Plague of Strength

Because they’re always stuffed!

So, after dodging the majority of the assorted plagues that have been scampering about, Jamie and I BOTH got laid out by some sort of ick. I’m sure the fact that both of us are working like a thousand hours a week isn’t helping our immune systems. So, today is the recipe day of soups. Okay, a soup and bone broth.

I will get back to you guys on the Lift of the Week and the other recipes when we are no longer living in mortal terror of sneezing too hard.

Bone Broth

Bone Broth. The single easiest and most difficult thing to make outside of omelettes. Ok, not really. Bone broth is extremely easy to make. This is just my version of it, which is based off Idna Gartner’s broth recipe. Jamie and I keep a ziplock bag in the freezer for bones. Yes, that includes the ones in the food we eat (ie spare ribs) and bones I have de-boned out of assorted pieces of meat. I honestly don’t recommend something like ox tails because it is a waste of meat, and they are super expensive now a days. In addition to a bone bag, I keep a scraps bag for onion tops, carrot ends, celery tops and centers, and parsley that has wilted. That’s generally what I use in my bone broth, but I know that is a bit weird, so I tried to give you approximates in non-“recycled” veggies. If this sounds familiar, it’s because it’s exactly the same tried-and-true, passed-down-through-the-ages method McCallum used and Jamie reprinted in “Dieting and Training on a Slave Budget.”

• 2-3 lbs of assorted bones (should be enough to cover the bottom of a large roasting pan)
• 2 medium Onions, halved
• The tops of a bunch of Carrots, a couple handfuls of baby carrots, or 3 carrots broken in half
• The top 3 inches of a Celery bunch, or the top and center trimmings, leaves especially
• 5 cloves of garlic
• 2 dried red chili peppers (more or less to taste)
• 2 tbsp of whole peppercorns
• 3 tbsp of crystal salt (I love Celtic Sea Salt)
• 1 bunch of Parsley, plus whatever herbs you like
• 1/2 lemon rind
• 4 cups water (for pan after roasting)
• Water to fill crock pot

Preheat the oven to 450. Arrange the bones on the bottom of a roasting pan, and then spread the rest of the ingredients (aside from the water) on top of the bones. Put the pan in the oven for 30-45 minutes, occasionally mixing the ingredients around.

When the bones are golden brown and fragrant (yes, you will be able to smell them), empty the contents of the roasting pan into your crock pot. Put the roasting pan on the stove, crank the burners to high, and when the pan is hot, use the 4 cups of water to deglaze the pan. Pour the pan water into the crockpot and then add water pretty much to the top.

Set it and forget it, on high for like 8 hours. When it is done, strain out all the stuff, leaving the broth.

Emergency Chicken Soup

As I mentioned, BOTH Jamie and I have ended up with some kind of stomach ick/head cold plague, that is fucking MISERABLE. I honestly am shocked that we haven’t ended up “divorced” simply for the fact that we have a ONE BATHROOM HOUSE! Yeah. You don’t know tense hostage negotiations until you have two people desperately needing to use one bathroom. You start apologizing for shit you did in DREAMS and promising your subconscious will never go there again… if they would just get out of the fucking bathroom! **

** may have been embellished slightly for dramatic license

Anyhow, while Jamie’s plague (which looking back is more of a super fucking miserable head cold that makes you hella-queasy and kills your desire to eat) was in full effect and he was praying for death on the couch and occasionally suffering from an anal explosion of mucous, mine was just starting to ramp up. I am really good at soldiering through stuff from dealing with the auto-immune disorders, but within hours I had a thousand yard stare and the reaction time of a corpse. Before my body completely gave out, I trotted over to Target and got the makings of Chicken Soup. Why? Because I am apparently an idiot when sick and decided Campbell’s wasn’t good enough.

The thing with this soup is, you need a pressure cooker for it to work. We have a Ninja Foodie so it wasn’t a problem, since it does everything except vacuum the living room.

• 2 lbs boneless chicken thigh (or de-bone your own which is not recommended if you are sick)
• 1 box mini farfalle
• 1 steam in bag mixed veggies
• 3 Quarts Chicken broth
• 1 bag Turkey meatballs
• Garlic Powder/salt/pepper/Thyme to taste

Chop up the boneless chicken thighs, season them with garlic, salt, pepper & thyme and put them into the Foodie on saute. Get them kind of golden, and then put in half the chicken broth. Set the pressure cooker to high, for 20 min.

While you are waiting for the pressure cooker to do its thing:

1. Cook the pasta per the directions on the box
2. Microwave the Steam in Bag veggies
3. Microwave the meatballs. No… seriously. Microwave them if you feel like crap. Why? Because then you won’t do what I did and ruin half a bag of them by blanking out and burning the fuck out of them.

Put everything into a bowl.

As soon as the timer goes off, safely de-pressurize the Foodie, and add the broth to the soup fixings.

Fall face first into the bowl, and enjoy the chicken-y goodness. Then take some NyQuil and go pass out.

Cheap, Fast and Easy

You can use the bone broth in the chicken soup if you have some kicking around (I unfortunately did not, but that’s what John McCallum suggested). If you are going Keto you can always get rid of the noodles and sprinkle in hemp seeds or something of the sort, and either leave out the veggies or change them for something more Keto.

As for the bones with the bone broth… Seriously, don’t over think them. I have used everything from lamb bones to the bones from a pork shoulder I butchered to a chicken carcass. As long as they are boiled, they will all make really good bone broth. Hell, you can go without roasting everything, I just prefer the taste and color of the broth I get when its roasted verses not.

But to quote a bunch of my friends… “Do you, boo!”

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