No Fap? More Like No Fucking Way. Part 2- If You’re Cumming, It’s Sex, and It’s Good For You.

The first installment of this ancient series has been re-formatted here.

I’ll begin with an admission that is likely as obvious as it is unpopular- I don’t give a fuck about anyone’s mental illness. I don’t care about their depression. I don’t give a fuck if they’re bipolar, schizophrenic, dealing with PTSD, or autistic. It’s none of my fucking business and I have no interest whatsoever in making it my business, and furthermore I find it intolerable to have that information foisted on me. Those things are “you” problems that have nothing whatsoever to do with the people around you, and it is neither incumbent upon me to allow for them, nor is it an excuse for anyone’s bad behavior.

If you’re fucked up, fix it. If you fail to, you’re a shitty person for imposing upon the rest of us.

These days, everyone is super busy with telling everyone whether or not they’re neuro-typical or -atypical, in addition to sharing every other fucking malady real or perceived with which they might be afflicted. That shit matters to me about as much as your gender identity or sexual preference, and it shouldn’t matter to anyone else- it’s no one’s fucking business but your own. There is literally no reason to tell that shit to anyone unless it comes up in the course of conversation or you’re directly asked. It’s like blood type or your astrological sign- talking about it doesn’t make you interesting. In fact, it shows everyone exactly how fucking dull you are, because a person who defines themselves by their disease, their race, their sexual preference, or any of that other shit is a shallow, useless person with nothing to offer the world but their corpse.

Speaking of people with nothing whatsoever to offer the world but their hopefully imminent demise, we return again to the world of the profoundly mentally ill Gen Z nothings of the NoFap community. For those of you who live blissfully unaware of this barnacle on the ass of society, NoFap and its VolCels (voluntary celibate) goes hand in hand with the redpill, MGTOW, and blackpill/incel movements, and their association with those three movements explains everything you need to know- they’re unemployed subhumans living with their parents who angry because they lack personalities, social lives, self worth, and most importantly, a working penis. Instead of rightly blaming themselves for their myriad failings and working to resolve them, they’ve decided to pick up the mantle of every psychotic Christian cult since their baby Jesus’ untimely death- they blame the evils of masturbation instead.

“Far more treacherous was the ‘solitary vice,’ masturbation, which had been thought of as somewhat less rousing than the real thing. [Sylvester] Graham [Seventh Day Adventist inventor of the Graham cracker], however, pointed out that as a solitary activity, the practice of masturbation was likely to start at an earlier age and to occur more often than partnered sex. Most important, the lack of a partner meant resorting to fantasy and the conjuring of erotic scenes and lewd images that surely stirred the brain to a fever pitch. (By this analysis, lusting in the heart was physiologically equivalent to lusting in the flesh.) Because the brain’s inflamed state could be transmitted to any organ or tissue of the body through the nervous system, all manner of disease could follow. But with sexual solitaire, the climax—rather the culmination—was insanity.”

‘This general mental decay,’ Graham warned, ‘continues with the continued abuses, till the wretched transgressor sinks into a miserable fatuity, and finally becomes a confirmed and degraded idiot, whose deeply sunken and vacant glassy eye, and livid, shriveled countenance, and ulcerous, toothless gums, and fetid breath, and feeble broken voice, and emaciated and dwarfish and crooked body, and almost hairless head—covered, perhaps, with suppurating blisters and running sores—denote a premature old age—a blighted body—and a ruined soul'” (Whorton).

According to that deranged Christian fuck knuckle, all sex was bad, but masturbation was the worst because it “inflames the brain more than natural arousal” and amounts to “self-abuse” (O’Neil N). Graham’s solution was just as stupid as his fucking theories at the outset, then graduated to the kind of outright cruelty in which redpills, blackpills, MGTOWs and other junior-league mass killing Redditor pussies revel… assuming they can work up the fucking courage to leave the house.

To begin treatment, Graham recommended

“’Soft beds and pillows must be carefully avoided…the floor, with a single folded blanket beneath the sleeper, would be preferable. A hair mattress, or a bed of corn husks —covered with two or three blankets or a quilted cotton mattress makes a very healthy and comfortable bed.’

If your child is obstinate and keeps rolling over during sleep, tie a knotted sheet or rope to their backs. The discomfort will urge them back on their sides, where their genitals are less likely to be stimulated” (O’Neill T).

