Teaser- 365 Days of Brutality: An Anti-Programming Manifesto

Jamie Chaos

July 4, 2019

For those of you who have been patiently awaiting the third part of the Bill West series, I hope that the rewritten BMEs (including this one about Bruce Randall that I back dated just to keep from reposting old shit nonstop) have at least sated your insatiable ironlust somewhat- as you’ll soon see, I have basically been writing around the fucking clock in an effort to produce my magnum opus regarding strength training. This goddamn thing is already 250+ pages in 9pt font and will likely top out at over 300 when all of the formatting is complete, and I’m releasing it on Chaos and Pain and Amazon. It’ll be in epub for download, and will have a print version available on Amazon. And since I’ve already been asked, we’re working on figuring out a solution for signed copies. Likely I’ll just buy a few and sign them when people order them through Chaos and Pain.

Incidentally, I’m also full time with Chaos and Pain again, and we’re going to be making a bunch of changes to streamline it and take it back to its super hardcore roots. I’ll keep you updated on that. Sadly, the human flesh based protein is retardedly expensive and difficult to produce, and human flesh is high in the very aminos used in nitrogen spiking, which is an incredibly nerdy conversation for another time, so that idea is dead, though I am still planning on doing a super death metal label for a limited run of protein that will be called Cannibal Fuel.

All that shit aside, here is a sneak preview at 365 Days of Brutality: An Anti-Programming Manifesto, which will be dropping very, very soon.

An Introduction to Anti-Programming

“Work hard, play hard. And whatever you do, do it with the volume turned up.”

-Nolan Bushnell, genius founder of Atari and Chuck E. Cheese, and arguably the best employer in the history of commerce

Over the course of the last ten years, it seems, lifting has gone from a pastime for athletic misfits who wanted an outlet for their aggression and testosterone to a milquetoast, mainstream pastime that most people view as work, and one that most lifters treat like they’re punching a clock on an assembly line. Gone is the artistry, inventiveness, and camaraderie, replaced by a bunch of dickheads in pastel velour and lame ass Gymshark shirts bearing spiritless programs created by soulless, thieving, snake oil salesmen with no respect for the culture they’re actively destroying.

What you will find in these pages are a hazy outline of success, not a step-by-step guide to physical greatness. There is no step-by-step roadmap to success, and anyone who says otherwise is selling you a goddamn lie. Champions are forged, not formulated, and it is the fire of their will that shapes them, not the byzantine mathematical process by which some long-dead Russian prescribed training methods for a pack of half-starved peasants living in a perpetual haze of horrific pollution under a brutal, despotic regime (I’m talking about periodization, for those of you who don’t get the reference).

That’s right- this is an anti-programming manifesto. If you shelve this book next to a copy of Zatsiorsky’s text or Siff’s bland bullshit, there is a very real chance those other books will screech and burn and run flaming into the night. Nevermind the ethereal, spidery arms of doom projecting from this book’s cover when that happens- they’re just here to keep you safe from the spate of know-nothing charlatans who consider Henry Ford to be the godfather of modern bodybuilding.

No matter what 150lb “gurus” on Instagram might assert, programming is, by and large, utter bullshit. It’s unnecessary and counterproductive for most people, and has been sold to people who don’t know any better because it takes thought out of the equation and allows lifters to blame other people when their progress stalls or the program fails. And even when it succeeds, what assures the lifter that they could not have matched the results they achieved, or exceeded them, simply on the merits of their own hard work? Nothing. That’s what.

Maybe you drive the speed limit on a deserted highway in the middle of the night, when there’s no traffic. You could get where you’re going a hell of a lot faster, but you’re of the opinion that slow and steady wins the race, and you’re gonna follow the directions of a person you’ve never met to get the most people to a destination in a reasonable period of time, not the people who blazed new trails, tried alternative routes and different means of travel. Well, if you are that kind of slow-and-steady wins the race type, put this book down and walk away, and enjoy your lifetime of drudgery and mediocrity.

