o-meter peaked with Stan Price, who unsurprisingly doesn’t exist, much less hold a record in powerlifting. Moving on, Bill Pearl and Andreas Cahling ate a fucking boatload of animal protein at every meal. They might not have been sitting down to a steak that’d choke John Candy’s fat ass to death, but Pearl ate a couple of dozen eggs a day and drank fucking GALLONS of milk a day, while Cahling ate nothing but open faced goat cheese sandwiches. (Dynamic Bodies) Ridgely Abele was an old man who won the USKA World Championships in 1983, and I couldn’t find shit on his diet. Given that it’s a karate association bereft of a single Japanese name in their hall of fame, I’m betting they aren’t terribly competitive. Shields eats milk products and protein, and recently got his ass kicked in by a meat eater. Sushil Kumar, like most Hindus, drinks an absolutely absurd amount of milk and eats cans of ghee when training.(Sushil) For those of you who are unaware, ghee is pretty much unholy- you make it my cooking off butter until all of the water is boiled off and nothing but fat and protein remains. For any of you who’ve roomed with a Hindu, you know that it smells godawful and tastes about as good as it smells. Back to the list- Tony Gonzalez recommends in his own book, the All-Pro Diet, that people should eat grass-fed beef and chicken, which is decidedly un-vegetarian. Desmond Howard, in his own words “eat[s] a lot of chicken and fish” in addition to ground turkey. (Celebrity) The only person the Bitches mentioned who is a verifiable vegan “badass” is Mac Danzig, and he’s an admittedly recent convert to the diet as a result of working at a factory farm.(Peta)

In short, the Silly Bitches are entirely full of shit, and simply repeat the same tired bullshit they’ve heard out of other idiot vegans to serve a purpose I cannot possibly ascertain. Quite frankly, I doubt they could articulate their reasoning either. Should you want information on being a “healthy” vegan, check out Mike Mahler, who outlines Mac Danzig’s diet here and has an array of kettlebell videos shot in his backyard. His dog looks pretty cool, which is at least a good start for being a believable authority on anything whatsoever. As for the Bitches, I’m pretty sure they’re the reason why Muslims stone broads.

Someone call Al-Quaida… I see a “target of opportunity”.

Sources:
Dynamic Bodies. Vegetarian Diet. http://www.dynamicbodies.com/vegetari.htm
Elert, Glenn. Length of a Human Intestine (citing five separate sources and averaging the results). http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2001/AnneMarieThomasino.shtml
The Family.org Brainwashing and Cultural Diffusion, citing Argentine Judgment of Dec. 13, 1993, Cimara Federal de Apelaciones [Federal Court of Appeals], slip op. 63-64 (Arg.) (official translation). http://www.thefamily.org/dossier/books/book3/chapter4.htm#footnote73
Fitz K. Celebrity Fitzness Report: Heisman Trophy Winner & Super Bowl MVP Desmond Howard. http://www.thatsfit.com/2008/05/29/celebrity-fitzness-report-heisman-trophy-winner-and-super-bowl-mv/
Ins. Sushil puts Boprala on wrestling map of the world. http://www.sify.com/sports/sushil-puts-boprala-on-wrestling-map-of-the-world-news-olympics-jehbpTjgabc.html
Matsou E, Vouroutzis N, Kontonasaki E, Paraskevopoulos KM, Koidis P. Investigation of the influence of gastric acid on the surface roughness of ceramic materials of metal-ceramic restorations. An in vitro study. Int J Prosthodont. 2011 Jan-Feb;24(1):26-9.
PETA. King of the Cage Champ Mac Danzig. http://www.peta2.com/outthere/o-macdanzig.asp
Science Daily. (1/19/06) “New study reveals Neanderthals were as good at hunting as early modern humans.”
Sutphen, Dick. The Battle For Your Mind: Persuasion and Brainwashing Techniques Being Used On the Public Today. http://educate-yourself.org/cn/fundamentalistbrainwashing06jun05.shtml
University of Washington (9/23/03) “Bones from Frend cave show Neanderthals, Cro-Magnon hunted same prey.” Science Daily.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

32 responses to “Finishing Off The Skinny Bitches”

Niel K. Patel

June 27, 2011

Easier way to think of ghee is just as clarified butter.

