Holy Balls! The New Shirt Is Finally For Sale

Jamie Chaos

February 7, 2012

Shit’s fucking rugged.

I decided to go with a different printer, a heavier-weight shirt, and a whole new design. These motherfuckers are nice- in face, I’m wearing one as I type this. They’re Hanes 9.1 oz Heavyweight Tagless 100% cotton shirts, so they’ll grip the bar when you’re back squatting and won’t be too easy to rip while kicking people in the face at a Murder Death Kill show or fucking. Get them now at by clicking the Paypal button on the side. I know there will be several of you clamoring for Google Checkout, but Google’s a pain in my ass and I’m going to avoid it unless I’m overwhelmed with a tide of whining (which I fully anticipate). Email me at chaos_and_pain@yahoo.com to bitch.

As an FYI, these run kind of small- the Medium fits me like it’s make out of spandex and is best for people 165 lbs or under. The Large is comfortable, but not tight, on me, if a bit long.

That’s how a medium fits on a 194 lb guy.

You asked for ’em, and you got them. I’ve got a couple of hoodies as well, but haven’t decided if I’m going to sell them or what. Anyway, grab the shirt by clicking the button on the left.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

14 responses to “Holy Balls! The New Shirt Is Finally For Sale”

W.L.C 2

February 9, 2012

Got it! Cant wait.
T

February 9, 2012

Hey Jamie, these are awesome. Copyright that shit so you don't get sued this time.
ForceXVelocity

February 10, 2012

Hey Jamie, the design is looking very nice. Is it possible to mail to Hong Kong?
Anonymous

February 10, 2012

I'll pick it up tomorrow. Gotta support the cause.
Otter Ezekiel

February 10, 2012

Yo Jamie, the shirts should (as in S/V agreement "should") read either:

"The only trophy you have in this life is the callouses on your hands."

or

"The only trophies you have in this life are the callouses on your hands."

The second choice sounds better.

I will totally buy the fucking shit out of one when it's written correctly.
1. bobby knuckles
  
  February 10, 2012
  
  @Otter Ezekiel
  
  It makes you look really smart when you don't know the difference between two words.
  
  Callous=insensitive.
  
  Callus=hard skin.
  
  Plural or singular trophy is based on whether you consider each one of your calluses to be a trophy, or all of them combined as a sign of your victory. Neither one is right or wrong.
2. Otter Ezekiel
  
  February 10, 2012
  
  I know the difference, you just caught me being in a hurry and using the wrong heterograph. You're right, I can see the other choices being a matter of perspective as well.
3. Will Hudson
  
  February 16, 2012
  
  Strictly speaking, he's right. "Trophy are" is not correct under any circumstances. The word "is/are" links to "trophy," not "calluses." The plurality or singularity of "is/are" must be the same as the that of "trophy(ies)."
  
  If you consider your calluses to collectively be a trophy, then:
  "The only trophy you have in this life is the calluses on your hands."
  
  If you consider each one to be a trophy, then:
  "The only trophies you have in this life are the calluses on your hands."
4. Otter Ezekiel
  
  February 18, 2012
  
  Strictly speaking, yes. I ultimately don't know Jamie well enough to've said anything in the first place, but hey, I get paid to fix other people's fuckups, so go figure. I figured Jamie would be a stickler for correctness, but he probably also finds someone niggling over the grammar in his shirt fucking retarded, so I let it go. In the end, it's still a pretty badass shirt and I'd rather be the guy lifting and supporting Jamie's efforts than the carping jackass.
Herp Derpington

February 10, 2012

All that matters when I buy shirts is will it hide my gyno.
Make a shirt that says something like 'You aren't truly strong until you've had your first gyno surgery'.
'You ain't shit if you ain't got puffy nips'

I don't know. I'm a faggot.
Nathol

February 10, 2012

Do you ship these to Germany?
Jamie Lewis

February 10, 2012

Yep, I ship everywhere. It is a gigantic pain in the ass to ship overseas since George Bush ruined freedom, but you guys support me, so I'll suffer through the interminable overseas shipping process.
Matthew

February 11, 2012

6'4" and 240lbs… XL?
Tyler

February 13, 2012

"If you got a problem Yo, I'll solve it."

It's the little things.