If that didn’t work, Graham’s anti-scientific medical opinion was to have the children avoid food with any flavor, most herbs, meat, caffeine, and alcohol. If that failed, he recommended his ever-popular yogurt enema. Failing that eminently unscientific method, he threw in some nonconsensual BDSM (that is, after recommending parents burst into their kids’ rooms at random and closely examine their genitals for signs of arousal in the form of hard dicks, erect clits, or swollen mounds).

“Bandaging the parts has been practiced with success. Tying the hands is also successful in some cases; but this will not always succeed, for they will often contrive to continue the habit in other ways, as by working the limbs, or lying upon the abdomen. Covering the organs with a cage has been practiced with entire success” (O’Neill T).

By this point, you’d figure Graham’s medical credentials came from a fucking clown college, which nicely prefaces the “scientific” methodology of the modern NoFap movement. He didn’t stop at simply aping the methods of a drunken clown with a penchant for bondage, however- he went full Unit 731 when all other methods failed, performing female and male circumcisions without anesthesia, “as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. The soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice, and if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed” (O’Neill T). And if you’re unfamiliar with the types of methods fans of the loudmouth weakling Friedrich Nietzsche and other bitchmade “traditionalists” employ in female circumcision. They don’t just remove a bit of tissue like they do in a male circumcision to make oral easier- they remove the clit and the inner lips entirely, which is practice for which anyone involved should die slowly, as should every living member of their family.

So that’s the basis of the NoFap movement- Christian psychosis and extremely bad science. The fun continues in the modern day due to the wonders of the internet, where the nothings can feel like something because they’ve got other terrified shut-ins to converse with online. Modern NoFappers believe that they are “addicted” to pornography, a belief that is again rooted in religious hysteria and homophobia as opposed to science (Rendina), and that the Coolidge Effect is the root of all of life’s problems, which seem to involve “low energy” and a “lack of motivation” as if this is the 19th Century and they’re looking for a good snake oil salesman.

The Coolidge Effect, for those of you who are unaware, is when a male fucks himself senseless with several females until he loses all interest in sex. No matter how much their rub their sloppy wet pussies on his face or dick, he’s too tired to fuck. Too tired, that is, until a saucy new slut appears, in which case he’s completely reinvigorated and commences to fucking like he’s Tommy Lee in a Tampa strip club in 1992. It doesn’t take a prolonged period of time for this recovery- it is simply new stimulus that reinvigorates him. And it’s not that his dopamine levels are deficient or decreased- it’s just that he doesn’t get the same spike of dopamine from sex with the “old hat” broads as he does from the new ones. Nor is he listless, covered in Cheetos dust and failure, rolling around on the floor without the will to live- he’s just bored of fucking the same chicks. If anything, the Coolidge Effect explains why polyamory is natural, but it in absolutely no way suggests that abstinence from any and all sexual activity is necessary or productive in regaining your libido.

“The presentation of a novel receptive female behind a screen resulted in a slight increase in NAC DA, which was augmented significantly during renewed copulation with the novel female. The present data suggest that the stimulus properties of a novel receptive female may serve to increase NAC DA transmission in a sexually satiated male rat, and this, in turn, may be related to the reinitiation of sexual behavior” (Fiorino).

So to reiterate- if you’re fucked out, you just need a new partner to stoke that fire, and you’re off to the fucking races again. If you’re sadly saddled with suburban monogamy, you can mix it up with all sorts of shit to get that novelty spike- just try some pain play (orgasms and physical pain stimulate the same parts of the brain and result in the same dumps of endorphins and other feel good brain shit), or sexual denial shit like edging, or pegging, or role play. And if you’re jerking off, get new porn, new toys, and some goddamn nipple clamps.

Fuck- there’s no shame in our game in the Chaos household, so if you need toy recommendations just ask Tara or myself. We can tell you where to get cheap horse cock dildos, vibes, pocket rockets, pocket pussies, restraints, TENS butt plugs, knockoff Bad Dragon dildos, or whatever (I can take a pic of the sex toy bin for the Discord we’ve set up for the Patreon if you guys want). Our house is literally littered with more dildos than you’d find in a fucking porn shop, and most of them are big enough to give a NoFapper fucking heart failure.

