Goethe said that. He was all about being a badass and living on the edge, to the point where he also stated that “The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.”

I live, essentially, by credos like “nothing ventured, nothing gained”, “no guts, no glory” and “fortune favors the bold”. These are the mottoes on which I base my life, my training philosophy, and my very persona. Many a tactician has lived and died by these mottoes, and given that weightlifting is essentially a battle with iron, it would stand to reason that we march toward the enemy with the fearlessness and disdain it deserves.

That stated, this is a high-risk, high-yield methodology. You’re not inured from risk. You flirt with it. You tempt it. You cavort with risk every single time you grab the bar. It’s essential you realize this, because if you ignore the risk, injury, or hurt, it will surprise and discourage you.

Pain is a reminder that you’re alive.

You will hurt. This is the nature of life- pain.

A couple of months ago, I fucked myself up badly doing the ultimate in high-risk, high-yield exercises, the Behind the Neck Push Press. I’ve told the story here before- I spent about an hour doing singles with 315, then missed one, bashed myself in the head with it, and crashed into a massive, hulking, two story leg press machine, which is now my nemesis. My bad elbow swelled up like I was an African with elephantiasis and I could barely extend my arm, much less do useful weights on BTNs, for quite some time. Since then, I’ve become a bit of a pussy on them, training in gyms where I can’t dump the weight, or just not loading up like a man would. That ended the other day. I rocked the fuck out of 295-315 for multiple singles, and 285 for a bunch of doubles. At the end, I got it into my head that I was going to do a death set. Given that I was in the gym after hours, by myself, in a city where no one knows me, this could have actually been a death set. I pushed through a few reps, then blasted myself in the back of the head and called it a day. Three days later, my neck is killing me, but I finally rid myself of my low-grade headache.

There’s another standpoint from which to view the art of training dangerously- from an economic standpoint. ChAoS and PAIN is essentially a high-risk, high-yield bond. Conservative investors, of which I bet Stuart McRobert and Mark Rippetoe are representatives, tend to avoid “junk” bonds, focusing instead on bullshit like CDs and municipal bonds. Why even fucking bother, in my opinion, buying one of those? The rate of return is only marginally better than what I get on my fucking checking account with Schwab. Thus, Ripp and McRobert advise people to stick with low volume exercises, low risk movements (McRobert likes leg presses because they’re safe, which is utter horseshit, and bespeaks his idiocy), and they probably enjoy elevator music, the color beige, and movies starring Alan Alda.
If he’s saying to himself, “Why god, why? Why do I suck so fucking badly?”, that makes two of us.

An article in the Motley Fool a while back read:
“As an investor with a focus on dividends, “Don’t chase high-yielding stocks” is particularly close to my heart. In theory, a high yield screams high risk. In practice, a high yield can also mean slow growth prospects or simply that a company is being misunderstood by the market.”

CnP is a perfect example of the latter- it’s a program that is misunderstood by the market. Asshats all over the interwebs, all of whom would lose a fistfight to a cardboard cutout of Miley Cyrus, have high bodyfat percentages and are as weak as AIDS-ridden kittens, have had a lot of bullshit to say about CnP, and not a single one have tried it. They fail to understand that there’s a method to the madness, and that while this methodology does indeed carry a higher rate of risk, it also bears a far higher rate of return.


D.E.B. Dubois once said that the “most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.” So, it’s time to give up sucking and become a badass. Know that you’ve got to crack a few eggs to make an omlette. Abandon your fear.

Attack the weights.

—————-
Now playing: The Dillinger Escape Plan – 43% Burnt
via FoxyTunes

Liked it? Take a second to support Jamie Chaos on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!