The 2-part series has been great. Now showing the authors' followers their ignorance could be difficult. While covered in the first paragraph, people also believe their emotional/gut feeling over fact despite how strong the evidence may be.
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Thanos

June 27, 2011

Excellent follow-up!

One thing though, when you say human intestine is 6 to 7 meters long, that's not twice the length of a human body (male or female). More like three to 3.5 to 4 times, unless everybody just became 2 meters long to join the NBA.

Just helping out, because if you want to win the fight against stupidity, you've got to have your ass covered in every tiny detail.

Keep fighting the good fight!
Thanos

June 27, 2011

And I'll take them bitches anyday. I'm a vegan, so I should have no problem in making them do ATM. Fat chance I'll break them in though.
Jamie Lewis

June 27, 2011

Good catch. I'm understand how I fucked it up, but I think it's beyond my powers of explanation, haha.
Danny

June 27, 2011

Glad you gave props to Mike Mahler. Though I find it hard to respect many vegans for the many reasons that you've already covered, Mike is a legitimately strong dude with knows his shit.
Danny

June 27, 2011

shit.. with=who
Glen MacCharles

June 28, 2011

I never knew that about the flat Earth theory. Now I've never been more proud to be a Protestant.
Salman Tahir

June 28, 2011

"As for the Bitches, I'm pretty sure they're the reason why Muslims stone broads."

that killed me
Justin_PS

June 28, 2011

I heard it said before: diets are like religions. Everyone has their own and they think theirs is better than everyone elses.
Rant

June 28, 2011

I've just measured my cock at 8.5 inches
Glen MacCharles

June 28, 2011

In light of the IRA's recent "return" I've decided to get in touch with my WASP roots and hate on Catholics for a while.

The only good mick is a dead mick.
The Verb

June 29, 2011

1) Humans have no useful appendix. We clearly are not meant to subsist on a pure vegetarian/ vegan diet.

2)Taken from Guyton's Medical Physiology 11 Ed. Page 810 2nd paragraph:

"Digestion of Proteins in the Stomach. Pepsin, the important peptic enzyme of the stomach, is most active at a pH of 2.0 to 3.0 and is inactive at a pH above about 5.0. Consequently, for this enzyme to cause digestive action on protein, the stomach juices must be acidic. As explained in Chapter 64, the gastric glands secrete a large quantity of hydrochloric acid. This hydrochloric acid is secreted by the parietal (oxyntic) cells in the
glands at a pH of about 0.8, but by the time it is mixed with the stomach contents and with secretions from the nonoxyntic glandular cells of the stomach, the pH then averages around 2.0 to 3.0, a highly favorable range of acidity for pepsin activity.

One of the important features of pepsin digestion is
its ability to digest the protein collagen, an albuminoid type of protein that is affected little by other digestive enzymes. Collagen is a major constituent of the intercellular connective tissue of meats; therefore, for the digestive enzymes of the digestive tract to penetrate meats and digest the other meat proteins, it is first necessary
that the collagen fibers be digested. Consequently,
in persons who lack pepsin in the stomach juices, the ingested meats are less well penetrated by the other digestive enzymes and, therefore, may be poorly digested.
The Verb

June 29, 2011

That textbook is the shit btw. In college we called it "the truth". I've seen it floating around on torrent sites too. Anyone with enough time and dedication (its about 1200 pages) to give it a reading ought to, it will give you a bullshit filter like you wouldn't believe.
Josh

June 29, 2011

Did you mean to have a pic of GSP owning Jake Shields?

Because that's Josh Koscheck and I don't think hes a vegan.
Jamie Lewis

June 29, 2011

I did, and you're right. Koshcheck's one of the UF douchetards, as I recall. Fucking google images.
Jamie Lewis

June 29, 2011

Fixed.
Glen MacCharles

June 29, 2011

I work with a guy who is the worst kind of vegetarian. He claims to just not like eating meat. Does that make any sense? At least if he had some kind of moral issue about it, misguided thought it might be, I could somewhat respect his decision for the simple reason that he's standing up for something he believes in. He did film and edit my Wipeout audition video though so I forgive him this utter weakness.
Nathan

June 30, 2011

Wow. I feel exactly the opposite way. I have met a few people who are vegetarian for non-moral reasons, and while I think they are retarded for thinking a vegetarian diet can have any benefits, I don't think of them as contagious human cancer which needs to be subjected to 1937 Nanking treatment. I guess I just kind of revealed how I feel about moral vegetarians.

