My Favorite Foods- Only because You Goofballs Requested This

Jamie Chaos

April 18, 2010

After this one, I’m taking a break from these inane blogs. This question is nearly as ridiculous as addressing why I wear Nike Frees, but I’m going to blog it simply to jump on my soapbox.

My diet is not magical- it works for me because I’ve determined, through a shitload of trial and error, what works for me, and because it suits my personal taste. As such, I’ll address diet foods that have worked for me in the past, and why, and shit that I eat when I’m having semi-free days with my cheat windows. If you follow my diet, you will likely fail miserably, for a variety of reasons. This is why I find this particular entry to be the height of absurdity.

Why Won’t My Diet Work For You?

I’ve been dieting, fairly strictly, for the better part of a decade. My body is trained to avoid lipogenesis and to remain in a state of lipolysis. This affords me the ability to tinker with my diet, and get away with far more metabolic trickery and dietary indiscretions than most, if not all of you. There’s a guy in particular who will remain nameless but who’s been emailing me for a couple of years who’s never really changed in his appearance or strength levels, in spite of constantly mining me for training and diet advice. He does this with at least one other prominant strength athlete of whom I know, and likely more. Why, then, does he fail? Likely because he’s not stuck to any of the advice we’ve given him, and gives up long before he should on any given program or diet. As such, his body never adjusts, he doesn’t lower his bodyfat setpoint, and none of his metabolism changes significantly enough to have lasting effects.
I know how to manipulate my body due to the fact that I’ve read voraciously on the subject, and train hard enough to overcome any dietary missteps.
I understand my metabolic type, and utilize it to my advantage.
You likely do not share my taste for spicy foods, which raise your metabolism significantly. I’ve said before that bland food makes a bland person, but it also makes a fat person.

That stated, on to the next part of the blog.

Shit on Which I Diet or have Dieted
Steamed Chicken and Broccoli- My first staple diet food was the traditional steamed chicken (`10oz) and broccoli (2 cups) with white rice (1.5-2 cups, cooked) bodybuilder diet. I drenched the entire thing in shitloads of Thai Sriracha sauce, and ate it three or four times a day, along with three or more whey protein shakes. This took me from 140 to 160-165 lbs between 1997 and 2000, during which time I maintained a basically steady bodyfat setpoint that I’d estimate to be around 10% bodyfat. That’s the fattest I’ve been in my adult life, having gone from collegiate wrestling right into that bodybuilding diet. If I still lived in Tucson, I’d likely still be eating at Oriental Express on University, where I ate that meal thrice daily, because that place ruled and that meal was delicious. Yeah, I’m plugging that place, because Thui and An are awesome, and I ate there so often they had me over to their house a couple of times for barbecues. Eat there if you get the chance, and tell them I said hi. The result of this diet was that I gained a shitload of muscle over the 5 years or so when I ate there regularly, though I didn’t lose much, if any, fat. Had I not eaten the rice, I would have been gold, but that shit tastes amazing with the sriracha on it, so it was hard to pass up.

No, I’m not oiled up- that’s sweat. China was fucking hot. Me in 1998.

Chicken Soup- While in Vienna, I saw the first veins pop out on my abs eating virutally nothing but chicken soup and chicken kebaps. I’d make 2.5 lbs of chicken breasts in broth with mixed veggies, typically brocolli, cauliflower, and carrots, every day. I added a ton of minced garlic and cayanne to this, and my roommates fucking hated me for it, because the apartment always smelled like my soup. I didn’t care, because I fucking looked amazing.

Climbing in Vienna, 170ish and lean.

Chili- For about a year after returning from Vienna, I tried to make chili into the ultimate superfood. I experimented with adding and subtracting everything from bean mixes to cucumber to organ meats, and everything in between. I had fairly good results with this, but didn’t get quite as lean as I’d have liked. I blame the beans, though that’s probably not the real reason.

Not quite as lean as I might’ve liked, obviously. At least this isn’t flexed, though, haha.

Turkey Meatballs- I got insanely lean eating turkey meatballs around the clock. The type I was eating is only available in the northeast at Acme, for some reason, and I’ve forgotten the manufacturer, but they were ultra-lean, contained a shitload of fennel, which I love, and low carb. They were insanely good, and I’m fairly bitter I can’t get them down here. Trader Joes also has some insanely good turkey meatballs, and it was making these things a staple of my diet that first brought our veins on my abs at a bodyweight over 175.

