Plague of Strength

Chaos and Bang Your Earballs #15 (Allegedly)

Jamie Chaos

September 3, 2012

Paul and I finally got around to posting another installment. I’ve been sort of cloistered in an effort to finally finish the ebook, which should go on sale this evening. In any event, we cover:

Paul’s grave error in failing to see Expendables 2, which will explode your face if you’ve not already seen it
A couple of other movies worth seeing, and mini-reviews of the Dictator and the Bourne Legacy
the latest “doping scandal”, in which I’m pretty sure my voice rose to an earsplitting shriek in the midst of my wild-eyed rant
the oldest and youngest broads we’d realistically fuck
a tiny bit of training
upcoming meets

If you liked the song in the intro/outro, it’s off the Warriors’ first disc, War is Hell. If you didn’t like it, eat shit. That song is the tits.

In other news, this cyclist has legs bigger than yours, and is the guy I was looking up when I stopped paying attention to Paul altogether near the end of the podcast: Robert Förstemann is on the German Olympic team for cycling and doubles 572 on the squat at a bodyweight of 200 lbs.

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Jamie Chaos

I am a former all-time, all federation world record holder in raw powerlifting at 181lbs, a record I broke just to say fuck you to the internet’s “lifting” community and the powerlifting community at large. Over the last ten years I’ve written over 500 articles on strength training, nutrition, and supplementation, and continue to do so simply to fight the tide of weakness and sadness that currently pervades the scene I’ve called home for the better part of three decades. I’ve got personal trainin certs, BodyPump and BodyCombat certs, a BA in History and East Asian Studies from the University of Arizona, and MBAs from the Vienna University and University of South Carolina on my side, in addition to some sick lifts and a hell of a lot of rage. What the fuck have you got?

38 responses to “Chaos and Bang Your Earballs #15 (Allegedly)”

Rant

September 3, 2012

Once again, Jamie's never happier than when he's sucking up to (or off) some steroid taker (Robert Förstemann). Who cares how big his legs are? Put him on a desert island with just good food to eat and weights to lift (no steroids), and his legs will shrink. Because he's a cunt. In his favour though, he's on a level playing field with your mate Paul Carter (ie, both on roids), but from pictures on his site it's hard to tell if Paul even works out at all. Pause squats only in the mid 400's even with regular jabs of test ethanate (and prohormones). Is he ill?
Anonymous

September 3, 2012

Why the fuck do you have to sign up to a shitty website to listen to a fucking podcast? thanks for wasting my time, twat. stick to the gay porn
1. Phil
  
  September 4, 2012
  
  With the time it took you to type the comment, you could have made an account and started your download.
steve

September 3, 2012

There is so much anger going on in these comments. It's messing with my jam.
1. Vittorio
  
  September 3, 2012
  
  Yep.
  
  As I see, nothing wrong with anger, but it's much better suited in gym, sex, etc. Rage comments? Come on.
Phil

September 4, 2012

Bitch all you like. The guy is a freaking Olympic athlete. Are you? If your answered "no", then please sit the fuck down.
If you dont like the podcast, don't listen.
1. Rant
  
  September 4, 2012
  
  "The guy is a freaking Olympic athlete" – on steroids, therefore a cheat.
  
  "Are you?" – Yes. And i'm after the olympic record for fucking Alex Matthews mom.
Adam

September 4, 2012

self employed "selling t-shirts" i see these guys every time i go on vacation in mexico hocking goods.

so much for an MA in the USA.
DHB

September 4, 2012

Why does someone always complain about needing to sign up to download? You fucking well don't. I did this last time and I'll do it again:

1. Click the blue logo in the top left of the player
2. Click the blue 'download now' box (the others are ad bullshit)
3. Click the grey 'free download' box and wait the 20 seconds
4. Save the file to your computer then listen however the fuck you like
Alex Matthews

September 4, 2012

Yeah, who cares how big that guys legs, put him on a desert island with no food for a week and he'll lose weight. Where are his big legs now? Who cares how smart someone is, if you cut their head off, they're not very smart are they?
Go fuck yourself rant
1. Rant
  
  September 4, 2012
  
  Ha ha, ok, i'll do that. Just as soon as i've finished fucking your mom 🙂
2. Alex Matthews
  
  September 5, 2012
  
  How could an inbred, severely retarded troll fuck my mum?
3. Blobb
  
  September 6, 2012
  
  Ask your dad!
4. Rant
  
  September 6, 2012
  
  You beat me to it!! I was going to say with a bag over her head.
Matt Siders

September 4, 2012

In Find A Way To Keep Moving Forward #2 you wrote "As the only dynamic permutation of this of which I could think was jump squats, I started doing those prior to either front or back squat partials."

Any thoughts on what someone could use as a dynamic/strength movement for bench. The only one I could come up with was Bench Throws. The more I think about these, however, the more I think about missing the bar and knocking all my teeth out.
1. Anonymous
  
  September 4, 2012
  
  Medicine balls throws and various plyo pushups come to mind.
2. Jamie Lewis
  
  September 4, 2012
  
  I used to do a lot of ballistic dips- throw yourself off the parallel bars and then catch yourself as you come down. Other than that, bench throws in the smith machine, or the suggestions above work.
Cyclefag

September 4, 2012

I laff at the hate comments every tiem
@Matt Siders – Medicine ball throws are good. If you have access to a smith machine you can always use that as well (set the fucking safeties)
Eric

September 4, 2012

The steroid issue has to be addressed here….at some point…but to go back to Fostermann…It's really, really hard for a German cop, on the no-notice drug testing list to use steroids. Sprint cycling isn't a money sport and he needs his job. Germany, like the US,scandinavia, Canada and other western democracies are all too eager to catch their own athletes. Ask Lance. That being said there is something homo-erotic about Fostermann, isn't there?
Ktran

September 5, 2012

Did u get fired?
John Doe

September 5, 2012

I'll address the steroid issue, think of your favorite professional athlete, they probably use proformence enhancement, or smoke pot, have tons of sex, drink, gamble, or are human in some other way and not perfect as you expect them to be. Stop living in fantasy land
Nathan

September 5, 2012

Preach it brother Lewis.
KC

September 5, 2012

There's some good news on Armstrong, his wins haven't actually been stripped yet. UCI has said they recognise USADA's authority and will follow through, just as soon as USADA provides them with evidence against Lance.
KC

September 5, 2012

I've also found that UCI wasn't under WADA (which the USADA is the lackey of, and whose rules Lance is accused of breaking) until fucking 2010.
Herp Derpington

September 6, 2012

Now this top line translates into, "Pharoah gobbles donkey goobers," and the bottom line, "Cleopatra does the nasty."
Dazz Ling

September 6, 2012

So what happened with your job, did you quit or get fired?
Anonymous

September 8, 2012

Can I get a download link? I'm on mobile and can't stream for shit.

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