Plague of Strength

In case you’re unaware, Cameroon is a central African country in the sort of armpit of Africa (literally, not figuratively- in the edge of the bulb of Africa where it makes a hard right turn towards Antarctica) that borders the Atlantic to the west, Nigeria to the northwest, Chad to the northeast, Central African Republic to the east, the Republic of the Congo to the southeast, and Gabon and Equatorial Guinea to the south. I realize you’ve likely never heard of it, but it’s a country about the size of California with a population about the size of Texas if you’re American, or is a country between the sizes of France and Spain with a little less than half of Spain’s population, but it’s shaped like a triangle and travel between regions within its borders is incredibly difficult because it’s a long country with plains in the north, mountains in the middle, and tropical rainforests in the south.

If you have heard of Cameroon, it’s because of one man- the hardest puncher in the world (according to the UFC and their machine with a byzantine measuring system that makes their results impossible to compare to results with other machines) and current UFC heavyweight champion, Francis Ngannou. Frankly, Ngannou deserves a BMF of his own, but sufficed to say the man is basically the greatest athlete to ever come out of Cameroon, and distinctly unique among his countrymen as a fighter (Cameroon doesn’t have much of a martial or fight sport history). In any event, this chicken dish is pretty much a mainstay in Cameroon- Karim (my training client from Cameroon who’s an econ professor at Princeton and made insane gains over a couple of months genuinely couldn’t give it a name other than “chicken” because it’s just how they make chicken (though everyone has their own take on the recipe).

For that reason, my friend gave this chicken its name because it needed one, and the best I had was “Knockout Chicken” after the aforementioned fighter. Makossa, as it happens, is a style of Cameroonian urban music that began sounding a lot like late 70s funk and disco but now resembles , so if you’re feeling sufficiently Austin Powers-y you can throw it on when you start up the disco ball and spinning bed in an effort to commence some clothing-optional sweatiness after you’ve secured your paramour’s heart with this delectable chicken. In the end, this chicken dish is the same kind of party in your mouth that makossa starts on the streets, which is why it’s so rad.

Interestingly, just as makossa music shares similarities with Caribbean, Central American, and South American pop and reggaeton, so too does it share flavor notes with the cuisine of the region. Chicken makossa reminds me a lot of Peruvian and Argentine roast chicken, so if you are looking for a FFO type of recomendation, I would say this dish is FFO: chimichurri, Peruvian roast chicken, and similarly garlicky-parsley dishes.

Ingredients

• 1.5lb of Chicken (drums or thighs, preferably)
• 1TBSP Montreal Steak Seasoning
• 1/2TBSP Oregano
• 1/2TBSP Italian Seasoning
• 1tsp Lemon Pepper Seasoning (I used a TBSP of lemon juice and a bunch of extra black pepper, as I’m a culinary snob and refuse to buy lemon pepper)
• 1/4 Bell Pepper
• 1/4 medium to small Onion
• 5 big cloves of Garlic
• Parsley to taste
• 1/3 cup chopped Celery
• 1/3 cup chopped Leek
• 1TBSP White Vinegar
• 3TBSP cooking oil
• Salt and Pepper to Taste

Directions

1. Blend the bell pepper, onion, parsley, celery, garlic, and leek together with a little bit of water.
2. Add to the mix the Montreal steak seasoning, oregano, lemon pepper, and oil.
3. Give the mix a good stir until everything is well mixed.
4. Taste and add salt and pepper if needed.
5. Add the white vinegar and mix well.
6. Pour the marinade on the chicken and cover it, then rest in the fridge for an hour.
7. Bake for 55-75 min (depending on the size of the chicken pieces), turning the chicken at the 30 minute mark.

Nutrition

You’ve gotta eat big to get big, so go eat like Francis Ngannou and see what happens- one would doubt doing anything that man does would lead to anything but success (he’s a rags to riches story for the ages). But lest you think I’ve forgotten our old friend capsaicin, never fear, for the Cameroonians have a condiment that pairs perfectly with this delectably juicy chicken- African pepper sauce. As Karim and his wife are not into spicy food, I procured the following recipe by cobbling together two highly rated recipes (one which included the ginger and one which did not) into one easy-to-prepare banger of authentic African cuisine. And if you think you’ve no need of spicy foods in your life, allow me to retort at very great length.

Ingredients

• 10 Scotch Bonnet Peppers (you can sub habanero, but the flavor changes dramatically)
• 1 inch piece of ginger root, minced
• 1 medium onion
• 4 garlic cloves
• 2 tablespoon bouillon powder or Maggi (which I’ve not yet tried, but plan to add a bottle to the same shelf that holds my Goya Sazon, Adobo, and regular seasoned salt)
• 2 basil leaves
• 2 tablespoon parsley
• 1-3 Roma tomatoes adjust to for spiciness
• 1/2 -1 cup vegetable oil
• salt

Instructions

1. Coarsely chop the tomatoes, onions , and discard stems of the pepper. Then throw the tomatoes, onions, garlic, pepper, parsley basil, and Maggi in the food processor along with as much oil as desired.
2. Pour the pepper mixture into a small sauce pan bring to a boil and slowly simmer for about 15 minutes, stirring frequently. Add salt to taste.
3. Let it cool, pour in a mason jar or a container with a lid and store in a fridge for about a week or more. In order for your pepper sauce to last a long time make sure it is fully covered in oil.

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