My Jon Pall Sigmasson imitation. First time I had veins on my abs.

Chicken wings- I’ve already covered these in a previous blog.

93/7 Lean ground beef and low carb pizzas- These are the mainstays of my current diet, and I rotate them every other day. It seems to be working like a fucking charm, because I’m steadily leaning out and gaining muscle.

The pizzas. I make them using Mission Carb Balance Tortillas, a low carb pizza sauce, Kraft Fat-free mozzarella, and Publix Hot Italian Chicken sausage, as well as a shitload of garlic powder, black pepper, red pepper, garlic, and italian seasoning. No, I don’t put veggies on my pizza, because I don’t like them- and before you ask, there’s no overriding nutritional reason. On the days I eat these, I typically eat three of them, along with two Ultramet shakes and two whey protein shakes (one of which I drink while pissing in the middle of the night. That gives me a macro profile of:

48.5g fat

209g carbs

371.5g protein

2762.5 calories

79g fiber

110g adjusted carbs

The other days, I generally eat between 2 and 4 lbs of ground beef, either in burger patties with brown gravy w/ peppercorns, or with taco seasoning, giving me somewhere between 72g fat and 184g protein, and 144g fat and 368g protein before any shakes. Frankly, I drain the shit out of the fat in my beef, so I think it comes out considerably under that number, but I’ve got no hard numbers other than the ones I’ve provided.

What I eat off diet:
Generally, I keep it pretty low fat and moderate carbs, eating a lot of grilled chicken sandwiches and the like.

This isn’t fucking brain surgery, people- it’s trial and error and understanding your body, and the cessation of any belief that following anyone else’s diet exactly will give you the same results it gave them. It won’t. Frankly, I eat food so spicy it would likely kill the fucking lot of you, so I’m not posting any recipes, as I don’t want your families suing me because you lack the intestinal fortitude to emulate my diet precisely, haha.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

36 responses to “My Favorite Foods- Only because You Goofballs Requested This”

Anonymous

April 18, 2010

lipolysis and lipogenesis need to be switched around in the first bullet pointed paragraph
Jolly Roger

April 18, 2010

Unless there's some magic dieting trickery we're not thinking of that allows him to stay lean while being predisposed to lipogenesis. Maybe he's eating anti-matter.
Zacharus Maximus

April 18, 2010

You're fuckin insane, man. Fuckin insane.

That said, I've been following C+P routine for a month now. My diet isn't anywhere near as regimented as you make yours seem to be but I'm sure I get enough protein since I've gained 5 lbs on this program of lean muscle in the last month. Squat partials are fuckin awesome.

Hoping to be somewhere close to as strong as you in a few years…
Anonymous

April 18, 2010

But don't ask him about his shoes. Seems to freak him out.
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

So you've ditched the wings for the pizza/beef rotation? Or do you still eat wings?

What things do you look for when deciding on what to tweak in your diet?
Brian

April 19, 2010

Wish we had low carb wraps here.
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

"This question is nearly as ridiculous as addressing why I wear Nike Frees"
Jamie, you brought it up: "To be addressed later this week: Shit I like to eat on and off diet"
"Inane" might be your Ipod play list, or your self published jerk off schedule.
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

"thrice daily"
Dray

April 19, 2010

Did it occur that he might have planned this post because people were requesting it?

Also, I fucking love spicy food. I drenched my eggs this morning in sriracha sauce and it was fucking DELICIOUS. Also, I should get this tortilla soup recipe to post on the boards for carb-ups. It's basically spicy chicken soup with an asston of cheese and tortilla strips. It's better than it sounds, i.e. it's actually fucking delicious.

Also, thrice daily for lief lolol
Jamie Lewis

April 19, 2010

Hahaha. Multiple people requested it, actually.

I've pretty much abandoned the wings, although I'm thinking about going back on them, simply because I want to try to lean out a little more quickly, and because I want to eat some beef ribs while watching the season premiere of Deadliest Warrior tomorrow, haha.