These low T, Eeyore-loving saddies also claim to be sex and/or porn addicts. Porn addiction is refuted by basically every reputable non-Christian source on the planet, and is considered to be a weird outgrowth of Christian morality wherein they attempt to excuse their perceived bad behavior by claiming it to be a disease. Sex addition is also a very dubious “addiction” with a self-reported rate of 3-6% in the US adult population, which means they’re claiming to be between a fourth and a sixth of the total population with a substance abuse or mental health issue. Which is, of course, fucking preposterous- we’re in the midst of a heroin epidemic, alcoholism is still a problem, and there are unprecedented levels of mental health issues in the US, but they’re claiming that the rate of people who over-jerk rivals those. Because in addition to being failures at reading comprehension, these limp-dicked nothings also suck at math.

“The brain changes observed in long-term substance abusers are nearly identical to those seen in people struggling with obesity, porn aficionados, gamblers, internet “addicts”, compulsive shoppers and simply those involved in intense romantic relationships. They involve overactivation of a part of the brain that directs goal pursuit (the striatum) in response to cues predicting their preferred rewards, and long-term desensitization in response to rewards more generally” (Lewis). 

You won’t find sex addiction or porn addiction in the DSM-5 for very good reason- there is a total lack of empirical evidence for their existence (Karila). There is more evidence that the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot exist than there is for “porn addiction,” and the very concept of flaccid, sallow-faced, low testosterone, cellar-dwellers having the libido necessary to jerk themselves to exhaustion is about as likely as it is that their desert wizard will smite me with lightning bolts of righteousness fired out of his fat little baby fists for including a human toilet gif in this article.

“Sexual addiction” is almost always “cured” with antidepressants, all of which have the notable side effect of lowering libido in addition to treating depression.

Sexual dysfunctions are common in depression but are often underreported and the misconceptions about sexual functioning are highly prevalent. Medications used to treat depression can also cause impairments in sexual functioning. Hence, we decided to study the prevalence and types of problems in sexual functioning, sexual myths, and misconceptions in depressed males and compare it with the general population, along with the changes in depression and sexual functioning after treatment with escitalopram (Mitrokostas)

These goofballs are simply depressed, and without any human contact because they’re too emotionally stunted and generally awful to go out and meet people, they sit home and ride the high of dopamine they get from jerking off. There is no sex addiction- it’s just a temporary salve for their psyches, because they’ve ostracized themselves from society and are depressed as a result. One of the main side effects of anti-depressants is low-to-no libido, so they think they’re “cured” once they get on them because they have no sex drive and no longer want to hang themselves.

And as to their staunch belief that masturbation doesn’t confer the same benefits as sex, they’re wrong again. They believe there is a feeling of satiety obtained from sex that masturbation doesn’t provide. One’s body cannot differentiate between onanism and sexual congress with another person or people, however- the disparity in physiological response in regards to stress hormones and blood pressure is due to the release of oxytocin that comes from physical contact with a person with whom you have a close personal bond (Saletan). Thus, you can beat your dick or ladydick into much while watching the most horrible imaginable porn all day every day for a year, the (after hopefully washing your hands) pet your cat or dog for fifteen minutes and get the oxytocin dump you need to shrug off the stresses of the day. Thereafter, you’ll be healthy and hale, free of any dubious addictions, and with all of the benefits of sex without having to go to the effort of fucking a stranger in a dumpster in the back of a Wendy’s.

Cumming is a Nootropic

As I wrote the title to this section, it occurs to me that this might be part of the reason NoFappers are so fucking stupid they cannot even understand simple Wikipedia entries- their brains are as flaccid as their dicks. People with increased sexual activity, which includes “included intercourse, masturbation, petting or fondling” have increased levels of cognitive function, with “a significant association between sexual activity and recall scores in women” and “number sequencing and recall” in men (Wright). They believe this is due to alterations in neurotransmission caused by the high levels of dopamine, oxytocin, and testosterone caused by sexual activity of any kind.

“It may also be that, evolutionary speaking, since this activity increases blood flow across the brain so dramatically, it may have developed in part to help keep the brain healthy, too” (Mitrokostas).

And you can’t really overstate the level of brain activity that goes on during sex- the only activity that rivals a female orgasm is an epileptic seizure. When chicks cum, their brains light up like the Griswolds’ house at Christmas, though in the brain it starts as a wave, beginning in the limbic system and hitting a crescendo in which all sorts of unrelated sections of the brain are firing at once. In short, their brain gets a fucking pump from cumming. For dudes, it’s far less cerebral, both literally and figuratively. Studies have shown our orgasms are far more like a heroin rush, but not from an addiction standpoint- just from a brain activity perspective (Holstege). Our higher order processing basically shuts down wholesale (as is does with females, which is apparently the only part of their brains not going bananas), which has the awesome side effect of sexual disinhibition (Georgiadis). Thus, if you want to drop some horrible kink on your partner, the moment of orgasm is the time to broach the subject. For males, though, the reward center of our brains goes nuts, which the redpill/blackpill/MGTOW limpdick brigade claims is proof of their “addiction”, when in reality it is nothing more than a built-in system designed to get men to fuck to spread the human plague across the globe. It’s what led Genghis Khan to impregnate half of Asia and Wilt Chamberlain and Ric Flair to fuck thousands of chicks.

