Plague of Strength

Fuck The Bottom, We Belong At The Top: Hooligans Abound!

Jamie Chaos

A couple of months ago, I started offering training consultations with the idea that there were some people out there who just needed a bit of help to get them out of shit and into suck.  Or out of suck and into ok.  In any event, I thought there were a few proud individuals out there who might brave my wrath and acerbic wit to get a big of training advice.  Surprisingly, there were, and the results were even better than I had anticipated- there are a couple of your brave fuckers out there who are quite good at listening to my sage advice and picking up heavy shit.

One of these courageous individuals is Joe, a dude who came to me with a physique already in pretty good stead.  Though some of you might think that this is cheating for me, I’m not sorry to report that you might be mentally retarded.  People who’ve already been training a while and who have had a reasonable amount of success are some of the hardest people to convince they’ve been fucking up.  As such, this is proof of my immense skill, as this dude went from pretty damn good to fucking awesome inside of two months.  Bear witness to the glory that is my coaching skill.

Alrighty, give the peeps a bit of a background on yourself. I know you live in the wilderness and have a longer daily commute to work than I have two and from work in a week. Beyond that, hit us with with you relevant stats- height, weight, age, years you’ve been training, etc, along with your best lifts prior to kicking this bitch off.

Yeah, I live in a small town on the Eastern Shore of MD. Mostly farm-land. Long-ass commute. Work a desk job during fairly standard hours. Recently bought my own house and assembled a home gym so I could train whenever the hell I wanted. Decided to consult with you to give me a new perspective on training and I knew I would end up learning a lot from you. Somewhat obsessed with the strict press and chasing the feats of those like Saxon and Maxick.

24y/o, 5-10”, 189lbs, 6 years training (with the obligatory first year or so being complete fucking about).

Taken on March 5, 2013.

Previous Best Lifts
Strict Press– 205lb
BTN Strict Press (Klokov Press)– 185lb
Squat– 352
Bench– 253×5
Deadlift– 420×4 (single set to failure)

And what are your stats now?

Weight is hovering around 185lb, as far as composition changes, bodyfat has dropped a good bit along with some muscle gain. You’ve seen the pics. I will provide more, though.

Taken March 30, 2013

Current Best Lifts
Strict Press– 212lb
BTN Strict Press– 200lb
Squat– 387lb
Bench– 300lb x2
Deadlift– 418lb x18 reps (singles, within 30min workout)

Also, pull-ups have increased like crazy, I can bang out sets of 20 now, whereas I was previously struggling with 10.

Taken today, April 30th.

Not too shabby!  Those are some sick increases in a month.  To what do you attribute your rapid progress (other than my genius, of course)?

I think the major factor was that I was busting my ass in the gym basically every day (minus the 1 rest day per week). I’d never trained with that sort of frequency in the past. It was the hard work and diligence toward the goal, that your program instilled in me. I think that’s the key.

We messed with your diet a bit, as I recall.  Nothing too crazy, but just increasing the protein.  By and large, you’re doing the APD, right?  Tell the people about your diet, as with those abs they’re definitely going to ask.

My stint on the APD was rather short actually. Less than 2 week, right at the beginning of the consult. I gave it an honest shot, but I tolerate carbs rather well and made much better progress with them in the diet, so I immediately returned to the diet that has worked well for me. I actually wrote a decent article about the diet on my blog, so its probably easiest to just link that somewhere [how about right here: http://circastrength.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-biorhythm-diet_18.html.. Although im sure there will be questions regardless.

No cardio of any kind as you leaned out, correct?

No cardio whatsoever.

Good man.  You’ve made huge gains in the last couple of months- are your goals changing as you progress, or are they pretty much the same?

Goals are still exactly the same, continue getting stronger & leaner. I want to look like I eat sheet metal and shit nails. The goal is simple, become the baddest motherfucker my body will allow.

What would you say was your biggest takeaway from the training consult/program redesign?

My biggest take-away is that I can train more often and heavier than I let myself believe was possible. Most days I was sore, certain body-parts always ached, but I just went ahead and trained anyway. To my surprise, the gains kept coming quickly. It came down to trusting the plan you designed and working as hard as possible on that particular day.

Yeah, you definitely seemed to enjoy a hell of a lot of rep work, and as I recall were fairly skeptical dropping the reps would work.  Any words of wisdom to impact on the slavering beasts reading this thing?

The point I want to drive home is that more work nets more results, at least in my experience.

… Which is exactly what I’ve been saying all along.  Check out Joe’s blog here to keep up on his progress.  At the risk of divulging all of my amazing training secrets, I’m not going to give out the exact details of the program Joe used, but you can rest assured it involved six days a week of training, a lot of volume, a lot of Joe busting his ass, and a lot of weight.  Joe had been doing a fairly typical upper/lower split routine, but as he wanted to improve specifically on overhead pressing and get stronger overall, I dropped his reps very low, shifted the emphasis to overhead pressing, and cut out some of the bullshit he was doing.  That, some form tweaks on his squat, and a hell of  lot of work on Joe’s part, and his lifts improved dramatically in less than two months, as did his physique.

