I’ve been hitting legs three or four times a week for a few weeks now, and my legs look fucking phenomenal. Lots of people, however, have been calling bullshit, and been all-around general naysayers, which I find hilarious, since they are such pussies they cannot believe someone could man the fuck up and get after it. There’s not a lot of secrets here- it’s mostly just building up your tolerance for frequent training, and busting your ass. I don’t bother with any fucking jogging, biking, or any other so-called warmups, and my warmups always consist of singles, doubles, or triples.

I bet this fat bitch likes doing high rep lifting, too.

That’s right. Singles, doubles, and triples, dead cold. I have no idea why anyone would practice differently than they play, and I know for a fact that you cannot use the same form you’d use on a heavy single for reps. It just doesn’t work. Thus, my leg workouts will look a lot like my partial squats workout last Friday, and it went as follows.

Quarter Safety Bar Squats
1x1x235
1x1x415
1x1x595
1x1x685
1x1x775
1x1x865
12x1x955

I did the warmups as with only as much rest as it took to walk 5 feet to the water fountain, drink, and then load the next weight. My singles were done with rests ranging from 30 to 90 seconds. The entire thing was done within 40 minutes, all told, even with taking a leak, and my “warmup”

Oh, but YOU said YOU DON’T WARM UP.

I don’t, really. What I do is repeatedly slather the highest-strength Target brand Muscle Rub or Tiger balm all over any sore bodyparts until they’re on fire, and massage the living fuck out of them while I do so.

That’s how you get it done, and how you get the fuck after it with a minimum of bullshitting. I have no time for stationary bikes, treadmills, or any other assorted repetitious nonsense, but I certainly have time for lifting hard and heavy, and for Icy Hot. Mmmmmmmm. Menthylated goodness.

Now, go squat. Pics of the wheels of a cripple should inspire you.


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