If Wishes Were Horses, We’d All Ride Instead Of Walk… And I’d Be Able To Make 165

Jamie Chaos

February 26, 2013

192, the day after the meet… and a little vascular.

THIS JUST IN: there’s no way in hell I can make 165.

Thus, to all of the people who told me I was insane and that it couldn’t be done, you were right. After hot baths, wearing a sauna suit in a sauna, and about 18 hours without food or water, I managed to get to 170, and could go no further. I’d thought that it would be just as simple to drop 15 lbs to get to 165 as it was to get to 181, but I was apparently wholly incorrect. As I was bigger and leaner than I was a month ago, there was just not enough of me holding water to get 15 lbs off me. Thus, I ended up guest lifting at 181 and have completely banished any thought of a future cut to 165 from my mind. Again, naysayers, you were right and I was wrong; you are smart and I am dumb; you are good-looking and I am unattractive…

Unless you think crazy vascularity is attractive.

All of the cutting nonsense will go into the new competition prep book, I’m writing, which should be out next month sometime. There was nothing new or Earth shattering in it, other than the fact that just because your brain says you can do something and you think you’re essentially the fucking Terminator does not necessarily mean you can pull off any wacky weight cutting trick you want.

The meet itself went pretty well. I went 606-~~622~~ (called for depth)-~~644~~ (fail) on the squat, 227-355-369.8 on bench, and 617-644-~~655~~ (fail)on the deadlift. My second squat was so easy I just decided to pile on the weight and try to tie or break my total record at 181, and got a little overly ambitious. While I was recovered from walking pneumonia, I still had back tightness issues plaguing me throughout the last month that prevented me from doing a lot of heavy training. Additionally, Canadian 181 lb badass Willie Albert clued me in to the fact that the record at 181 in the squat is actually 673 (a Russian broke the squat record without knee sleeves, even, in 2011 or 2012), so I decided not to try 650. Thus, I was pretty aggressive in calling attempts because the whole thing was pretty much a wash anyway- my total reflected that as a result.

Ridiculously easy 622.

Bench actually went well due to my addition of volume training one day a week for chest, it seems. Rather than simply pounding singles, as I am wont to do, I took one day a week and did singles and doubles on close grip, and on another day did a traditional bodybuilder-type program. Thus, my benching looked like this:

Bench Day 1
Close Grip Bench Press
1 x 1 x 135, 225, 315
10 x 2 x 325-345
5 x 1 x 345-365

Pushdowns
10 x 10-20

Bench Day 2
Bench Press
5 x max 135
5 x max 225

Dumbbell Bench Press
5 x 10-20

Cable Crossover
5 x 10-20

Having more volume in my program seems to have helped with stabilizing my bench, which has a tendency to vary wildly from week to week and month to month. With this, I was able to steadily improve my lifting and actually ended up far stronger than my numbers would indicate from the meet- I erred on the side of caution for my third after missing my second and third on the squat.

Getting back to the meet, the most impressive lifter there was Vashon Perryman, apparent love child of Bryant Gumbel and Wayne Brady. This dude is nice as hell and so low on street cred that standing next to him I look like Eazy E, but he is one phenomenally strong motherfucker. Vashon broke both the squat and the deadlift record at this meet, which is a feat one would generally ascribe to Klokov and his ilk, and pretty soundly fucks my “specialize in one or the other theory” directly in its ass. In any event, Perryman hit 606 for his fourth on the squat and a ridiculous 716 on the deadlift to break both records. Sadly, his bench is even worse than mine and he thus left the total record remarkably unscathed, but the dude is definitely one to watch. Get on Facebook or something and show the dude some love- none of us are making any money at this, so you might as well make him grin more than usual over his afternoon tea and Tom Jones break by telling him what a bad motherfucker he is. That, or buy him a celebratory cardigan or something.

Krista makes an excellent beaker face.

For those of you who are curious, the gf did damn well in spite of the fact I forgot to tell her half of the rules, and hit a 242 squat, 126 bench, and was credited with her 275 opener on deadlift and not her 303 pull because I forgot to tell her she couldn’t drop it from her waist. She was a little overly hopped up on Hellfire at the time and appeared to have been having a panic attack as a result, but it was a badass performance for a 130 lb chick who’s only been powerlifting since August. She can only train with me when she’s in town, and thus doesn’t get the benefit of basking under the soft glow of my knowledge… though she never listens to me anyway, so anything I attempt to impart is ignored until someone else tells her. Apparently, I need to beat her more.

