Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy #3- Lift Her Up Just Like A Pick Up Truck

I’m Sure To Score, Endure For More Without A Flaw
I have found of late that the more frequently I train my shoulders, the better they look and the stronger they are.  Over the last two years I’ve gone from once or twice a week to anywhere between 4 and 8 times a week and the only way my shoulders could get stronger, leaner, or more vascular would be if they morphed into my cock.  Additionally, training Klokov Presses (snatch-grip, strict, behind-the-neck military presses for British assholes who like extraordinarily wordy exercise names) on a daily basis seems to have helped my pressing abilities overall, in addition to training my ability to grind an exercise well beyond that to which I am typically used.  I’ll get to grinding in a moment.  Before I do, however, you should take note of the fact that the best pressers in the world, just like the best benchers and best deadlifters, practiced their lift of choice as often and aggressively as male bonobos masturbates, which is to say “very“.

As I realize that bitching about drugs is set to commence at any time and that half of you are already masturbating furiously, drooling on yourself, and screeching “STEROIDS!!” like you’re Bobcat Golthwait on a half pound of cocaine in the eleventh installment of the Police Academy series, I’ll impart a bit of wisdom from the almighty Dezso Ban, who seems to be a fairly well-respected (if obscure) strength coach.  For those of you who require more evidentiary information before accepting the advice of a long dead man with a bizarre name, he was the strength coach of a variety of exceptional lifters in the 60s and 70s, and was an accomplished lifter himself.  According to Anthony Ditillo,

“At a bodyweight of around 190 lb. he clean and jerked close to 380. He power cleaned and pressed 285 for 3 sets of 5 repetitions; regularly did shrug pulls from the floor with close to 500 lbs.; stiff leg deadlifted 605 for three doubles, after a 50-set back workout and front squatted, Olympic style, 455 for 5 reps. He also did back squats, Olympic style, 445 for 5 sets of 5; hyperextensions with 185 on his shoulders; once shrugged 940 lb. for a triple (I witnessed this myself); snatch grip shrugged 775 for sets and reps between 5 and 10 and he also power cleaned with thumbless grip and NO KNEE DIP WHATSOEVER, 335 lbs.”(Ditillo)  

Ban’s opinions on training were not markedly unlike my own, proving once more that I was born on the wrong continent and in the wrong time period, what with my belief that human beings are capable of far more awesome in any given day than most strength coaches would allow in a week.  In any event,

“Dezso believes in training six days per week. Three Squat days, three Pull days and Presses are done EVERY DAY that you train. The total number of sets of leg work goes to around 50 per workout, along with close to 30 sets of pressing. This is done three days per week. On alternate days he would do close to 50 sets pulls along with an additional 20 to 30 sets of pressing movements. We should also include the assistance work such as Roman Chair for the abdominals and Hyperextensions for the lower back. These were also done three times per week.”(Ditillo)  

In other words, Ban was recommending that natural lifters train shoulders 6 days a week for a minimum of 20 sets a day.  Ban was incredibly old-school, and developed his training methods prior to the advent of steroids.  Given that his greatest pupil, Anthony Ditillo, could perform “a seated press to his forehead with 435 pounds for 3 reps”(Poliquin), Deszo seems to have known what the fuck he was talking about.

Given the fact that Ditillo resembled no one more than alleged strongman and obviously homeless Milo contributor Steve Justa, you might require further evidence.  It’s a bit of a pain in the ass to find information on great pressers at this point, given that pressing’s no longer a competitive lift in any major sport.  Certainly MHP is leading the way in the effort to bring the lift back by including it in their pro meets, but that’s about the only place you’re going to see pressing in competition outside of strongman.  Thus, you either need to jump in the wayback machine to find old school oly lifters or look to our strongmen for inspiration.  Thus, I’ve done just that for you guys.  The following lifters are considered some of the best in their respective sports, and put more weight overhead than most of you have likely successfully squatted.

Rip Up The Whole Set, I’m About As Bad As You Can Get

Jim Bradford–  Back before most of us were born, a beast of an Olympian named Jim Bradford shrugged off some of America’s collective Olympic weightlifting shame with what has been described as a military press so pretty it made Marilyn Monroe look like the chick from the show Mike and Molly.  According to US Olympic Weightlifting coach Jim Schmitz, “Bradford just stood straight and pressed 180 kg with his arms and shoulders, using pure raw strength” while “While everyone else was doing a little heave and layback.”  Bradford took two silvers in the Olympics, and posted his best numbers in the 1960 Tokyo games, in which he posted a 1129 3/4 total consisting of a 396.75 press, a 330.5 snatch, and a 402.25 clean and jerk at a bodyweight of 286 lbs.

