There’s a Bunch of Fucking Horseshit Floating Around…

Jamie Chaos

June 28, 2010

but some of it’s worse than the rest. For once, I’ll be concise and jump right into it.

Off topic, but I couldn’t find my pic with her, but this was the outfit. Fucking retarded.

Food.

It’s a pretty fucking important factor in training. Just how important is it? That’s a matter for some debate. A quick google search yielded this nugget, which seems to echo the Weider crowd’s opinion on the matter – “According to International Federation of Bodybuilders (IFBB) Professional Figure athlete Rachel Cammon, as much as 80 percent of extreme hypertrophy, as seen in bodybuilding competitions, can be attributed to the athlete’s diet.” Interesting. So, this genius, and many others in the physical culture community, believe that nutrition is 75-80% (depending on the source) of what will ultimately lead to speed, strength, and good body composition. That’s fucking absurd. You can have the most impeccable diet in history, but if you’re sitting on the fucking couch all day long, you’re still going to be weak and look like shit. It’s idiots like this fucking retard that get people quibbling over dietary intake and failing to apply the same assiduous attention to the gym, and they end up sucking at the end of the day. This just in- the guys who sat for the sculptures in ancient Greece and Rome didn’t have access to protein powders, NO Explode, or any of the other happy horseshit with which you see everyone hideously preoccupied these days. Instead, they had heavy shit to pick up repeatedly, which they did. Same goes for the Eastern European lifters of the last 50 years- Bulgarians got ripped to shreds smoking constantly and drinking like fish, and eating a traditional diet that’s 2x less thanhttp://www.abvg.net/Foods/ that of other EU members, which is still far less than us. Now, does that mean you should eat whatever the fuck you want and try to out-train your diet? Unless you can devote 8 hours a day to training, I wouldn’t recommend it. It does mean, however, that no matter what some douche tells you in an article on T-Nation or Bodybuilding.com, diet is not the most important factor in building muscle, gaining strength, and getting lean. You want to look like you lift, and be able to flip over small cars for a goof when you’re hammered? Then lift, and eat as cleanly as you can, when you can.

Remember that just because some marketing asshole says it’s good for you, doesn’t mean it is. Thus, skip the Balance Bar and eat just about anything else. I’d generally recommend beef jerky and some nuts, if you’re in a pinch, but if the choice is a hamburger or not eating for 6 hours, EAT THE FUCKING HAMBURGER. It’s far easier to burn off a couple of calories than it is to regain muscle you lose in an impromptu fast because the food choices don’t fit your metabolic type. You’re not the fucking Buddha, and this isn’t a fucking sit-in, so cast aside any notions you might have about asceticism in the face of shitty food and make sure you get 40-70g of protein every couple of hours.

Chicken is not the only fucking protein source out there. Pavel and I don’t agree on much, but we agree on this. I read a hilarious anecdote about him eating with a guy a few years ago, and the guy ordered chicken tacos, and Pavel got pissed. He glared at the guy and said “Eating chicken makes you weak.” Then he went on to tell the guy that whole eggs are good for two reasons- they’re excellent for helping you build muscle and strength and they keep chickens from being born. Try eating beef- it’s more nutrient dense, it tastes better, and it’s what Milo of Croton would have recommended.

Maybe the kettlebell’s just a weapon for use on chicken-lovers.

Whey is a waste product of the dairy industry, and they’ve marketed the fuck out of it. It’s not magical, and it’s not the best protein source. It’s not even fucking close. Leave that bullshit to the idiots at GNC, and save your money for a blended protein, rather than blowing it on triple-ultra-heat-denautured-hydrolyzed whey. I’ve been loving Gaspari’s Myofusion recently, as it’s an awesome blend and it tastes fucking awesome, but I’ve been a big fan of shit like Matrix 5.0 in the past. Just make sure it’s a blend, so you get a steady release of protein over time.