People who hate components of human nature, such as being predatory are not only contemptible, they are incredibly dangerous, because in sufficient numbers they can ruin something for everyone else for centuries. Look what Christians did to sex! If moral vegetarians get their way, our future may be some Star Trek bullshit where we aren't allowed to kill anything and give ridiculously long speeches to anything that does!
BLOCK A9 CAMPO

June 30, 2011

The appendix is also great for replenishing lost gut microbiota, following a course of antibiotics.
Jippo

June 30, 2011

Fucking vegetarians. Who the hell just doesn't like meat? It has to be some ingrained psychological thing, i refuse to believe that someone can turn down a steak or not eat meat on pizza etc. Almost as bad as people who don't drink ever.
Javier

June 30, 2011

The Koscheck picture was still awesome as shit. I laughed. Kos talked so much garbage, and he didn't do a thing in that fight, just get jabbed to the operating table.

And for breakfast yesterday, I ate steak and I felt amazing. These women have no clue.
BLOCK A9 CAMPO

June 30, 2011

Thank you for the Guyton Physiology plug. I read the lipid metabolism chapter there. It has much more detail than most other biochem/phys books. I return the favour by providing a hyperlink to esteemed readers of the chaos and pain blog.

Science and reason FTW:http://www.mediafire.com/?zmzlljtye3j
Jimmymann11

July 5, 2011

Hey Jamie, I know this doesn't fit here, but have you heard of or seen any of John Broz's lifters in Vegas? Not just Pat Mendes who has squatted 350kg, but also stacks of fucking strong young dudes. I reckon you'd love his philosophy- he learned from Krastev who trained under Abadjiev and uses an adapted bulgarian method- lift to max every day, stick to the classic lifts, if you don't need to go to the hospital, then train. Ive been picking it up- days i cant do anything else i just back squat. The idea is just fight through until the body adapts. Thoughts mate?
Jippo

July 5, 2011

I've done something similar to the Broz thing. I think Jamie has mentioned before that for him squatting more than 3x per week just knots his legs up too much, i did it for a few months but burned out in the end. I alternated days of back squat/press/weighted chins with front squats/bench/power cleans with deadlifts once per week. Work up to a 1rm then back off and do doubles or triples for some volume. Make sure you're eating and sleeping a lot though.
You-Know-Who

July 6, 2011

The only reason I've been considering going vegetarian/vegan is because our meat industry is very fucked up. I don't want to financially support a system that often makes people sick.
I'm not a PETAfag and I'm just going at this from a financial angle, I would like to see some sort of movement where we force the meat industry to properly feed and treat animals.
I feel like if this doesn't happen, they are going to keep feeding us tainted food and just go about producing their products the most cost efficient way possible, without regard to the overall effect on people who consume it.
Any thoughts on this?
Mimosa

July 6, 2011

I've been reading your blog for a few months now and really dig it. I've lifted my bench 1RM from 85kg to 100kg in 6 weeks. Apparently wasn't trying hard enough.

Anyway I read that you were gonna publish a book. Here's a link to a post about self publishing. http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/05/why-and-how-i-self-published-a-book/

I've got no connection with the guy, but his shit is helpful and brimming with actual information instead of noise. Much like your blog. I've got a lot of good stuff from you, and I wanted to return the favour. I hope your find it helpful.

Keep up the good work.
Jamie Lewis

July 6, 2011

@Mimosa- Thanks bro. I'll check that out.

@the Broz question. I've acutually had success squatting more often with lower volumes and more variation in my lifts. Thus, I've been hitting jump squats, full squats, partial squats, Bodymaster machine squats, and zerchers a few times a week, with the only issue I've noticed being a very fatigued lower back on occasion. I've been loving squatting almost every day, though. It's all about trial and error.
Matthew

July 7, 2011

@You-Know-Who: You don't have to buy cheap, crappy meat. Pay a little extra and get a nice bit of Argentinian grass fed ribeye. Lovely.
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