Pullups: Separating the Wheat from the Chaff, the Men from the Boys, and the Awkwardly Feminine from the Possibly Canadian Since the Stone Age.

They’re a hallmark of phys ed class, the bane of fat kids and channers, and the (sorta) beloved exercise of CrossFitters- pullups. Additionally, they are the only type of exercise that counts as a survival trait outside of swimming, since anyone who’s ever dangled out a window, off a cliff, from a lofty tree branch, or from a helicopter skid would have ended up a Jackson Pollack painting in gore had it not been for their ability to do a pullup. The best part? They’re free, so packing on upper body mass can literally cost you nothing if you simply prostrate yourself before the almighty god Pullup and devote yourself to a daily dose of his worship.

And before we get started, if you cannot do 25 consecutive pullups or chinups, your opinion on kipping is unwarranted, invalid, and generally fucking retarded. Even if you can manage to eke out 25 reps and have an issue with kipping pullups, no one fucking cares- anyone who is good at kipping pullups almost certainly has a better upper body than someone who sucks at all pullup variations. Therefore, prepare to be ridiculed mercilessly if you decide to pop off in the comments. Know how I know this? Because I’ve done over 1500 pullups in a day more than once and lived to tell the tale (before you ask, 12-15 rep sets over and over throughout a very boring day), and you get to a point where you really don’t give a fuck how they’re done, so long as your chin gets within shouting distance of the bar. And for the record, kipping pullups are to pullups what the push press is to the military press, so if you hate CrossFit and butterfly pullups, just have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up, because you’re an idiot.

Frankly, pullups are so fucking easy that this article seems unnecessary, and the topic has been covered to the point that this might seem redundant, but as I am the People’s Champion, I’m giving you what you guys have requested. Dating back at least to the time of Galen, who described chinning movements in Hygeine (170-180AD), the pullup, chinup, and all of their myriad variations are one of the longest surviving codified exercises in human history. If the dip is the upper body squat, then the pullup is… well, I don’t think there is a decent analogue, but just rest assured that the pullup is not an exercise to be ignored. And if you can’t do pullups with any kind of ease, it’s a fair bet you’re no great shakes in the strength department.

If you suck at pullups, forget everything you think know about building them up- I am about to school the fuck out of you on this. The NFL physical requires (or required, as the article I initially read on the subject is long lost) players to be able to complete one pullup, and for linemen who can weigh upwards of 400 lbs, that can be a motherfucker (though for one 338lb beast of a man, nine pullups looks easier than it likely does for a lot of you). The solution, however, is easier than that aforementioned motherfucker- they use negatives to get those man mountains to be able to bust out pullups with ease.

For whatever reason, negative pullups seem easiest to do in sets of three- it’s a nice number wherein you can throw yourself into the deep end without drowning, and can basically do endless sets if you want. As I highly doubt anyone reading this is a rank beginner and I have no interest in coaching beginners to anything past the exit of the gym, we’ll just assume you have a baseline level fitness. As such, you’re gonna do 30 reps of negatives in sets of 3 or less, three times a week. Given that 100 reps of pullups should be a warmup for anyone with a pulse and a desire to stay aboveground beyond the first 15 minutes of whatever apocalypse seems to be looming, 90 reps a week shouldn’t kill anyone. Using that scheme, even someone with stage four cancer who’s recently been released from an internment camp should be able to knock out some full rep pullups inside of a month.

From there, the sky is the limit. Famed strength author David Willoughby had a formula worked out for determining how many pullups was equivalent to a one arm pullup or chin, and how weighted pullups would factor in. By his calculations, if you can do a set of 9 pullups, you can do a single weighted pullup with 35lbs added. If you can do 24 chins, you can do a single one arm chin. I’d recommend you use those guidelines as a loose idea of what you’re capable of, and if one arm chins are one your list of things to do, make sure you can do 25-30 two arm chins before you drunkenly try to show off your pullup skills on an airplane.