Leave the whey to Little Miss Muffet.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

35 responses to “There’s a Bunch of Fucking Horseshit Floating Around…”

JD

June 28, 2010

I work at GNC, and my boss gets pissed at me all the time because I sell people Syntha 6 instead of AMP Wheybolic Extreme 60.
Dray

June 28, 2010

Fuck yes, I needed to hear that shit. I'm poor as hell, so a lot of good food is hard to come by.
HEY GUYS AM I RANTING YET

June 28, 2010

Dick Che… rant rant rant

Dick Cheney's lesbian dau…. rant rant rant

I'm old and fa… rant rant rant

Hey C&P, you're… rant rant rant

This has been a scheduled announcement from your Daily Serving of the Same Old Shit Department.

You may now resume your normal operations.
Anonymous

June 28, 2010

i needed that i cant be fucking bothered eating balanced,eggs/cheese/red meat all the way
Rant

June 28, 2010

Nice article. Diet is overrated.
Anonymous

June 28, 2010

whey is awesome. don't believe this ad-revenue horseshit.
Anonymous

June 28, 2010

There is an article on wannabebig.com related intermittent fasting and it states "(l)et’s be clear: this reasoning carries with it zero scientific support. Presuming adequate protein, long-term research shows no loss in lean body mass even under strict fasting conditions, so long as calories are kept at a maintenance level. In fact, studies investigating fasting or intermittent fasting show a slight increase in metabolic rate.”

I would like to hear your thoughts on this statement and intermittent fasting in general.

Alec
Rant

June 28, 2010

C&P,

What role do drugs play? From you own exprience of course.
Manveet

June 28, 2010

Intermittent fasting won't kill guys.

If you don't eat for 6 hours your body won't burn up all your muscle.

http://leangains.blogspot.com/

Although I agree that people fuss over their diets way too much. Is it really that hard to just eat whole, unprocessed foods? Apparently.
Jamie Lewis

June 28, 2010

Hahaha. Yeah, I'm on Gaspari's payroll, because my opinions are ultra-marketable. If supplement companies were going to pay me to hawk products, they'd pay me to hawk whey- it's cheap as fuck to produce, and their margin's are insane. Since everyone on the planet makes whey, taht'd be the thing to market, rather than low-priced proprietary protein blends. Do you guys think this shit through, or do you simply type random bullshit without even giving it a modicum of thought.

Rant's bipolar. Somehow, this does not come as a shock.

As for the IF, I'm going to post on that soon, actually.
Josh

June 29, 2010

Sweet. I'm looking forward to the post on IF too.
Six

June 29, 2010

Good article Jamie. Whey is crap and soy is plant semen. I eat chicken but I also eat massive amounts of lean beef. Remember that old (old!) saying? Eat beef to build beef.
Michael Q

June 29, 2010

Good article. What specifically is wrong with whey, is it the processing? I get it from a wholesaler cheap. I chug down 2L of milk a day with protein powder added.
Isaac Ohman

June 29, 2010

Most whey proteins use soy lecithin as an emulsifying agent. Not sure if this really is the same as using pure soy as the protein source, but I doubt it's good.
Rant

June 29, 2010

So instead of addressing the role drugs play in your results, you call me bipolar. Clever. You are a prime example of intellectual dishonesty. How many posts have you written about lifting, dieting… even shoes for fuck's sake. Do you seriously think that your shoes play a bigger role in your current physique than your steroids?

To be sure, you wrote one post explaining away the naysayers who attribute too much of your ability to steroids. And in a triumph of reasoning, you conclude "you might as well take steroids if everyone is going to accuse you of doing it anyway." Why don't you just be honest? How is it that you regularly post on masturbating without even acknowledging your transparent steroid use? Why don't you acknowledge that steroids have had at least some role in your current ability and give people tips on where to inject the needle, how much to take, where to get it, what kind you use, etc., etc., etc.

You cannot truly believe that you'd have the same strength as you would without steroids. Admit it. And where would you be without steroids? 90%? 80%? 70%? Surely not 100%, or else, you wouldn't bother taking them. So what is it?
Jamie Lewis

June 29, 2010

Whey's not bad, necessarily- it's just not as good as the supplement companies would have you believe.
Anonymous

June 29, 2010

Well, ever since the world cup started I have put a hold to all dieting restrictions and have been boozing 4 or 5 times a week and eating whatever i feel like, and i have tried to counteract that with going to the gym more and working out harder than before.

