Freyja’d Knot- I’m in Keto Hell, Someone Toss Me a Donut!

Tara Chaos

January 31, 2019

Day 4 of our return to Keto…

I have hit the point where I would cut a bitch for carbs, and it is only getting worse. The positive of all this is we have a cheat day in about 3 days. I am counting down to those glorious hours where I get to shove my head in a trough of pasta.

via GIPHY

Much to my relief, I have found Skippy Naturals Super Crunchy is low carb enough for me to have a serving once a day. I am already at the point of never wanting to see chicken breasts again, so I need to figure my shit out food wise. The awesome thing is Jamie and I found like 5 lbs of dirt cheap flank steak, so we are both stuffing our faces. Even better I found a spicy, low carb guacamole salsa that is the SHIT! Needless to say I was a VERY happy chick last night, after housing a pound of breakfast sausage, to eat this.

Medium rare steak, and guac-salsa. All that was missing was tortilla chips.

I wish I could give you some banging breakfast recipe that doesn’t consist of eggs, but honestly, I ate chicken breast and guacamole. I am working on the breakfast thing because I LOVE breakfast foods, but I don’t want to live on omelettes. Lunch was a HELL of a lot more challenging because the women I work with all went to lunch, and they chose a pizza place. Let me tell you, I have NEVER been so tempted to lick a window.

This was my strategy for dealing with going out to lunch at a pizza place. Chicken & Broccoli Pesto. I’d rather pasta honestly.

Keto Day 5… (Friday)

I woke up feeling human after 2 days of getting my ass kicked by Keto Flu. It tends to nail me in ways it doesn’t hit Jamie because in his words, I am a camel. I tend to get SUPER sucked in to whatever I am doing and lose track of time. That means eating and drinking are a bit erratic with me.

For those who aren’t familiar, symptoms of the Keto Flu are:

Nausea
Vomiting
Constipation
Diarrhea
Headache
Irritability
Weakness
Muscle cramps
Dizziness
Poor concentration
Stomach pain
Muscle soreness
Difficulty sleeping
Sugar cravings

To wake up and not feel like I was hit by a truck was AMAZING. Adding to my whirlwind of awesomeness was that I found a fantastic looking recipe for Taco Soup that Jamie and I will be playing with over the weekend trying to find the best results for “with cheese” and “without cheese”. With any luck you will have 2 new keto recipes to add to your arsenal of “tastes so good it feels like you are having a cheat meal”.

I wish I could show you some sort of foodie awesomeness today, but with Jamie and I both at the Clark Kent jobs ALL day, then a long ass lifting session scheduled tonight since I am no longer crying about how much my body hates me, it is leftover steak/chicken and assorted keto friendly sauces for both of us today.

Since we are in a quiet period at work, I am making a shopping list for a much dreaded Costco trip. I really don’t think that place would be so bad if it wasn’t for the bakery department. I still occasionally dream of this chocolate cake we got there one time, which was probably one of the BEST things I have ever eaten, and I am a massive foodie. The people there are generally intolerable too. But for large amounts of cheap meat it is probably the way we are going to have to go.

The things that are hopefully getting tried out this weekend are:

Taco Soup
The fastest, tastiest ways to cook chicken, with the LEAST amount of effort
Keto on the cheap

Lets be honest, NO ONE wants to spend their weekend meal prepping, and no one really wants to live on bland chicken breast and steamed broccoli. And personally, I hate eating the same foods over and over, and I am something of a picky eater.

Cheat Day (Super Bowl Sunday)

Our cheat day started off with Biscuits and Sausage Gravy… There are very few things I love more than Jamie’s biscuits and gravy. Cheat day, and Balor are about the only things above it. The yummy creamy goodness is a weekend staple in the Chaos household.

I wish I could show you the rest of the carbie goodness Sunday held, but… I was too busy shoving it in my face. We had pizzas (frozen but damn good), onion rings, wings, cheesecake and spring rolls, and probably other shit I just can’t remember.

Then the clock struck 10pm and we turned back into Ketos…

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Tara Chaos

10 responses to “Freyja’d Knot- I’m in Keto Hell, Someone Toss Me a Donut!”

Joshua

February 7, 2019

Have you two ever considered buying part of a cow? GF and I just got half of one. 424 pounds of meat for just over $3 a pound.
Joshua

February 7, 2019

Have you two ever considered buying part of a cow? GF and I just bought half of one. 424 pounds of meat for just over $3 a pound.
1. Tara Chaos
  
  February 7, 2019
  
  That sounds amazing! I figured I’d start with broke keto stuff first since that is one of most frequent reasons I hear about people not doing keto.
  
  Lol. When we get a large freezer, we will be all over that!
2. Joshua
  
  February 7, 2019
  
  Didn’t realize the first one went through. Sorry for the double post!
  1. Tara Chaos
    
    February 7, 2019
    
    No worries. WordPress is an odd creature.
phreakshow

February 7, 2019

No offense:

I just posted in another ‘Freya’ post about the ‘Livejournal’ nature of these things being completely incompatible with reader expectations. After reading this one I have to state in no uncertain terms they are. These posts will split/confuse/put off Lewis’ readership. The fact that this one has been up for a week and has no comments says it all.
1. Jamie Chaos
  
  February 7, 2019
  
  Hahaha. Not getting your money’s worth? That sucks. Bro, the site is free. I’ve not been paid from my company since July and had to take on a second full time job to eat. I can only do so much and thought you guys would appreciate the additional content. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. If you find it confusing, I’m not sure why you’re here in the first place. I’m not real clear on why you’re so up in arms about content on a site that’s been free for ten years that is basically nothing more than a labor of love that constantly makes me question my sanity over fucking up a perfectly good career in software for.
  1. Brandon
    
    February 7, 2019
    
    You should of just said “bitch you don’t pay my bills”.
2. Jamie Chaos
  
  February 7, 2019
  
  I get your point, man, so don’t think my back is up about your dislike of the posts. Like I said, I can’t put out articles with rapid fire frequency and need to eat, so I thought you guys would appreciate a little slice of life. I constantly get asked to make videos and all sorts of shit and have no interest in filming myself or “letting people into my life,” but for whatever reason, people persist in asking. This was an attempt to meet people halfway. Why I bother even making the attempt is another question altogether, but just skip em if you dislike em. I’m the only author in the history of strength sports with work this consistently awesome, innovative, or well written, so I think at this point I can do what I want, since I’ll be buried in a pauper’s grave with a bunch of pussies talking shit on the internet the entire way anyhow, haha.
Mojosan

February 7, 2019

Jamie and Tara love the frequent posts thanks for the blog..whiny guy should eat a frisbee