L-R: Me, Jay, Jason, IFBB pro and sole non-fisherman from Nova Scotia Greg Doucette, and Kade Weber.

Post meet, I went out with Willie (who’s a fucking maniac and generally awesome guy), Jay Nera (who I’m going to try to get on a podcast for at least one episode to discuss libertarianism, training, his love of Reese’s cups, and Crossfit), Kade Weber (who came within a hair’s breadth of breaking Larry Pacifico’s total record at 242), Jason Manenkoff, Krista (the gf), Sin Leung, Paul Ngyuen, Noriko Kariya (who has an awesome, full-back geisha tat) and a couple of other people and tore it up at some shitty dive bar in downtown Tampa. The post meet and day after hangouts with the lifters were probably more fun than the meet, and it was a good meet. In any event, good times were had, butts were hurt about a variety of things, and vascular abdominals were prominently displayed (including a set on Ann Vanderbush, who is now fucking shredded).

For now, it’s back to training whatever the fuck I want and eating my face off. No idea when I’ll do another meet, but the people shown above are definitely descending upon Clash for Cash to wreck fucking shop if it ends up happening.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

43 responses to “If Wishes Were Horses, We’d All Ride Instead Of Walk… And I’d Be Able To Make 165”

Erik

February 26, 2013

That's unfortunate. I'd rather see you hit the weight class you know you can do and throttle it to death or something instead of trying to drop so low.
Lonnie

February 26, 2013

Veins in the shins… Madness.

Are you planning on doing the Clash for Cash? As a non competitor in PL its always fun to watch yours and Pauls' meet preps and results.

What are your plans moving forward in terms of the 181 class?
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  Eat and train. I've been hungry for the last two months, and my training's been really restricted. Thus, going back to what I enjoy doing- training whatever the fuck I want and eating several thousand calories a day.
2. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  As to Clash, it might not happen. There's some sort of falling out going on between all of the guys involved. I'm not really privy to any of it, since I don't know any of the people involved. Word is that people are trying to get Kellum to put it on. If he doesn't, I'll see if the Canadians will put on a meet, maybe.
3. Jquid
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  Nice.
  How are you gonna structure the diet? High-calorie APD ou are you gonna play around with more carbs?
4. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 28, 2013
  
  I might try to blend the APD with Carb Backloading. I haven't decided yet.
KantoGymElite

February 27, 2013

Rippletits said he met you and said you were polite, wtf. How was the experience meeting the great messiah of lifting message boards?
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  Meh. Nothing Earth shattering.
2. Peter “Fucking” Baker
  
  February 28, 2013
  
  Rippetoe came across as a douche doing the announcing.
Unknown

February 27, 2013

Holy veins, Batman!! :O

Keep up the good work.

-Christine
Andre

February 27, 2013

congratulations on the meet!

also this post is so positive and that picture of you two is so cute that i really wonder if i've taken life advice from you in some SYWH comment thread. five stars, wood get out of your way in the pit/10!!
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  Hahahahaha. I've got to keep you fuckers on your toes.
jonathan

February 27, 2013

Hi Jamie
Sorry to hear the meet didn't go as you wanted. At least you gave it a shot on the cutting. A question on the bench routine you posted the (because I might want to try this idea at some point). I'd have thought that if I fatigued myself to the point where I missed 135 5 times over I would have trouble recovering enough to do many (any?) reps on 225 (or the percent scaled equivalents). Am I just plain wrong about how quickly to expect a falloff or do you just manage a few on the 225? also not sure if you remember me but I met you at ironsport once (think it was there 10 year celebration) I was the annoying kid you wanted to pay with your dog.
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  I'm not really clear on your meaning- are you asking if I go until I can't get a single rep on bench? If so, no. I'll generally go something like:
  1x50x135
  1x35x135
  1x15x135
  2x12x135
  5×5-10×225
2. jonathan
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  Thanks that's exactly what I wanted to know.
J

February 27, 2013

Nice. A podcast sounds interesting…. as long as you replace libertarianism with objectivism, and take out the reeses(thats willie and girls)…

-Nera
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 27, 2013
  
  The story went that YOU had them on your desk as well, haha. Shoot me an email and we'll get shit poppin. Also, send me your address when you send me your email. I have a book to send you.
Barath

February 27, 2013

Christian Thibadeau over at T-Nation often claims that his bench is the one lift that is severely body-weight dependent, and would take a hit at lower BW. I see that you have no such problems (unless I am mistaken). Do you find that any of your lifts takes a backseat while you cut?