The result: 5 kgs more on the scale in 3 weeks, and its definitely not all muscle, hahaha, i am noticing my belt getting a little bit tighter…but i have made some significant gains on some lifts as well, particularly with everything leg-related.

Anyways, what I am trying to get at is this: Diet is important, one cannot train away constant drinking and eating shitty foods. But, I don`t give a shit, because the glorious german team completely anihilated the english in brutal, violent ass-raping of the bloodiest kind and is now well on the way to taking out Maradona, the little fucker, and then take the World Cup to where it rightfully belongs: DEUTSCHLAND!!!

Alex 🙂
Jamie Lewis

June 29, 2010

Now if your mancrush Federer could only beat that pesky Spaniard, you guys would rule the gayest sports altogether! W00t!
JD

June 29, 2010

The fact that sports like rugby exist at all makes me completely unable to watch soccer. Bunch of fucking drama queens.
Dracoy

June 29, 2010

Yo Rant,

Let me drill some facts into ur dumb fucking h8r head:

1. The Asian Chaos and Pain (me) has never juiced.
2. Chaos and Pain (Jamie) has never juiced.
3. U probably took steroids like a chump, and now ur wanting 2 psychologically project ur self-hatred onto us. Sound familiar? It should, cause that's the same dumb h8r logic that u tried to throw our way.
4. If u have enough balls 2 post the address to ur h8r institute, I will drive over and challenge u to any lifting contest of your chosing.

Dracoy
HE HATE ME

June 29, 2010

dracoy what the fuck am i reading
JD

June 30, 2010

azn cnp ftw

no h8r
Jewish Meshuggenah Pain

June 30, 2010

My new goal in life is to be so awesome that some asian guy will claim to be a racial doppelganger of myself.
Dray

June 30, 2010

I now love this blog. It's official. The comments just take the cake.

I could stop reading the posts themselves and just scroll through these fucking comments.

Jewish Meshuggenah Pain? FUCK YES.
Anonymous

June 30, 2010

Dracoy,

Get Jamie's dick out of your mouth. God damn, the amount you fellate him is sickening. Instead, I recommend you focus your efforts on learning how to spell "You". It's not "U".
The Verb

June 30, 2010

A wise man once said:

Internet arguments are like the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded.

Just go and lift some weights allready ffs.
DRACOY’S VOICE MAIL 4 REAL

June 30, 2010

Hey anonymous, Dracoy isn't here right now. Please leave a message at the beep, h8r.
Anonymous

June 30, 2010

Germany beat Argentina?

No fucking chance.

AUSTRALIA TO WIN WORLD CUP!
JD

June 30, 2010

"Please leave a message at the beep, h8r."

hahahahahaha
Jewish Messhugenah Pain

June 30, 2010

Yo, this is the JEWISH chaos and pain.

Enough with the vekakte shmei drei about Jamie's shmekeleh in your pisk. I'm goin MESHUGGENAH!!!!

Besides, his shmekeleh is probably kosher.

PS: I'm the Jewish chaos and pain.
Anonymous

June 30, 2010

Hat's off to the Jewish Chaos and Pain, that was funny.
Dracoy offering to fight Rant was pretty good, too. Of course Rant is too much of a pussy to post videos, pictures, allow comments, or display what part of the country he is hiding. Then again, I see that sad looking face at his "Institute" (are you kidding?) and I don't blame him. Of course, it's all to be blamed on kettle-bells.
Anonymous

June 30, 2010

Deer meat is even better than beef…you get to use a gun (which raises your test levels), kill Bambi (which probably raises your test levels even more) and eat it. Plus it's free range, hormone free, organic non-soy protein.
Jamie Lewis

June 30, 2010

The only game meat I'd avoid eating would be bear. Apparently, that shit is chock-full of parasites.
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