Though I don’t really have a handle on raising the dead yet, I’ve got a couple of other tidbits to share with you from time to time, which my friends typically pass on to me as they know I will try just about anything to become superhuman.

Today’s odd herbal concoctions consist of remedies for joint health after severe trauma and one for depression. I personally don’t get depressed, but tried one of the supps as a kind of herbal adderal and it worked, and then suggested it to someone who was coming off cymbalta and it worked like a fucking charm.

Fuck Joint Pain!

It sucks, and it’s stupid, much like my current elbow injury.
So my 20 staples aside, what to do when faced with this sort of catastrophic bullshit? Take 3 grams of MSM, 1500 mg. of Vitamin C, a handful of a good digestive enzyme like Wobenzyme or Medizyme, and 5 grams of L-Glutamine, on an empty stomach, thrice daily. Swelling and pain go bye-bye, and doctors marvel at your striking resemblance to Wolverine.

Fuck Shitty Attention Spans!

As for the other, I’ve got two ways to go with it. First, combine a Biotest Spike with a serving of Happy Pills for a sort of herbal Adderal. The shit will wake you up and focus you nicely. Great for working on a massive tome of strength training and nutrition knowledge, ahem, or for just searching the internet for the perfect porn. Good stuff.

Fuck Depression!

The second way is to take a serving of Happy Pills in the morning, and a serving of SAMe at night, which will apparently work like Cymbalta, but without the inability to show emotion or generally get excited about anything at all, haha. Thus, if you find yourself bearing a stark resemblance to Weepy Smurf, get on top of this shit and you should be right as rain the next morning.

Until that day, fuckers.

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Now playing: Knights Of The Abyss – I Pledge Agrievance
via FoxyTunes

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