Plague of Strength

I ran into Newt at the NJ Horror Con a couple of months ago, where he caught my eye by working the mouth on a couch monster he’d brought to the convention (and no, I didn’t put my dick in it, however funny that might have been in retrospect).  Both wildly unprepared to hobnob, we managed to connect on social media without having either’s contact info (neither of us remembered to bring our cards), and I’ve since discovered that his and my paths have crossed weirdly over the years without us ever meeting.  For instance, we’ve missed each other by months living in Tucson, the Philly suburbs, and south Jersey, and Newt now manages the movie theater in which I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre III with my dad, who wore a three piece suit to take me on a random Thursday night in seventh grade and visibly hated every motherfucking minute of it, to my endless amusement (he played the crotchety old man to the hilt, but as his favorite movie was Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town, I’m sure he enjoyed it).  

That being my absolute favorite memory of my dad, I was crazy psyched to find Newt bought the theater and is keeping it going, and is also a massive horror nerd who runs Shlock and Awe Films, a no-budget Troma-esque film production studio, with his partner Crystal Quin.

Newt’s currently working on Planet Frankenstein, which he described to me a The Raid, but in which the cops are Frankenstein’s monster’s daughters and they break into a Supermax monster prison to break out their dad.  Amidst the bloodbath, they have to fight one of the legendary classic monsters as end bosses for each level of the prison. Tell me that’s not a slice of fried fucking gold.

Given that you guys are forever asking me for movie, book, and music recommendations, I figured who better to ask for horror recommendations than someone who’s actually working in the industry?  So here we are- meet Newt Wallen.

Q: Did I leave any of your illustrious career out?  Seems like you have interactions with pro athletes as well, and I recall you mentioning you’re pissed you don’t have time for the gym at present.  Are/were you an athlete, and what did I leave out?

A:  I was in a movie about Ryan Leaf once after a run in on an airplane in my teen years. But beyond that a lot of Flyers and Phillies and Eagles have frequented my theaters over the years. I played hockey my whole life. Used to be pretty good despite always being the smallest guy on the ice or floor. These days my work schedule does not allow me to get on skates or to the gym.. Thankfully stress squashes my appetite.

Q:  Haha.  Yeah, I guess that is a plus.  But hockey, you must love Goon, eh?  That ranks as one of my all time favorite flicks.

A:  Goon was really fun. 2 not so much. BUT… Slapshot is the holy grail.

Q: These guys are fucking animals when it comes to horror, which is awesome.  The sort of Plague of Strength horror movie starter pack is:

• Devil’s Rejects
• August Underground’s Mordum
• The Woman
• Nekromantik
• Return of the Living Dead 3
• Army of Darkness
• Pervert!

And I’ve also heavily recommended the Possession of Michael King, Cabin in the Woods, The Babysitter, and a bunch of others.  What are the essential, must see horror movies in your mind?  Any hot takes on the ones I’ve got up there?

A: Devils Rejects is by far Zombie’s most streamlined film. So tends to be the one most mainstream viewers like.

[Did I just get called a basic bitch?  Hahahaha. Point to you, sir.]

The Woman is a very nasty little revenge flick. I like Lucky Magee as a filmmaker. But I remember reading how it was SOOOO intense viewers were fainting at screenings. And when I saw it I thought….okay…..

[They fainted during the woman?  Weird. Maybe getting slapped in the face with the hypocrisy of suburban morality was just too much for them to bear, haha]

Nekromantik is one I like to show new gf’s. Gauge their tastes with weirdo flicks like that or Eraserhead or El Topo. I have the Nekromantik German movie poster and score- such a pretty score for such a grimy flick.

Return of the Living Dead 3 is much better than 2. But is always overlooked due to its lower budget. Julie is one of the best zombie designs in horror history. Her look always reminds me of the Bride of Frankenstein. Creepy and still sexy.

Army of Darkness. I mean what else can you say about Army of Darkness that someone more talented than me has not already said. Hail to the King Baby.

My must-see, absolute essential top five are:

• Creepshow
• Poltergeist
• Bride of Frankenstein
• Evil Dead 2
• Deep Red

Fulci’s The Beyond and Argento’s Deep Red are my Pluto- sometimes one’s a planet and sometimes one’s not on my top 5 list.