This shit isn’t rocket science- it’s just that some of you need a rocket scientist to fire your asses in the right direction. Go lift something.

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Jamie Chaos Avatar
Jamie Chaos
I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

25 responses to “Fuck The Bottom, We Belong At The Top: Hooligans Abound!”

  1. Rant Avatar
    Rant

    Wow! If i'd looked like that at 24, and my lifts had been like that at 24, well, i'd probably have taken up a different hobby

    1. Jamie Lewis Avatar
      Jamie Lewis

      Feel free to awe us all with tales of your lifting prowess. You're apparently the only motherfucker on the Moynihan Institute who lifts weights, if you're as baller as you claim to be.

    2. Eric Avatar
      Eric

      Rant, you dissapointed me on that one. Your talent shines when you wait a little longer to contribute.

    3. Jamie Lewis Avatar
      Jamie Lewis

      Comes off as a bit of a "try hard" if he's posting comments the second I post the blog.

    4. Rant Avatar
      Rant

      To be honest, i'm just enjoying watching my profile views go up. Virtually every comment i make adds about 100. Maybe it's the penis poking out the trousers in my avatar that draws some guys in.

    5. Eric Avatar
      Eric

      See! That's the good stuff I want to read in those comments. Glad to see you've still got it. I agree your appendage is quite the attention grabber. Keep it up!

  2. Nathan Avatar
    Nathan

    Congrats on your progress Joe. It's cool that your Klokov press went from 185 to 200 in the space of a month, but I'm more interested in what the hell it was doing at 185 in the first place. How were you training it before? Either you're ridiculously gifted at that lift or you know something I need to know.

    1. Joe Avatar
      Joe

      I wouldn't say that I'm gifted, but my overhead numbers do stand out compared to the other lifts.

      Most all of the training I had done prior to working with jamie was 5×5 or something very similar.

      After jamie put me on low rep work, my numbers shot up.

  3. Obadiah Avatar
    Obadiah

    Gilgamesh!

  4. fighter87 Avatar
    fighter87

    what training program do?nice results!

    thanks a lot!

  5. Blobb Avatar
    Blobb

    Stop holding people's hand, they'll never learn to stand buy themselves and you'll become the next Ripptoe.

  6. The Fat Dad Avatar
    The Fat Dad

    Great job, Joe & Jamie! Could you give a brief description of the change in volume? It's hard to get an accurate idea when comparing blog entries months apart.

  7. Silence them all!! Avatar
    Silence them all!!

    Jamie,

    Nice work Jamie. I am thinking of having you redesign my shambles of a program. My gains have have been as realistic as 19 semi-retarded men with box cutters hijacking planes. Now I need something far more crafted. Been following your blog for 2 years and bought your t-shirt and Issuance of Insanity but have reached a stalling point. Excellent work Jamie.

    1. Rant Avatar
      Rant

      Maybe you're using the t-shirt incorrectly, or there's something wrong with it. Have you thought of buying another one? If you've got the shirt you shouldn't be stalling in your lifts.

    2. Silence them all!! Avatar
      Silence them all!!

      Rant,

      I have read through many of your comments and all I can conclude is that you're a fucking idiot whose dad should of cum on your mums tits instead of spawning such a loser like yourself. You are one of these useless cunts who like to comment but hide in their mothers (unless yours died of cancer or something and then if so hahahafuckinghaa)basement offering half-witted banter on a site you do not belong. Fuck off and I hope to death your family die painfully you fucking idiot. Have a good day!!

    3. Rant Avatar
      Rant

      "you're a fucking idiot whose dad should of cum on your mums tits"

      Jesus Christ!! I read that and had to instantly go and wank!! Thank you SO much, I can't remember the last time I came so hard!! I must be getting immune to regular porn!

      I hope you don't mind me being forward (don't go saying i'm BACKWARD you cheeky thing you!), but would you be ok with me having my next wank over this picture of your own mom? (http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/i-can-count-to-potato-meme.jpg). Cheers buddy!

      "Fuck off and I hope to death your family die painfully you fucking idiot. Have a good day!!"

      Hey, you go and have a good day too!!

    4. Eric Avatar
      Eric

      See! Now that's better. I knew you hadn't lost it.

  8. Rudy Van Horne Avatar
    Rudy Van Horne

    Ha ha awesome one Rant.

    1. Silence them all!! Avatar
      Silence them all!!

      "Ha ha awesome one Rant" – are you being sarcastic? or for real?
      I am surprised you could even muster that little comment there with Rants cock wedged down your throat.

      Cunt.

  9. Rudy Van Horne Avatar
    Rudy Van Horne

    Didn't mean to upset you so much old boy, just liked the way made your comment sound more ridiculous than it already was.

  10. The Verb Avatar
    The Verb

    Silence. You literally described your own self in your "insults".

    1) comment but hiding (this is the internet, we're all basically hiding, making comments)
    2) half baked banter (you're not that smart, kid)
    3) cock wedged down throat (you just called yourself a retard to your own god, jamie)

    There you have it, tough guy.
    I bet you made the most angry macaroni pictures in art class the other day.

    1. Rant Avatar
      Rant

      http://i.imgflip.com/1bzbo.jpg

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