Speaking of which, if you have a burning need to publicly display your physical prowess with one arm pullups rather than a haka or something, I don’t recommend you go the Barrrstarzz-approved method and do them with resistance bands. Though the Barrstarzz guys are definitely monsters at fiddlefucking around on playground equipment and hustling change on street corners, their instructional vids seem to be utter nonsense. The use of training wheels like resistance bands for pullups or those ridiculous pullup/dip machines is just going to allow you to rely on the implement rather than yourself, which defeats the entire point of doing them in the first place. As such, I recommend that you use negatives for those as well. Prior to blowing my left bicep off the bone I would go through occasional bouts of interest in one arm pullups and chins, and negatives were definitely the best method for developing strength and technique.

If you think one arm chins are only for the diminutive, you’re wrong- Bert Asserati could do three one arm chins at a weight of 240lbs in 1938. Likewise, bodybuilder Jack Delinger could do five with either arm, Steve Stanko could do three with either arm, and Eugen Sandow could do a chin with any single finger, including his fucking thumb (Willoughby Chins). In short, there is no such thing as “too big to do one arm chins.” There is simply too weak, and we can fix weak. According to Willoughby, who spent his entire life studying this shit, there were two non-negative methods that worked best.

“One way is to continue to chin using both arms, and to add weight in gradually increasing amounts to your bodyweight. For example, suppose you have reached the stage where you can perform, say, 15 bodyweight pullups with both arms. You should then attach a 10 or 15-pound barbell plate around your waist and reduce the number of pullups, performing several sets or series of these with brief rests between. When you have progressed to where you can do 15 reps in a single set with the added weight, a again drop back down to 8 or 10 reps with another increase in the amount of weight carried; and so on. When you reach the stage where you can perform a single pullup while carrying extra weight equal to two-thirds of your bodyweight, you should have the strength, if not the capability, to chin with one arm (Willoughby Chins).

From there, Willoughby said, you should work to “breast” the bar rather than simply chinning it. Work on doing progressively deeper partial chins from the top position, then do a very slow negative to the bottom of the rep. Yeah, negatives are the shit. This way, you can leave the resistance bands to the little people who are gonna go play on the jungle gym later. Willoughby did add a bit to his recommendation that is unsurprisingly not mentioned by any other writer I perused on the topic- what to do with your non-lifting hand. Though I had initially used my non-lifting hand to stabilize and help with the pull by holding the wrist of my lifting hand, I quickly realized if I kept doing that I would never graduate to a single arm chin. Apparently, the guys Willoughby studied had the same idea.

“One difficulty – perhaps the main difficulty – connected with a one-arm chin is to have the hand of the chinning arm in the most advantageous position for starting the pullup. This is with the palm of the hand facing the body, just as in chinning with both arms. This preliminary maneuver places the body in a favorable position for being drawn up to the hand, as the necessary drawing-in of the forearm close to the chest (to the finishing position of rest) can take place only when the palm is facing the body. In doing more than a single one-arm chin at a time, the body should never be lowered to the extent of completely straightening the arm; if it is, the body will swing around out of the proper position for commencing the next pullup. Therefore, if and when you become able to repeat the one-arm chin, keep your legs straight and well up in front, and in lowering your body do not let your arm straighten past the point where you can exert full power for the next pullup” (Willoughby Chins).

A Couple of Other Methods for Bringing Up Your Pullup/Chinup

Monkey Bar Arm Walks

This is a favorite of both world record holder in pullups Alicia Weber and of one of the founding fathers of American strength sports, George Barker Winship. you might recall Winship for his creation of a badass deadlifting machine that was all the rage back in the day, but Winship was known for more than that. According to David Willoughby,

“Dr. George Barker Winship (67 inches, 160 pounds), a leading all-around strength athlete of those days, developed great upper-body strength by the following means. In the gymnasium he attended there was a fixed, inclined ladder. Hanging by both hands from one of the rungs of this ladder, and facing the upper end, Winship would launch himself upward to the top of the ladder in a series of pullups, rung by rung. When this became easy, he would do the same thing, only each time skipping a rung. Naturally this was a risky feat as the top of the ladder was approached. He then became able to skip two rungs. After several months of such training, he found that he head unknowingly gained the strength to do pullups with one arm. He then progressed by using only one hand for the hoistings, and finally became able to go up the ladder using only one arm and skipping two rungs on every pullup. Small wonder that he could easily hang suspended from the rung of a ladder by his little finger alone, or chin the bar with the same meager grip” (Willoughby Chins).