Q: That’s one hell of an interesting list! You’re a man of the classics, I see. Frankly, I think we need a scientific study done on the brains and behaviors of people who prefer either AOD or ED2- I have no idea what the difference in our perception of the world is, but there must be something profound lying at the root of it. That, or it’s something as banal as whichever film we saw first.

In re the rest- I’ve never actually seen Nekromantik all the way through, because at some point fucking starts.  Same goes with A Serbian Film, which I think is overrated, but great for really uncomfortable silence after fucking to it.  I’ll have to give El Topo a watch- Eraserhead gives me a fucking headache though, like Tetsuo the Iron Man- those fucking screeching noises aren’t atmospheric or creepy.  They’re just fucking obnoxious. I’ve literally never noticed the music in Nekromantik, because again, sex. I’ll have to watch it by myself at some point and see what’s doing with the score.

As to ROTLD3, that chick is SO HOT after she makes her zombie turn and gets all pierced up.  

A: I like that she uses the piercings to make the pain and hunger of being dead go away. Plays nice into lore from first film.

Q: Definitely, and also… fuck it’s hot.

From what the guys in Psychostick said, Bruce Campbell literally IS Ash in real life, and hanging out with him is the closest a living human can get to hanging out with Elvis.  He’s that fucking cool.

While I’m name dropping, I happened to talk to Kane Hodder briefly about Adam Green’s Digging Up the Marrow and he was genuinely surprised I’d seen it, which blew my mind, because I’ve seen it half a dozen times.  I happened to meet Jenna Jameson at a powerlifting meet years ago and she was similarly shocked that I own, love, and had many questions for her about Zombie Strippers.  Her shock is understandable, though, since I’d imagine she was beset on all sides by dudes with hairy palms saying just preposterously inappropriate shit to her- Kane’s surprise seemed to indicate he didn’t think the movie was well received.  (And unrelated- Jenna is far more intelligent and interesting than anyone gives her credit for, frankly, and seemed to know her shit, horror-wise)

So, what did you think of Digging Up the Marrow?  I thought it was a pretty awesome little film that seems to have gotten no love, and was really well done on a pretty small budget.  As someone who could conceivably work on a film like that, did you like the way he executed it? Ray Wise was fucking awesome in it.

A: I have still yet to see if. But I really like Green’s work. The cover art is really intriguing as well. I am super behind on recent stuff. Its on Hulu and Amazon so i need to start catching up on shit.   

Q: Well damn- I’ll have to give you my Amazon login so you can check that out, along with the Possession of Michael King, which is the best possession movie by far and away.

A: I need to start making a list of shit I need to watch to start inspiring shit I need to write.

Q: Ha!  I’m be happy to help with that if you want!  Growing up, we all went through our Troma phase- Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke ‘Em High, Poultrygeist, that sort of thing.  You never left that phase, it seems, which is awesome.  Which Troma movies are your favorites? And with the proliferation of direct to video shit, where are all of these movies today?  Aside from Kung Fury and Zombeavers, you almost never see that genre represented anywhere.

A:  I hated Kung Fury. Manborg and Turbo Kid were waaaay better representations of that post modern VHS craze. I discovered Troma in 5th grade when I saw on the Toxie box it said the 1ST SUPERHERO FROM NEW JERSEY. And being a Garden Stater I needed to get that goodness inside my eye holes as quick as possible. I don’t know. I bounce around with Troma. I really loved Cannibal the Musical and Tromeo and Juliet and Terror Firmer I saw in early 2000’s  and I still have my vhs of Troma’s War and Combat Shock. But I would fall out for periods of time and come back to something Poultrygeist or Return to Nukem High which had bit more money and energy behind them it seemed. But I def don’t follow them as much as I did in the 90s.   

Q: Fair enough- Turbo Kid was indeed far better than Kung Fury.  We’re going to have to agree to disagree on Manborg, though, because that movie was hot fucking garbage, haha.

Tromeo and Juliet is by far and away my favorite Troma Flick- I’m right there with you.  And I completely forgot that the South Park Guy’s first flick (Cannibal) was a Troma movie.  

I did leave out some great stuff- Wolfcop springs to mind (AND HOLY SHIT THERE IS A WOLFCOP 2!), Pervert! and Bad Biology (similarly awesome date night flicks about killer dicks), and Beyond the Gates (about a VHS horror board game), but those movies seem to be few and far between now.