This thing has workouts from greats you’ve never heard of, but should have, and ones you know all about (but hopefully including shit you didn’t already hear), from arm wrestling, powerlifting, weightlifting, bodybuilding, strongman, and some random weirdos thrown in for good measure. Some of the people included in 365 Days:

Big Z
Harold Poole
Manfred Hoerberl
Klokov
Brutil Bertil Fox
Vince Anello
Pudz
Marvin Eder
Leo Stern
Larry Pacifico
The Chinese Olympic Weightlifting Team
Dorian Yates
Braun Strowman
Svend Karlsen
tons more

There’s also a shitload of recipes (a lot of them easy to make so you can finally stop eating the same shit all the time), random anecdotes about the eating habits of people listed in the book, and even some bodyweight workouts for when you can’t get to the gym. In short, fuck all of the badly written 20 page bullshit ebooks- this is a legitimate piece of art that will actually reflect the money you spent on it.

The research I’ve done here has actually changed the way I’ve been training recently, which is pretty fucking cool, as it always is when life imitates art… and it has bled into the start of a legit Stewroids book. I lack the appeal to turn this industry on its head, but I definitely intend to give it a fucking shot. We’ve all been ripped off far too many times.

And now, back to writing…

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

23 responses to “Teaser- 365 Days of Brutality: An Anti-Programming Manifesto”

Sascha

July 4, 2019

Hell yeah! Can’t wait and can’t express my excitement in words, so I won’t even try further.

Greetings from germany!
Ulfhednar

July 4, 2019

I will buy one. Fuck deadlines, release it when you’re content with your work.
Cara Brennan

July 4, 2019

I’m so fuckin excited to read this. I’m currrently doing a “powerlifting” continuing education cert to renew my CPT and it’s actual torture so far. I’ll need the palate cleanser.
Tom

July 4, 2019

Fuck yeah. How much are you selling this bad boy for??
Wes

July 4, 2019

A question was asked on reddit, “How much does your programming matter?” and I was downvoted for replying “it doesn’t”

(I know you hate reddit but I’ve met a couple pretty cool people on r/powerlifting)

I can’t wait for this book to come out!
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  July 4, 2019
  
  I’ve not spent much time on that subreddit, but think when I was I was downvoted into oblivion.
  
  They’re certainly not gonna like this book, haha.
  1. Mr Nobody
    
    July 5, 2019
    
    If ur program doesnt come from an excel to calculate your 80,654% of your 3 Rep Max with an RPE 8 it´s trash
2. Brooks Kubik
  
  July 11, 2019
  
  “A question was asked on reddit, “How much does your programming matter?” and I was downvoted for replying “it doesn’t””
  
  It does matter, you fucking cock sucking sheep, “ooh, ooh, Jamie the gay porn actor said it doesn’t matter so that MUST be right because i’m a fucking faggot”….
Tom

July 4, 2019

Fuck yeah. How much are you selling this bad boy for??
George

July 5, 2019

Will absolutely be buying the hard copy the day it comes out.
Rod

July 6, 2019

Hurry up and finish you can take my money Jamie.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  July 7, 2019
  
  I’m trying, haha. I swear on my life that this thing is worth the wait. Writing it is getting me fucking hyped, and I’m using shit I’ve never tried before, and shit I’d totally forgotten about.
Shawn

July 9, 2019

Can’t wait for this. I’ve bought all the previous books you’ve written and still hold them as some of the best books i’ve ever read on the iron game; and I’ve read them all….

I also read the book “The Silence” recently that you recommended a while back and enjoyed it.

Would like to see more books, movies and shows that you’ve watched lately as a future article.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  July 14, 2019
  
  Ah, cool man- that book is dope. The movie, not so much. I’ll definitely put out one of those articles soon, and I’ve got plans to make regular updates on what I’m reading when I build out a pay portion of the site.
Ryan

July 10, 2019

Can’t wait for this, Jamie!
Vlad Makeev

July 11, 2019

Sounds fucking cool.

Finish it and enjoy my money.
Gregory Spurgin

July 12, 2019

This sounds super fuckin badass. Any chance Jouko Ahola is gonna be in there?
Fghh

July 13, 2019

Queer cunt lewiz
1. steve sutton
  
  July 15, 2019
  
  Fuck off bigot.
steve sutton

July 14, 2019

Mr Rhoden says he approves.
steve sutton

July 14, 2019

Mr Rhoden says he approves.
Rant

July 16, 2019

Steroids.
Gregory

July 16, 2019

Any chance Jouko Ahola is gonna be in it?
Sounds fuckin badass