Holder of eleventy-million pullup records Alicia Weber wasn’t quite so hardcore about it, and noted that “this exercise is easier than a pullup because the arms can be held in extension the whole time” (Anderson). She recommends doing this in 30-60 second bursts, practicing both forward and backward walking.

Flexed Arm Hang Walking

Another fave of Alicia Weber, these are to be done on parallel bars, but as most of us lack access to gymnastics equipment, you can just use the outside rails on monkey bars to get the same effect… or level the fuck up and do them like lifter Al Berger’s training partner Henry Matysek did them (pictured above, though that’s Al Berger) holding on to rafters set 18″ apart. Whatever you use, your palms should be neutral (i.e. facing each other), and she does them with her knees tucked into her chest to hit abs as well. Again in 30-60 minute bursts, she walks the bars back and forth with bent arms.

Grow Your Biceps

One point Willoughby made over and over is that your bicep strength directly correlated to your ability to do pullups. The guys with the more heavly developed arms seem to have an easier time with pullups, and Willoughby had a whole equation to prove it. Al Berger, pictured in the flexed arm walk pic, could do a hell of a lot of pullups, and was one of the men in Willoughby’s treatment on comparative bicep and pullup strength.

“Berger by 1947 had increased his weight to 248 lbs. while carrying little or no excess fat. At the latter bodyweight he performed a correct two arm military curl with 240 lbs. This lift was equivalent to a two arm chin with a total weight (i.e. including bodyweight) or 457 lbs. And the latter two arm chin, or pullup, is equivalent to a one arm chin with a total (including bodyweight) of 274 lbs.; a one arm chin without extra weight, 3 or 4 times in succession; or 38 consecutive chins free two arm chins” (Willoughby Chins).

As I’ve published dozens of articles with the arm training routines of every manner of lifter, I’m not going to dig up that horse’s corpse and flog it. Just train the fuck out of your arms. It’s not goddamned rocket surgery.

Row Like Your Name is Olaf

This is something I’ve come to realize over time, and everyone with whom I’ve shared this has agreed- if you include large numbers of higher rep cable rows into your workout twice or three times a week, you will have a sick back, badass arms, and the ability to do a lot of pullups very easily after a few weeks. I honestly can’t explain why I enjoy 10-20 rep sets of cable rows for hours at a time- I just do. And after two months of those without a single pullup, I was able to do a set of 30 pullups that was reasonably strict, without a warmup. And that was after gaining at least fifteen pounds post incarceration.

For Fuck’s Sake, You Don’t Need a Program

If someone is trying to sell you a pullup progression program they’re a charlatan and should be drug out into the streets, shot, and left for the fucking dogs. You don’t need a program, you need a bar from which to do pullups. Try some of these ideas:

• set a daily volume goal and do however many sets you need to so you reach it. I recommend starting with 50-100 and work up from there. Don’t go to failure on each set- stop a couple of reps short. Otherwise you’ll burn out and miss your target volume.
• buy a pullup bar and put it in a doorway through which you walk frequently. Every time you go through it, do 5-10 pullups.
• use that same bar and set it up where you can see the tv, and do pullups at random while you hang out and binge watch Guy’s Grocery Games.

And there you have it- an extensive article about a survival skill you should already possess. If this seemed unnecessary, you have only your fellow readers to blame. If this is exactly the knowledge for which you’ve been waiting for years, my apologies- I honestly didn’t know this stuff wasn’t common knowledge.

Sources:

Anderson, Jon R. 3 drills to better pullups from record holder Alicia Weber. Military Times. https://www.militarytimes.com/off-duty/military-fitness/2014/04/09/3-drills-to-better-your-pullups-from-record-holder-alicia-weber/

Heffernan, Connor. The history of the pull up. Physical Culture Study. 11 May 18. Web. 27 Dec 2018. https://physicalculturestudy.com/2018/05/11/the-history-of-the-pull-up/

Willoughby, David. Some chinning records and training for the one-arm chin. The Tight Tan Slacks of Dezso Ban. 17 Jun 2008. Web. 6 Jan 2019. http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2008/06/chins-david-willoughby.html

Willoughby, David P. The Super Athletes. South Brunswick: A.S. Barnes and Company, 1970.

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