A: Buddy of mine distributed Wolf Cop 2. I held Philly premiere at my theater. Beyond the Gates was sooooo disappointing. Awesome poster by my buddy Marc. Fantastic concept… then… ehhhhh. I mean I do love Barbara Crampton. I also recently just watched Skeletons in the Closet, which like Beyond the Gates takes 80s nostalgia and does NOTHING interesting with the concept. But what the fuck do I know? At least they made finished flicks that you can watch right now, and I’m still putting my stuff together.  

Q: Well damn- way to shit in my cereal, man… and the world did not need another shitty TV anthology series after the shit SYFY has been foisting upon us. I love anthologies, so seeing such terrible shit shoved in our faces and being told its stellar is obnoxious.

My other favorite for shlock films is Cannon- those guys made some excellent garbage back in the day, haha.  Shit like Robot Jox/Robot Wars, Van Damme’s Cyborg, and Stallone’s epic Cobra.  You have any faves from them?  I’ve been meaning to watch the documentary, but never got around to it.

A: There were actually two Cannon docs. One, I think, Eli Roth produced (The Go-Go Boys). The other (Electric Boogaloo)was done by the team who did Not Quite Hollywood and Machete Maidens Unleashed. Cannon is a big inspiration when I start certain scripts. I tend to go back and gorge myself on a heaping helping of gun play and explosions and basic character motivations. Cause thats the kinda scripts my producer wants to see. Lifeforce is I think my fave Cannon film. It’s much bigger than their regular flicks and has all these weird ideas and imagery that you could only pull off in the Reagan era.

Speaking of Tobe Hooper, one of my all time fave things he ever did was the opening titles of Funhouse. Has nothing to do with this conversation. Just wanted to bring it up. Cause its awesome.

Q: I’ll have to give Lifeforce a rewatch, because I always found it slow.  I tend to despise the average vampire movie, so I gave that one a shot for its uniqueness and Mathilda May’s insane 70s body.  I have no idea how they got those bodies or where they went, because those hip to waist ratios are not a thing without plastic surgery anymore. In any event, Lifeforce was, without question, the top of the heap for Cannon in a production sense.

A: Life-sucking, sexy, naked space vampires will always win my heart. And I love how mad Cannon got when they saw Chainsaw 2 and did not realize he was making a satirical comedy.

Q: Really? I’ve not heard that story. Like I said, my favorite of the series will always be three, in spite of the fact it was butchered in editing. My sole recollection of the second, having watched it while faking sick in eighth grade, was the scene where someone kicks a wall and all the guts pour out. I’ll have to rewatch it and look into the story behind it.

This year has already been amazing for movies, and it just keeps getting better.  We’ve got the sequel to Devil’s Rejects dropping, Brightburn (which looks fucking amazing), the Child’s Play reboot, It 2- the dance card is packed.  Are there any movies about which we might not know but should? Shed of the Dead strikes me as one that is a must see, but I’d imagine you must know of some gems of which we’ve not heard.

A: This summer is gonna give us a new GODZILLA that will essentially be the America version of DESTROY ALL MONSTERS. I am more excited about that then I was any Marvel movies. And a new Tarentino Film. I always get up for his flicks.

Q: Ha- I completely forgot about Tarentino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.  That reverse aging shit is not my cup of tea, really.  I might wait to get your review on it- Tarentino did make Four Rooms, after all- they’re not all gems.

If I’m honest, the books I snagged at the NJ HorrorCon (at which I’ll have a table this fall) were thoroughly not good, but I buy them to support people out there giving it hell.  Like the movies I buy and often never watch- the people who make them are so passionate I want to help them down the path.

Do you read any horror fiction?  The last excellent horror novel I read was The Silence by Tim Lebbon, which was ripped off by that dude from the Office and made into A Quiet Place, then made again into Silence.  Both films sucked in comparison to the book. Have any recommendations there?

A: My book shelves are films with old film books. About theaters and poster art an film theory and bios of the likes of Ed Wood or Roger Corman. My producer Joe Chapman gave me Ad Nauseam which is made up of horror movies news paper ads from 70s and 80s. I fucking love it. And I got myself Analog Nightmare which is this hard back about the shot on video era.