And it's a MINIMUM of thrice daily, my friends.
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

Jaime, the Nike post was good. I would have figured that the concept of the shoe was not as good as the reality. Next time I shop for shoes, I'll check them out.
As for your ever evolving diet, it's fascinating. I think we all appreciate your explanations.
Part of the problem, is because it changes all the time, it's hard to define, if you are on the outside looking in, trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.
If we didn't like the blog, we wouldn't be here!
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

Keep drinking that h8rade, h8rs. And keep h8ing how I keep saying h8.
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

"oh, you owned me! totally, and without effort!"
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

On a related topic, which food stunted your vertical growth? Was it the turkey meatballs, huh? WAS IT THOSE GODDAMN TURKEY MEATBALLS???
Jamie Lewis

April 19, 2010

Hahah. It's really just a matter of experimentation, and due to the fact that my workouts are ever-evolving, my diet does as well. Additionally, I get sick of eating the same thing everyday, so it's nice to switch it up.

I was a bit over the top in my dislike for these types of blogs because I don't want you guys to simply ape what I'm doing- I want you thinking about why you're doing what you're doing, and do what works for you.
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

Right now, my reasons for what I eat are that it's easy to prepare and take with me. And not terribly expensive.

I eat 6 eggs at the house, while I prepare the 3 pounds of ground beef that I eat over the course of the day. Before bed, I eat a pound of cottage cheese. I also eat a can of tuna and some nuts at random times, depending on when I lift.
Anonymous

April 19, 2010

I was wondering your opinion on the whole carb/anabolism factor. There seems to be no real consensus on the consumption of carbs and muscle gain other than the whole glycogen/leptin replenishment. Are carb-up days essential or is it physiologically possible to build muscle on a keto or paleo diet, is it all just based on calorie excess?
Jamie Lewis

April 19, 2010

I think that the refeeds are essential, but that carbs in particular are not. I think the refeeds are essential for mental health and for spurring one's metabolism.
glenn pendlay

April 20, 2010

CNP,

Just saw this site for the first time last night, ended up staying up late reading most of your old blogs. I saw you had a picture of my old gym in an old entry, glad you liked the platforms and bumper plates!

I did want to comment on your "Pendlay row" coments though. I dont think you understand the exercise, which is not unusual because most of the people describing it on the internet dont describe it right. It is not a strict exercise. It is a fast, explosive movement, using pretty much any way possible to get the bar from the ground up to your stomach…. Think of it like a powerclean but done where your back stays parallel, lol.

Seems you take exception to the fact that you cant "cheat" by standing upright. Think about this, in order to say you benched, say, 400lbs, you have to touch the bar to your chest and press it back to arms length. There are lots of things you can do to cheat, bounce the bar off your chest, stick your ass in the air, etc, but if you get the weight from your chest to arms length, most would still call it a bench press. I know I would. But if I see a guy only take the bar halfway down, stop say 10 inches from his chest, then get up and say that he benched the weight, im gonna call bullshit. Its a lockout, or a half bench, or something, but its not a legit bench press, as I am sure you would agree. Same with a squat. I saw you doing partials or lockouts with 900+ lbs. Yet you dont say you can squat 900lbs. Cause most people with half a brain know that you have to go down to parallel to legitimately say that you squatted a weight.

So, the way this row is defined is not to be some prissy "form over weight" prick. Its to impose some form of standard as to what exercise you are doing. The parallel, or "pendlay" row is as different from the rows you do as deadlifts are to squats or bench presses are to dips. Simply two completely different lifts that happen to work some of the same muscles. Not all, but some.

I have no problem with how you row. Hell i have done them that way myself. But the "pendlay" row is simply a different exercise altogether, not "strict" version.

Also, kudos on all the wings. We have a grill at the gym, and after morning workout, the guys usually throw a while bunch of meat on the grill so that we are ready to stuff ourselves with wings, ribs, steak, pork shoulder, etc, around noon, chill for a bit, and be ready for afternoon workout at 1:30pm. I prefer all meat for this between traiing sessions meal. No carbs, no veggies, no fruit. Just at least a pound, preferrably closer to two pounds of meat per lifter. These guys are training 12 times per week with maximal weights, and eating this way definately does help the recovery.
Dracoy

April 20, 2010

Yo I'm sick and tired of everyone h8ing on Jamie because hes short. In most Asian countries, Jamie would be normal height. For instance, when I visit my family in China, my grandmother is all "Dracoy, you so tall and strong!" Like Jamie, I'm 5'7.5". So if your calling him short, your basically calling my grandmother a liar.