And once more, for the pussies in the back who are holding up the wall rather than crowding the stage:

“Surprisingly, the brain doesn’t differentiate much between sex and other pleasurable experiences. The parts of your brain that make you feel good after indulging in dessert or winning at poker are the same areas that light up during orgasm. ‘Sex is experienced as pleasurable and this is because the reward pathways in our brains are activated during and leading up to orgasm. These are the very same networks that are activated in response to drug use, alcohol consumption, gambling, listening to your favourite song or enjoying a delicious meal'” (Mitrokostas)

You’ll find a counterpoint to the above on the NoFapper propaganda, because again, they’re stupid motherfuckers who have shitty reading comprehension. How they became so stupid they they couldn’t pour piss our of a boot with the directions written on the heel, but their propaganda continually astonishes me with its brazen factual incorrectness. They will claim that masturbation, and masturbation to porn in particular, will make you dumber based on a single study done by researchers who’ve already proven that internet usage in general turns you into a drooling fuckwit. The oft quoted study states that

“We found a significant negative association between reported pornography hours per week and gray matter volume in the right caudate (P < .001, corrected for multiple comparisons) as well as with functional activity during a sexual cue-reactivity paradigm in the left putamen (P < .001). Functional connectivity of the right caudate to the left dorsolateral prefrontal cortex was negatively associated with hours of pornography consumption” (Kühn, Brain Structure).

The researcher themselves knew their methodology was flawed as fuck and the lead researcher admitted the following in an interview with the Daily Telegraph:

“It’s not clear … whether watching porn leads to brain changes or whether people born with certain brain types watch more porn” (Jarrett).

Self-reporting porn consumption with men is like self-reporting dick size- it’s inaccurate and based heavily on their personality, which is in turn linked with their brain characteristics. Nevertheless, heavy internet use tends to fuck up people’s brains. According to one study, “the available evidence indicates that the Internet can produce both acute and sustained alterations in… cognition, which may be reflected in changes in the brain” (Firth). The lead researcher of the study linking stupidity and porn consumption must have forgotten that in another study her conclusion was that the same portion of the brain showed decreased volume with regular internet use, which led to reduced “ability to maintain long-term goals in face of distraction” (Kühn, Brains Online).

In short, the internet is giving people faux ADD, and porn is not the culprit.

What Drives NoFappers is Pretty Simple

I won’t pretend that I understand anything that goes on in the heads of you people, and as I said, I generally don’t care. With a movement so unequivocally wrong about literally everything and weirdly insidious, however, I wondered what was driving this bunch of limp-dicked shit slugs. It’s not just a desire to beat women and plow cars into groups of people, or shoot up high schools and movie theaters and Walmarts- there has to be something more deep seated and weird. As it happens, it’s just depression and whatever the fuck is wrong with people with anorexia and bulimia.

“Most of the patients had mild-to-moderate grades of depression. Sexual dysfunctions were seen in 62.5% of the patient group. Significant differences were seen with decreased sexual desire, orgasmic problems, and overall dissatisfaction in the patient group. Depression was found to be significantly associated with sexual functioning. Myths about masturbation and penile size and shape were higher in the depressed population. After treatment with escitalopram, there was an improvement in depression and satisfaction with intercourse and overall sexual life” (Thakurdesai).

So they’ve got the depression thing popping, and they are weak and ineffectual people- if you want proof, just go there and see for yourself. The weakness seeping out of that site will literally chill your blood, fill vaginas with sand, and pucker your fucking asshole. You would ask lepers and hemophiliacs with full-blown AIDS to help you move before you’d think of letting one of those clammy-palmed weirdos anywhere near your belongings or your person. Antifa would invite Nazis to houseparties and vice-versa if the alternative was that pack of slump-shouldered Eeyores, and Jeanine Garafalo would fuck Donald Trump on national television before she would allow one of those sallow-cheeked autists touch her hair.