Q: Ahhh, interesting.  Roger Corman definitely gets short shrift for his influence on the evolution of film, and I have noticed there is some shitty dance song out now that is a direct ripoff of a song in that sequel to Death Race 2000 that came out a couple years ago, which is bizarre.  The whole point of that song was to point out the inanity of modern music and they just ripped the song off like it isn’t mocking itself.  Fucking bizarre.

A: Really, I have to look that up. I saw the 2000’s remake. Which was attempting to cash in on the Fast and Furious movies. Cormans own sequel I caught on Netflix and fucking hated. Was so lazy and cheap.

Q: It’s called Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050, which I thought was fucking phenomenal.  I mean, when your bar is set as low as The Fantastic Four, it’s hard to do worse.  2050’s social commentary is pretty biting, go-for-the-throat stuff.  And I agree- Death Race was utter trash, though I do love Jason Statham, haha.  And the weird little stammering guy from The Longest Yard remake is weirdly endearing as well.  

A: Corman produced Fantastic Four is still the best Fantastic Four movie not called The Incredibles.

Q: Hahaha- I’ll give you that.  As bad as it was, it was leaps and bounds better than the two others.  Oh, last random movie question- how much did you love Mandy?  I saw a midnight showing of it at the Ritz downtown, and that’s the best moviegoing experience I’ve ever had.  The crowd was going fucking nuts, the movie itself was batshit, and Nicholas Cage definitely declared he is back.  

Also, have you seen the plot for his next movie?  He’s training an MMA fighter who has to fight an alien in hand to hand combat every six years to stave off an invasion.  So fucking metal.

A: Nic Cage is legit my fave actor of all time. Good or bad. Dudes always dialed to 11. And gives you something different each film. I liked Beyond the Black Rainbow and when I first read about Mandy, I was all in. Then i saw the trailer and I was thinking “how can I replace my blood with this movie and live forever like a manic feral Nic Cage?!?”  I loved it. Cage is doing Lovecraft’s Color Out Of Space next with Richard Stanley. So i expect more cinematic insanity.

Q: Oh yeah- I forgot about that.  They’ve got the same company doing the colors for that, which means it’ll be trippy as fuck.  Speaking of that, it’s wild that having special colorists for film is back in vogue- I thought that shit died the second the digital age began.

Alrighty, it’s plug time!  Plug anything and everything you want- I really appreciate you taking the time to answer some questions.  It’s cool as shit to be able to get an insider’s take on horror movies.

A: I appreciate the interest. I have been plugging along for over a decade now trying to get my stupid ideas out into peoples peepers. So many false starts and half measures. But built enough of a catalog of completed scripts and short teaser trailers and sexy painted poster art so people would take me KINDA seriously. So myself and my producing partner Crystal Quin rebranded and launched SCHLOCK AND AWE FILMS this year. This summer we finish MIDNIGHT SHOW which has Ron Jeremy, Lemmy, Gilbert Godfrey, and Lloyd Kaufman in it. Been making it for 6 years now.  Its a feature made of fake grindhouse trailers and animation and ads.

Wrote at least 9 scripts last year with all the topless warrior women. Blood, mummies, robot zombies and Planet Frankensteins to please lovers of cult b movies. and also wrote buncha comic book stuff for a line we are launching. So we have no shortage of fun trash for 2019 and 20 and on and on and on.

Q: Dude, those all look fucking awesome.  Black Friday 2 is very reminiscent of my favorite fake trailer of all time, Thanksgiving, and anything that puts me in mind of Eli Roth is a good thing indeed. Well, keep us updated on what you have coming up so we can throw support behind it, and I’ll hit you up when Tara and I do a review of Godzilla so we can get your take.  Here’s hoping they finally get that one right!

Yo, do Newt a favor and slap a like on Schlock and Awe’s Facebook page, and throw a like on his trailers if you thought they were as awesome as I did. He and I are from that old school DIY ethos, so whatever you can do to help him out is much appreciated… especially since if he gets enough support he can make these insane films a reality, and I think we can all agree that Planet Frankenstein needs to happen. And your support wouldn’t hurt to get my overly-muscled ass to be seen waddling through one of his films so that I can live up to the promise I showed as the Admiral in the HMS Pinafore in middle school. Yes, that’s a real thing and no, I thankfully have no knowledge of pictures of that incident.

Up next, I’m taking it back to the OG Westside series to set shit straight about Bill “Peanuts” West, gear whoring, man whoring, and a bunch of other crazy shit surrounding that dude.

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