Also, let me echo the other commenter and say the two of you look cute together. I fully expect you to get a cat soon and post pictures here.
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 28, 2013
  
  I despise cats. Next time we're at my parents' house we'll be sure to get a picture with the dog my parents stole from me.
  
  There's no reason why the bench should be bodyweight dependant, as a general rule. Thibs might just be weird like that.
2. Nathan
  
  March 1, 2013
  
  It's probably less bodyweight dependent and more calorie dependent, like Paul said. I've always noticed that calorie intake had a huge impact on my pressing,(even moreso overhead pressing) and virtually none on my pulling and squatting.
Dynamo Fitness/CrossFit O-Town

February 28, 2013

FUCK YOU LEWIS!!! you Jagar drinkin' motherfucker…oh I'm "Jaime Lewis, I have the alltime record at 181, I'm a fuckin' viking" whatever man and now a 165lb freak pulls 325kg I hate this shit!!!…lol…it was a good time and awesome meeting you man, even if you did duck out of the bar early and miss the uprooting of an innocent tree…your a fuckin' monster and one day we may clash but till then good luck my friend…and yes I eat the reeses but I don't know what the "and girls" part is…

-WA
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 28, 2013
  
  > but I don't know what the "and girls" part is…
  
  The day I meet a girl who wouldn't cut off their husband's cock for a bag of Reese's will be the first.
  
  We will definitely do battle at some point, even if it's just with a bottle of moonshine, haha.
NK

February 28, 2013

What is wrong with these Canadians?? I'm glad you bounced early and missed the misbehavior of Will. Thanks for the tat shout out.

NK
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  February 28, 2013
  
  Walking into Waffle House the next morning and having everyone shit their pants was the highlight of the weekend for me. Those people will be talking about that for years. Our crew drew more stares than anyone, ever. Circus freaks don't get that much attention.
Dread

March 1, 2013

Do you and you gf find that Hellfire works well for a fat burner?
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  March 1, 2013
  
  Yup, though she tweaks on it.
2. Dread
  
  March 7, 2013
  
  My Amazon order came in today, and I don't blame your GF one bit.
Manny M

March 1, 2013

That sucks. Are you going to try and break the records at 181 now Jamie?

A few unrelated questions:

1. What's your opinion on rabbit starvation/mal de caribou/protein poisoning? Early explorers and artic trappers died from it so its obviously real and yet the Apex Predator Diet seems to contradict it?

2. I'm currently 6" and 165 I would like to get to at least 200 with < 10% bf. I like the chaos and pain approach to training and I want to try the Apex Predator Diet. Do you think its possible following the Apex Predator diet as you laid out? Will I need to add more fat? Do more than one carb re-feed a week? Drink virgin's blood?

3. My bench is lagging. I can't seem to engage my back in the lift. Any idea what I'm doing wrong? I've experimented with different bar positions and grip widths.
1. Gavin
  
  March 2, 2013
  
  rabbit starvation occurs simply when you dont have enough fat in your diet. High protein diets work best with moderate to high fat. so, when eating a diet completely of rabbit you would starve with out fat. unless im mistaken the APD advocates eating meat off the bone (beef ribs) which are pretty high in fat. so you dont need to worry. besides if you simply take a multi youll be fine.
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_starvation
  if you do a keto diet youll lose weight. nuff said
2. Cyclefag
  
  March 3, 2013
  
  The role of the lats in the bench press is as a thoracic extensor. You might get some small cramping in the upper back right at the lats tie-in to the spine when you get it right
Max

March 1, 2013

Great lifting at RUM, Jamie. We both did very well. I'm glad that I was able to talk to you over there.
Rant

March 1, 2013

Cocks, tits, arse.
Rant

March 1, 2013

Bullshit, steroids. I hate midgets.
1. Adam
  
  March 3, 2013
  
  squatting ass to grass, rant i think your father is in this
  
  http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=aff_1362079177
2. Rant
  
  March 3, 2013
  
  Ha ha, you're right he is!! Working with Jamie's soon to be father in law. And here's a clip of your mom chatting with your auntie –
  
  http://www.xhamster.com/movies/1611133/2_omas_mit_richtig_fetten_eutern_3.html
Aiden

March 2, 2013

Mikhail Koklyaev as a baddest motherfucker ever? the mans a beast.
Jamie Lewis

March 3, 2013

Pretty sure I griped the most during the morning walk to acquire breakfast… across the street 0_o Nice meeting you!
1. Jamie Lewis
  
  March 12, 2013
  
  Nice meeting you too! I think most of us were griping- Tampa heat + hangovers = griping.
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