As you guys know, I despise writing about myself. In a universe in which everyone thinks they are the star of their own reality show, I fucking despise being on camera, and I despise performing for other people- it’s the main reason why I despise filming my lifts.

As such, most of you are unaware that after inclining 345 at around 205 about 7 months ago, I underwent a series of debilitating shoulder knots that defied my every effort to undo them and prevented me from benching on a flat or an incline. And I realize that 355 isn’t going to melt anyone’s panties, I was chasing a 405 incline, which should melt a couple of panties, at the very least. Edible ones, perhaps, would melt under the increased temperature and moisture.

In any event, I stopped doing any and all barbell work for my shoulders and chest and went entirely to machines and cables. The result is that my chest and shoulders look fucking amazing, but I’m not quite sure how my strength has fared in the interim. I did easily double 255 on strict overhead press once, beltless, and it felt like my fucking abs were tearing in half but the load on my shoulders was definitely more than manageable, so I’m thinking benching should be similarly decent.

Yesterday was the day I tested it out, and he’re what I did:

Incline Bench Press– 135 x 25; 135 x 20; 225 x 10; 275 x 1; 295 x 1; 315 x 1; 325 x 1

My right shoulder is the one that most recently gave me shit, and it was a bit tight, so I decided to stop at 325, which was pretty easy and done without a spotter or a liftoff.

Machine Flyes– (I don’t pay any attention to what the weight is- I just keep adding it until I’m at the stack and alter my contraction time downwards as I increase weight. For the first couple of sets I do a 4-6 count contraction, then reduce it to just slamming the handles together as I get to the stack) shitload of sets ranging in reps from 12 to 3. This has been my bread and butter exercise for months and I swear by it- clearly, it’s working.

Hammer Strength Chest Press– 2 x 30 x 1 plate a side; 2 x 20 x 2; a few sets for max reps with 3 plates; 2 x 4 x 3 plates and a 25; 1 x AMRAP x 3 plates; 1 x AMRAP x 2 plates

Reverse Flyes (rear delts)- 5-6 x 12

So I have no idea what I weigh right now and don’t care- what I do care about is that I lost no strength whatsoever in the intervening months of not touching a barbell, and really drank in the value of rep work on machines. That’s not to say I’ve quit on barbells- this is just the natural ebb and flow and progression of lifting.

By the way, if you restrict yourself to barbells because you think it makes you cool, it fucking doesn’t. How you guys got the notion I’m part of the internet’s anti-machine movement is a fucking mystery.

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