Anyone who’s read Issuance of Insanity 2 has likely read this, but I’m slammed getting the company together and finishing my diet book, so I figured I might as well use this as an excuse to post pics of one of the hottest women ever to walk the Earth- Dana Linn Bailey.  Every chick in powerlifting under 130 lbs should thank every god in every heaven that Dana Linn Bailey sticks to physique competitions, because this broad is beyond brutal under the weights. If you doubt me, consider this- she benches 90 lb dumbbells for reps, knows the words to Blood for Blood’s song “Maldito” (which is fucking awesome if you’ve not heard it), has the most insane set of abs on Earth, benches half her bodyweight for 128 reps, 220 for a triple at 128, front squats 135 for 7, back squats 135 for multiple sets of 20, and is so hot that if you looked right at her you’d go blind and insane. Making matters worse is the fact that she and her punk rock star / DJ / artist / jacked motherfucker husband both seem cool as shit, so we’re all pretty well fucked if anyone ever draws a direct comparison. That aside, she trains with her husband and more like a guy than what you’d typically see in a female lifter, and busts her ass in the gym.

For those naysayers who feel like that’s not enough of a baddest motherfuckers resume, consider the following:

  • she only started lifting 7 years ago, and is hitting numbers that half of the guys on Reddit can’t at considerably less bodyweight.
  • she won her first figure competition with less than a year of training under her belt.
  • she’s the first IFBB pro physique competitor ever.
  • she’s so goddamned hot she’s been credited with killing more penguins with global warming than Styrofoam and Freon combined.
  • she and her husband hold a Guinness Book Of World Records record for most duck and snarly faces by a couple, ever.
  • she once trained with Tim Lambesis and escaped without a death warrant.
  • all she does is work, hustle, and kill. 

… and you thought I was kidding about the duck and snarly faces.

Her workouts are long as all hell, apparently so she doesn’t have to do cardio to stay ridiculously lean. All upper body exercises are done for 4 sets of 6-15 reps and all lower body are done for 4 sets of 10-15 or 15-20 reps, as her legs are already pretty big and awesome from playing soccer through college (she played for West Chester University).

Monday
Incline Bench
Dumbbell Flat Bench
Pec Deck supersetted with Pushups
Incline Cable Flies
Decline Cable Flies


Tuesday
Wide Grip Pullups
T-Bar Row
Behind The Neck Lat Pulldowns
Seated Row
Pullups or Pulldowns
High Row supersetted with Straight Arm Pulldowns

Wednesday
Squats
Hack Squats (close stance)
Leg Extensions
Step Ups
Calf Raises


Thursday
Off


Friday
Seated Dumbbell Overhead Press
Lateral Raises supersetted with Reverse Dumbbell Flies
Front Raises supersetted with Overhead Press
Cable Lateral Raises
Rear Delt Spreader (on seated cable row)

Saturday
Sumo Squats supersetted with Adductor Machine
Lying Leg Curls
Dumbbell Stiff Leg Deads supersetted with Standing Leg Curls
Calf Raise

Sunday
Weighted Dips
Close Grip Bench Press
Straight Bar Curls
Reverse Cable Extensions
Cable Curls

As to how she stays lean, it’s pretty much a combination of brutal training and more genetic gifts than half of the X-Men combined.  As I mentioned, DLB despises doing cardio and figures it’s a complete waste of time that would be better spent lifting, and on top of that barely even seems to diet:

“I am not a very strict dieter. I do not count carbs, I do not weigh anything, I do not record anything…I just eat! I try to eat somewhat-clean for the most part. My sources of protein come mostly from egg whites, turkey, fish, steak, and some chicken. Most of my carbohydrates generally come from oatmeal, rice and sweet potatoes. But I do not like bland boring meals, I like eating like a normal person. I just make healthier choices for the ingredients. Example, if I’m hungry for spaghetti, I make nice wheat pasta and load it with tons of lean ground turkey instead of beef. Simple things like that keep me happy” (Cut and Jacked)

For those of you out there not planning on auditioning for the Averngers sequel with the selling point of having enough superpowers to get by without CGI, I can tell you from experience that this sort of a regime does not work for everyone.  That sort of a diet kept my abs in hiding like their name was Timur Bekmambetov for the majority of my training life, but the shit is definitely working for DLB.  If nothing else, you might want to take away from DLB’s routine that if you break your ass in the gym for 9 hours a week, you can one day be as strong as a 128 lb chick. If you’re a chick and a powerlifter, pray this broad never jumps the line into our sport, or even the unstoppable juggernaut Jennifer Thompson is in serious fucking trouble.

Sources:
Cut and Jacked Interview: Dana Linn Bailey. Cut And Jacked. 17 Feb 2011. http://www.cutandjacked.com/Interview/with-Dana-Linn-Bailey
Dana Linn Bailey Routine. Cut and Jacked.  PDF. http://www.cutandjacked.com/Interview/with-Dana-Linn-Bailey
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