Also, when I go out, I can get ANY girl (as long as she's into Asian dudes). It doesn't matter how tall she is. I'm sure Jamie can back me up on this one. I doubt he ever rolls up to the club and girls h8 on him for being short.

Fucking h8er nonsense. That's all it is.

Dracoy
Anonymous

April 20, 2010

I personally used to go out with Jamie and he did get quite a bit of attention … the only girls that didn't pay attention were the bitches … and that's mainly because he was insulting them 🙂
Jamie Lewis

April 20, 2010

Glenn- Awesome that you pooped in, man! It's actually the Rippetoe-endorsed version of your row with which I take issue. I'd read an interview with you on bb.com, I think, wherein you described the actual row, and in one of my blogs I said you'd probably like to kill Rippetoe for fucking up your exercise, haha.

I'll add the grill to the list of awesome things that happen at good gyms, in addition to dogs.
glenn pendlay

April 20, 2010

Sometimes I would like to kill Rippetoe, lol, but thats not the main reason. I am sure he would like to kill me too though.

I am not sure how you can have 2-3 workouts a day at a gym and not have a grill. no one wants to eat shit all day, and nothing brightens up a workout like the smell of meat roasting, and you knowing that as soon as you get done, you get to go out and eat it. Also one thing about the proper use of a grill by MEN at a gym. there are no plates. You do not use them unless you have a vagina. 5 or 6 guys stand around the grill each with a knife and fork, and you cut off a piece of meat, and eat it, and you all take turns. You do this until the meat is all gone or until you are stuffed full and cant eat anymore. This is proper use of a grill at a gym. You also do not wash the knives or forks. You simply put them in the fridge when you are done eating, then use them again the next day.

Dogs do make a gym. We have a big german shephard named Hector that lives at our gym. Good dog. I used to bring Mack (my 105lb red pitbull) to the gym quite a bit also, but he and Hector took a dislike to each other, so that doesnt happen anymore. But Mack used to hang out at my old place, the one you have a picture of on one of your old blog posts.

The only problem with Mack is that although he is a sweet dog, anyone without balls is scared of him. That, obviously, includes a lot of people. A 105lb pit that is lean enough to see the striations in his ass when he walks tends to get that kind of reaction I guess.

Id like to see you try a "pendlay" row day. Man the fuck up and do them for an hour, lol. Slam that bar into your upper abs each rep as hard as you fucking can, yank the shit out of it coming off the floor, etc. Do anything you can to get that bar from the floor to your body each rep, and make sure to drop each rep back to the floor and make a lot of noise. Arch the fuck out of your back at the top of the movement, look at the ceiling at the top if you can…. just dont raise yo ur back above parallel to the floor, or not much above at least.

Try it and see what you think.
Anonymous

April 20, 2010

M. Rippetoe,
Normally I wouldn't sully my good name by wading down here in the dookie water with you know nothing faggots, but Justin – my loyal pupil and servant – pointed me to the ridiculous nonsense you ladies are peddling as strength advice.

First, let me say that this diet advice is garbage. If you want to add strength, you drink a gallon of milk a day. I can't stress that enough. I even have an acronym for it…it's GOMAD. Don't listen to this snot nose little turd ladies. I knew Doug Young. Doug Young was a behemoth of man, not some 5'6 shrimp who can move weight 6 inches and claims to be strong. Doug Young was life sized, not doll sized, ergo his lifts actually mean something. Doug Young drank milk, I drink milk, Michael Jordan did an advertising campaign for milk…milk you idiots. It's the secret to life, and by supposition, the secret to athletic success, strength gains, and lady pleasin'. If you aren't interested in any of those things, don't drink milk. I'm almost twice Jamie's age and I still toss a firm meat steak down my woman's baby hole at least 3 times a week, how's about that for a milk success story. Drink it, or you are gay.

I don't have the time nor the energy to sufficiently laugh hard enough at the other idiocy spewed on this blog. Though I would like to point out Jamie's utter hypocrisy in constantly calling me out, though his personal label to similar treatment is "dick riding." If we are to believe Jamie's version, then I've been fucking him in his shit squeezer since the beginning of this little internet comedy of errors.