Bradford’s routine, according to John McCallum, is as follows.  Oddly, it makes no mention of the Bradford Press, named for the epic presser.  If you’ve not heard of it, it’s likely not because you’ve never done it, but rather because you simply had no idea what it’s called.  It was one of the first overhead movements I ever learned, though, and has always been the Jermaine Jackson of my shoulder workouts- a nice accessory, but it’s not the stuff on which one would hang one’s hopes and dreams.  In spite of the fact that I’ve been doing them for over 15 years, I only just discovered their name while researching Jim Bradford.  In high school we  called them front-to-backs, which is as apt a name as you’d find- the exercise consists of half presses from the back to the chest that go just high enough to graze the top of your head.  Thus, the bar basically moves in a short arc over your head and keeps constant tension on the shoulders.  If nothing else, it’s a damn good warmup.  Irrespective of that omission, it’s worth noting that Bradford put heavy weights overhead every single time he trained, either in a press or a snatch.

Jim Bradford Routine
Monday/Thursday:
Barbell Shoulder Press: 5 sets of 3 reps
Barbell Curl: 5 sets of 3 reps
Squat: Sets of 3 reps —- adding 10 lbs every set —– keep going until you miss
Pullovers: 8-10 reps (light weight) after every set of squats

Tuesday/Friday:
Bench Press: 5 sets of 3 reps (using same weight on each set)
Hang Snatch: 5 sets of 3 reps
Hang Power Cleans: 5 sets of 3 reps
Deadlift: Sets of 2 reps until you miss (each set increase poundage by 20-30lbs)

Ken Patera–  Another of America’s greatest weightlifting products, Ken Patera had perhaps the sickest press of all time, pushing 500 overhead with no leg drive.  Though his press wasn’t quite the Mona Lisa that was Bradford’s, Patera was still the first person to press 500 overhead.  Patera’s best relevant lifts were Clean and Press: 505.5, Press Behind Neck: 418, 405×2, Press off rack: 535, Overhead squat: 440-3/4, and a Steep incline press: 485.  If you’re in the mood to get dick-slapped by one of the strongest and craziest motherfuckers on Earth, check out his Baddest Motherfuckers entry here– you’ll leave feeling as though you might have completely failed at life.  Like Bradford, Patera put heavy weights overhead every time he entered the gym, and trained at exceptionally high percentages of his one rep max.  The workout below may or may not be entirely accurate- it was the only one I could find, and makes no mention of sets.  Thus, take it for what it’s worth- it’s at least an example that you can train shoulders extremely heavily three times a week.

Ken Patera’s Routine
Monday:
Overhead squats: 135×3, 203×3, 255×3, 295×2, 325×2
Front squats: 225×3, 315×3, 405×3, 455×2, 520×1
Snatch high pulls from blocks: 225×3, 315×3, 365×3, 405×3
Press Behind Neck: 135×3, 205×3, 255×3, 305×3, 345×1

Wednesday:
Press off rack: 135×5, 225×3, 395×2, 355×2, 405×1, 440×1, 480×1, 325×5
Clean grip high pulls: 255×3, 305×2, 355×2, 405×2, 455×2, 505×2, 555×2
Hyperextensions: three sets of ten (no weight)

Friday:
Snatch: 135×3, 205×3, 255×2, 295×1, 315×1, 340×1, 360×1
Inclines: 225×5, 395×5, 345×3, 405×3, 430×1
Good Mornings: 135×5, 205×5, 255×5, 305×5

“I’ve heard it suggested before that lifters should use Max Effort work to learn how to strain.  The idea is that straining against a heavy weight will teach you further to strain during max attempts.  For someone who can’t grind, asking them to strain during Max Effort work is like asking them to lift a PR through sheer force of effort.  It’s not that they don’t want to strain – it’s that they can’t.  Granted, they may be able to strain during some lifts, but chances are those lifts don’t target their weak area of the force curve and likely won’t result in improved performance.

So what SHOULD they do?  The first thing to realize is that the best way to fix this kind of problem is not by any particular exercise.  If the above example was a bench press, then many people would no doubt try a very low board press or pin press to correct this problem.  That’s usually not going to work because even if you do get the board height correct, you won’t be training the same kind of strength that will transfer well to the contest lift.  A better approach is by doing more reps.