In the end, it’s a control paradox, just like it is for anorexics. For anorexics,

“The paradox consists in the very powerful control which anorexics exert in the area of food and weight and their own experience of themselves as utterly out of control. Anorexics are attempting to solve the problem of their own powerlessness and denigration as women by engaging in an internal struggle for self-control. The struggle takes the form of an effort to transcend the body which debases them, and to achieve self-respect through self-denial” (Lawrence).

Clearly, the NoFappers are in the exact same boat of sadness. It is indeed a tragedy we cannot sink it with all hands aboard, but genocide is generally frowned upon these days, no matter how justifiable. Going by what is prescribed anorexics, they need medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, and sex therapy, in addition to coaching on the development of personalities and perhaps a fucking hobby.

And Not Cumming Yields Zero Benefits

Look, I’m not gonna say I’ve never owned a chastity belt or worn one, because that would be a lie. I get it- orgasm denial can be hot as fuck, and anyone who’s worth a shit in bed has tied up their partner and edged them until they were near tears… but there is a happy ending at the end of the fucking edging. Same with chastity belts- you can cum in the fucking things, and half the fucking fun of wearing one is repeated, forced ruined orgasms and the incredible sensation of having a full one when you’re finally out. A life without orgasm is not a life worth living. Hell- cumming is so important to your brain and body that it will literally rewire itself to cum in other ways if you lose sensation in your junk (Mitrokostas).

In an effort to understand the ridiculous position of the cult of burgeoning serial rapists (though their dicks will be hilariously inoperative in the effort) and murderers, one author interviewed prominent sexologists and therapists.

“I first spoke with Dr. Beverly Whipple, a leading sexologist and the co-author of The Science of Orgasm and numerous other books on sexuality. She told me that she’s unaware of any medical benefit to abstaining from orgasm, and she literally co-wrote the book on the subject. ‘I would know about this if there was something scientifically to it.’  

Next I spoke with Dr. Nan Wise, a sex therapist and psychotherapist with a PhD in cognitive neuroscience. She said that there really is no physiological benefit to abstaining from orgasm, but things are more complicated than that. ‘When it comes to sexuality, you always have to look at biological, psychological, and social stuff. The power of the mind shouldn’t be discounted. Here’s a place where the power of belief is going to determine what people experience, and their experience is going to confirm their belief. For people who believe that abstinence is going to help them, the belief itself may be driving some of the benefits” (O’Haver)

In other words, any benefits the VolCels (Voluntary Celibates) think they derive from abstaining from sex and cumming are psychosomatic- it’s entirely in their head.

“‘That said, any physical benefits from celibacy are likely to be short-lived. There’s really no hard evidence in support of the notion that abstaining from sexual activity or from ejaculation has any demonstrative benefits,’ Wise says.

‘On the other hand, there’s evidence that having fairly frequent ejaculations has health benefits in terms of lower levels of prostate cancer. In general, there’s a lot of evidence that engaging in regular sexual behavior is physically and emotionally helpful for both men and women, as long as we’re not getting diseases or doing stupid things.’

According to Dr. Wise, “there’s also evidence that engaging in sexual behavior increases testosterone levels. It’s not that low T causes people not to have sex; not having sex may actually inhibit testosterone.‘” (O’Haver)

And if you’ll recall, “sex” means any sexual activity ranging from masturbation to fucking to groping and making out- whether you’re fucking a pocket pussy, a Bad Dragon, or another person, your brain can’t tell the difference- cumming is cumming.

In Conclusion

Getting off is a good thing, and the more you do it, the better. It’s such a simple concept that it seems ridiculous I had to go to such lengths to refute NoFap (twice), but Part One of this series actually earned me a whole hate-filled memorial on 4Chan. It seems my clan of weirdly closeted Channer stalkers have taken a renewed interest in me, so if nothing else this serves as a massive fuck you to that pack of dickless nothings and an entertaining read for the rest of you.

Up next I’ll have an article on the value of high rep rowing that references all kinds of crazy shit, and I’ve started putting random workouts and days of eating on the Patreon, in addition to a review of the badass new slasher flick, Rambo: Last Blood. That’s right- that motherfucker is 100% a slasher flick, and my review is pretty fucking hilarious, if I do say so myself. And if you haven’t already signed up, help me help you be a bigger badass and throw me a few bucks so I can keep writing rad shit, because starving for my art has become really, really unpleasant.

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