Yeah I may be fat, but did I mention I knew Doug Young? GOMAD is more powerful than Jesus riding a Kraken holding an Apache helicopter in each hand and wearing the flesh of two Barbara Streisand clones for sandals.

Suck it faggots.
glennpendlay

April 20, 2010

Anonymous,

You are not Rip. Rip is a dick, as he will readily admit. But he is a clever dick, and, judging from your post, you are not clever.

also, Meat>Milk. Its a fact, look it up, faggot.

glenn
Jamie Lewis

April 20, 2010

Hahahaha. You're good people, Glenn. I'll give your method a try- fuck knows, I'm not above gripping and ripping on bent rows. I'll give the rows a shot tonight, as I mentally prepare for my 1 man "Deadliest Warrior season premier party" which is going to consist of me wearing a viking helmet and eating 5 lbs of beef ribs while watching that show, haha.

Steve Pulcinella brings his bigass American Bulldog into Iron Sport a lot… which I'm sure doesn't help business one bit. People are shit scared of Spud's pit, and that dog is the biggest pussy on the planet, haha. I can only imagine that people literally crap their pants when they see your dog.
HE HATE ME

April 20, 2010

rippetoe is h8in'

also GOMAD GO CRAZY WHO'S THAT DRIVING PATRICK SWAYZE
glennpendlay

April 20, 2010

Jamie,

Its a sin to wear a viking helmet unless you have drank mead out of your own horn that you have made yourself. I hope you are not committing that sin. I have several drinking horns, id gladly give you one, but then you wouldnt have to make it yourself. Plus you have to know how to mak
e mead, which isnt that hard.

And, Mack is not a pussy. He has killed 3 other dogs since I have had him. Last one was a Chow. He doesnt start fights, but he finishes them. That Chow was coming out of an alley when I was walking Mack, barking and growling at us, just a loose mean dog. He got close and Mack shut him down. Bit him once on the head, and 5 seconds later the chow was motionless. bone was sticking up out of his eye socket. Mack bit hm on top the head and broke s omething in his skull i guess.

Thing is, my cat will sit on the couch and hiss and swipe his paw at Mack, draw blood from his face, and Mack will just whine, no aggression whatsoever. My daughter can pull his gums till he bleeds, no aggression. My son literally rides him. and wrestles him. no aggression. but let a dude or a strange dog act wrong in public, and mack is all business. and he will fuck you up. That being said, i always wanted an American Bulldog. couldnt afford one though. I got Mack for free, a huge pit was the closest I could come to an AB. But he is golden, absolutely golden. Great dog.

And, deadliest warriors is fucked up. Everyone knows the Vikings are the best, why do they have to have a show trying to figure that shit out??? just rent "the 13th warrior" and figure that stuff out already.

And, just watched a couple of your videos. Jesus, squat the fuck down on your front squats, why dont you???? I mean, back squats to parallel are cool… but, fucking front squats 3" above parallel? what is that? Come on man.
Anonymous

April 21, 2010

i'm saving deadliest warrior for my cheat meal this weekend

the asian guy- shut the fuck up. no one wants you to back jamie up/suck his dick all the time. its the internet, calm the fuck down
Jamie Lewis

April 21, 2010

Glenn-

That's fucking awesome about the dog- the way a dog is supposed to be.

13th Warrior is one of my favorite movies. Best line was the "Grow stronger" one, haha. Awesome.

I should be eating auroch as well, but it's gone the way of mead, haha. Actually, aurochs would probably be awesome… I can't say the same for mead, since I'm not a fan of wine. Additionally, today's a keto day, haha.

Dracoy- girls hate on me for a wide variety of reasons, but I doubt being short is one of them. Likely, it's my propensity to call them out for being painfully stupid that engenders the most hate, haha.
Jamie Lewis

April 21, 2010

Oh, and the depth in my latest pr video is good… you shall see this week.
Anonymous

April 21, 2010

fuck yes. get that fucking video up immediately
Jamie Lewis

April 21, 2010

Pendlay rows made my traps sore as shit, which I think I chalk up to the fact that my traps are so overdeveloped that I now use them on everything.
Anonymous

April 27, 2010

When is the Chicken Wing cooking/eating contest? Oh, I use Cayenne pepper for color.
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