The Max Effort crowd does get at least one thing right – if you want to get better at grinding (and improve your force curve), then you have to practice.  But how does someone practice doing something they can’t do?  In this case, it’s by doing more reps.  Instead of doing max effort singles, do triples instead.  Do rep work instead of speed work.  How many reps really depends on where it fits in your training, but I would normally suggest 4 to 6 reps.  Work up to a 5 rep max instead of doing speed work and see how that plays out in the next several weeks.

If you don’t follow the Westside template, the trend is still fundamentally the same.  More reps per set.  A good friend of mine developed this problem while doing Sheiko-style training cycles.  He did an 8 week cycle where he kept the volume and intensity the same, but he simply did more reps in each set.  So instead of doing 5 sets of 3 at 80%, he did 4 sets of 4 at 80%.  That’s roughly the same number of reps and the same load, but more reps in each set.  The end result was some nice PR’s and an ability to grind that he had never experienced before.”(Tuscherer)

Most of us are likely used to grinding on a great many exercises, ranging from hip thrusts to deadlifts, but never once gave a thought to grinding overhead lifts.  This is likely why you fucking suck at them, if you do- you can’t grind it out.  Tuscherer gives his two cents above on the solution- more reps, while I have a slightly altered take- do reps on exercises that force you to grind.  Two exercises immediately spring to mind when I think of grinding out overhead presses- the Klokov Press and the Savickas Press.

The Klokov Press
The Klokov Press, otherwise known by whiny bitches on the internet by its intensely unwieldy original moniker “strict, snatch-grip, behind-the-neck press”, is a lift recently popularized by a video of Russian Olympic Weightlifting phenom Dmitri Klokov performing it.  The lift is just as its name would indicate- it’s a strict, snatch-grip, behind-the-neck press.  From what I’ve gathered, it’s basically a warmup for Olympic weightlifters, and it’s a hell of a warmup for anyone who a) wants to learn how to grind, b) wants more shoulder volume without overly taxing the rest of their body, and c) wants to get massive, ripped, supremely strong shoulders.  There’s not a great deal to this exercise other than a concentrated effort not to use one’s legs to drive the bar, and an unremitting desire to put the fucking weight overhead no matter the mental cost.  This lift is fucking brutal, but it pays dividends.  Since I began doing them, my behind the neck push press jumped from a horribly stalled 315 to 345, and it continues to rise.  I credit the Klokov Press more or less entirely with the improvement, as I’ve not trained the BTNPP much in recent months due to its horrifyingly complete exhaustion of every muscle group in your body.  For these, I typically range in reps over the course of the week from 10 to 1, alternating heavy and light days and generally staying in the 3-5 range.

The Savickas Press is the brainchild of a strongman who should really need no introduction, but if you’ve not heard of him, he won the World’s Strongest Man twice, the Arnold Strongman Classic six times, the IFSA Strongman World Championships twice, Fortissimus, the 2008 Strongman Champions League overall title, and Europe’s Strongest Man twice.  As such, when he imparts training wisdom, you should get out your fucking notepad and start scribbling notes as furiously as a stenographer in a trial that has Twista and Tech N9ne as its chief witnesses.  Savickas is considered to be the greatest strongman presser of all time, and holds the world record in a shitload of pressing events(Wiki):

Apollon’s Axle Press for Max Weight – 215 kg (470 lb)
Apollon’s Axle Press for Reps – 166 kg (370 lb) × 8
Log lift for Max Weight – 217.5 kg (480 lb) (
Giant Wooden Log lift for Max Weight – 210 kg (460 lb)
Apollon’s Wheels Overhead for Reps – 155 kg (340 lb) × 8 reps
Metal Block press – 150 kg (330 lb)

Clearly, the motherfucker knows what he’s doing.  Savickas credits his overhead strength with his eponymous lift.  The lift is done seated in a squat rack, with a regular BB, a fat bar, an axle or a log at shoulder height. With your legs straight out in front of you, flat on the floor (no bent knee),  press the bar/log overhead.  Savickas seems to favor a set/rep scheme of 6×3, so you’ll probably want to stick with that.(Schmidt)  To be honest, I lack the hamstring flexibility to do this, but have managed it sitting cross-legged.  It’s a bitch.  One recommendation I’ve seen online is to have your spotter stand behind you with his knee in your back to catch you if you tip backwards, which seems like a reasonable enough suggestion provided you have a training partner.

If you have at least one arm and don’t put start putting weight overhead on a daily or near-daily basis after reading this, it’s only because you aren’t concerned with the shame you’re bringing upon your family name.

Go press.